CBG: Hunger & Thirst

And [Jesus] opened his mouth and taught them, saying:
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

Matthew 5:2-6

Sometimes, alright if we’re being honest, often, when I’m hungry, I want a delicious vanilla ice cream cone with rainbow sprinkles. When I’m thirsty, I dream of a whiskey cocktail, ideally a Manhattan or a Sazarec. What would be most ideal is an ice cream & whiskey combo meal. And even those things are beautiful creations, I’m left desiring something else to eat or drink very soon after, or I feel sick and sit in regret. Even though it can feel farfetched, there is a way to train my body to desire vegetables and water. There is a way to train my body to long and love vegetables. When my body is in the practice of wanting vegetables, when I receive them, I’m excited. I’m not simply reluctantly eating a plant-based diet because “it’s good for me.” I want it. I see the variety and the possibility in vegetables. I feel physically good. I can be full and not harbor secret desires for cupcakes. It doesn’t mean that I won’t ever eat a cookie. I can still indulge in chips & cookies, but those are no longer the things I run after for satisfaction; they are things I get to have because I am already satisfied. This is hard. I naturally, or have been brought up, to love junk food and carbs. Broccoli currently doesn’t make me skip in joy. It takes discipline, practice and community to retrain the body and mind to center vegetables and see that they, too, can be colorful.

Thus is righteousness. To long, to love, to desire, to know the depths of good for you and others of, righteousness. To see righteousness as worthy to be sought after. To see righteousness as fun as all the other vices. Because righteousness feels close to how we were created to exist; an alignment with the goodness of God. If we can hunger and thirst for righteousness, we can experience an integrity that leads to well-deserved rest.

Prayer: God may I seek what actually satisfies and leads to rest.

What feels unsatisfied and lacking right now?

CBG: Meek

And [Jesus] opened his mouth and taught them, saying:
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Matthew 5:2-5

Meek. Who do you see when you envision someone who is meek?

In a capitalistic, patriarchal, white supremacist world, meek isn’t the quality taught to those who want to succeed. Meek gets overpowered. Meek falls to the background. Meek isn’t heard or seen. Meek doesn’t interject. Meek doesn’t shout. Meek isn’t recognized on social media or seeks to go viral. Meek doesn’t vie with its competitors.

Because meek isn’t in competition to be more seen or to get head. Meek roots in worth and visibility. Meek works from the inside. Meek speaks when needed and that clear, wise softness cuts through the jargon and noise. Meek doesn’t need to prove their worth in crowds doing that because the crowd wouldn’t even understand. Meek is on its own race, center and purpose. Meek sees the results and product oriented attitude in capitalism as trivial and creates instead things that feed the soul. Meek sees the fear and ego built into patriarchy and feeds itself love and faith instead. Meek calls out the self-hatred and false set of rules in white supremacy, so lives life from possibility and presence. THIS is the earth they get to live in, and those who know, know.

Prayer: God help me to be fully present to all beings and to see their infinite possibility. Help me to create to expand and to give, and not to horde or lord over others. Help me to love and take risks rather than self-protect.

Where in your life would it be radical to be meek?

CBG: Mourning

And [Jesus] opened his mouth and taught them, saying:
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Matthew 5:2-4

When do we mourn? What fills us in times of mourning?

We mourn when we had and now we have lost. We mourn what was and are approaching what is. We mourn what could have been while waiting for what’s next. Mourning is an expression of care. Mourning involves emptying and letting go. Mourning is painful because it feels like the only thing that matters in the moment isn’t making the situation any better. It can overtake you. It can fog everything. It has its own timeline and reminds us again we are not in control. Yet this act can be a blessing because it reveals our capacity to love, dream and hold. Mourning reflects the depth of our connection and care. Mourning demonstrates that this present moment cannot be the end. In mourning, it is healthy and right to feel the heartbreak and hopelessness. In the void and hole is its corresponding space to be filled. It is a space ready to be with newness, unimaginable pivots and an intimacy with God that otherwise cannot be accessed. Comfort is the closeness of another.

Prayer: God make me brave to fully grieve the things I have lost and desired. Help me feel your presence in that grief.

What scares you about comfort in mourning?

CBG: Poor

Seeing the crowds, he went up on the mountain, and when he sat down, his disciples came to him.

And he opened his mouth and taught them saying:

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 5:1-3

What is the purpose of the Beatitudes? Who is the audience? What does this teach us about the goal of sermons?

Jesus speaks to his disciples, those that already follow him. He is telling this to those who are already open to hear. The Beatitudes are not done to convince an audience of God’s power; they are blessings for those who are in the community to feel connected to their leader, to each other and to their now purpose. This is a teaching on identity and a call to action to keep pressing into those identities. Sermons are reminders of our identity in Christ and the corresponding promptings for action once we are sent out into the community. How can people who don’t believe in Christ still be moved by the Beatitudes and sermons? Because in hearing these identities, they see themselves; and to keep pushing into growth and discomfort in these identities requires a faith of promises. For those in Christ, we believe God will provide.

How does being “poor in spirit” make one a recipient of “kingdom of heaven?” What is the reality of one who is “poor in spirit?”

Poor requires sacrifice and wisdom. Limits and priorities are at the forefront. There is more a presence to the current situation and its needs. In poor, there is the balance of what one has and what one does not have. In poor, one can see most fully the power of faith and gratitude, resilience and perseverance, of what can be! These are the characteristics of kingdom of heaven. The kingdom of heaven is a perspective and reality of all that can be. It is the faith that abundance and fulfillment lie in sacrifice, wisdom, boundaries, priorities and presence. In one’s surrender and trust that tomorrow God will yet again provide, one lives in a realm void of fear and lack and full of joy and peace.

Prayer: God I pray for a trust in your abundance and provision, that all the areas that the world paints as poor, weak and lacking are the exact places I have my strengths and answers.

How does lack feel? How is that feeling a call to faith and community?

CBG: Fatherhood

Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband Joseph being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, ‘Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.’ All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken to the prophet:
‘Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel’
(which means God with us.) When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus.

Matthew 1:18-25

Joseph receives in a dream to marry Mary even though she’s suddenly with child that isn’t his doing. He does. Joseph later receives a dream to flee to Egypt with his family. He does. He then receives another vision to go back to Nazareth, and he does. The faith, the flexibility, the follow up — these are the marks of fatherhood. The lack of ego, the quickness to surrender plans for the sake of the family and the insane belief that he was part of something bigger than whatever he could conjure up — the marks of a good father.

To all the fathers out there that have surrendered plans, led with faith for the well-being of your family and cared for those vulnerable, thank you. To all the fathers that have been scared shitless, thank you. To all the fathers that have doubted and wanted to quietly get by and really didn’t know how, thank you. To all the fathers that got the spotlight when you didn’t ask for it, thank you.

Thank you — To all the fathers that were taken away from us too soon. To all the fathers that feel alone right now. To all the fathers who feel misunderstood. To all the fathers taking up the hardest task and privilege of fatherhood.

Rest. Celebrate. Commemorate.

CBG: All Body Parts Matter

They eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.

1 Corinthians 12:21-26

All body parts matter. Maybe except the appendix. No one in this illustration is the appendix. If one member suffers, all suffer together. Because the parts are interdependent and connected. When your ear hurts, it may feel like your spleen doesn’t understand it, but because the body hurts over the ear, thus the spleen is affected when the body is not working at its optimal. And if you were the spleen, you might not even know that you’re affected because you’ve been fine hiding in there amongst the other organs that seem to be working. But trauma and pain will eventually reach you and when it does, oof, code blue. So do you have the faith to trust that another body part is hurting even when you are not that body part, or even adjacent to that body part? Do you have the faith and love to see that each body part is necessary and vital to the whole being working. You alone, in your specific body functions, will not be enough. And the parts that you most don’t think are significant to your functioning, are probably the ones you should be focusing on right now. All body parts matter. When you hear that are there some body parts you’re not endowing that truth and experience upon?

May we be spleens that are compassionate and smart enough to shout, The ear matters, and after that, fight so that other body parts believe that as well!

Prayer: God help me to be the function that I was created to live into and do my part for this body.

What is your role in the body?

CBG: Leadership

When [Jesus] had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, “Do you understand what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them. I am not speaking of all of you; I know whom I have chosen. But the Scripture will be fulfilled, ‘He who ate my bread has lifted his heel against me.’ I am telling you this now, before it takes place, that when it does take place you may believe that I am he. Truly, truly I say to you, whoever receives the one I send receives me, and whoever receives me receives the one who sent me.”

John 13:12-20

What do Jesus, James Baldwin, Laverne Cox and Brene Brown have in common?

They lead by example. They lead from self-examination and self-responsibility. They lead from seeing their own souls first. They are bold in getting messy. They are brave in saying where there needs growth in themselves because in talking about themselves, I recognize it in me. They hold themselves to the same standards they hold us. When I listen or read their words, I am convicted and challenged how I can receive as they have been convicted and challenged how they have can receive. I thank them for their example. I thank them for their pure authenticity and honesty. I thank them for expecting the impossible from us. I thank them for desiring all of us to experience a wholeness that we were made for. I thank them for showing us the way to freedom by being the freest people. Happy Juneteenth.

Prayer: God I want to lead from vulnerability and self-examination. God I want to lead from seeing myself clearly and seeing the fullness of others.

From what wounds and pains can I lead from?

CBG: Draw Near

Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Hebrews 4:12-16

We are encouraged to draw near to God, with confidence, in order to confess our weaknesses, our temptations and our needs. We are encouraged to hold fast to our confession, to always be self-critical of ourselves, but in the presence of God, before the throne of grace. If we are self-critical apart from the presence of grace, we won’t receive the mercy for ourselves or the grace to help others. We cannot be self-critical apart from the unending grace of God that says, still we are worthy, still we are clean, especially in our vulnerable confession. We cannot be of service without this openness and vulnerability. Because otherwise we might become bitter or self-loathing. It is at the place of experiencing mercy for ourselves that we can approach others not to help but to draw them to the throne of grace where there they will receive help just as we have. Our vulnerable and humble approach, at the feet of the throne, is the best position for us to extend to others who are also in need.

I have been very self-critical, bordering self-loathing. I had let myself go down rabbit holes of loneliness, inadequacy and triviality. My unhealthy thoughts and self-pity made me shrink and sleep more so I had fewer waking hours to face. Then I approached the Lord and I was healed. No, silly. I didn’t want to approach the Lord, or I thought I had been, but nothing was changing, so that made me weary. I had to keep approaching the throne of grace and keep confessing. This wasn’t a one time kind of confessing and a one time kind of mercy-gift that took all the pain away. I am still in the process of vulnerability and confession while also speaking over myself the promises of God, of all the things s/he says I am. I am worthy. I am enough. I am a daughter. I am a beloved child of God. I am an instrument. I am good. It’s in the midst of these I AM that I can also say all the things I am afraid to admit to anyone but God. My confessions in the presence of I AM leads to a quiet strength to go another day.

Prayer: God help me to hold my worth, my vulnerability and my responsibility all before you.

What would give you the confidence to approach the throne of grace?

CBG: Promises

Then the foremen of the people of Israel came and cried to Pharaoh, “Why do you treat your servants like this? No straw is given to your servants, yet they say to us, ‘Make bricks!’ And behold, your servants are beaten; but the fault is in your own people.” But he said, “You are idle, you are idle; that is why you say, ‘Let us go and sacrifice to the Lord.’ Go now and work. No straw will be given you, but you must deliver the same number of bricks.” The foremen of the people of Israel saw that they were in trouble when they said, “You shall by no means reduce your number of bricks, your daily task each day.” They met Moses and Aaron, who were waiting for them, as they came out from Pharaoh; and they said to them, “The Lord look on you and judge, because you have made us stink in the sight of the Pharaoh and his servants, and have put a sword in their hand to kill us.” Then Moses turned to the Lord and said, “O, Lord, why have you done evil to this people? Why did you ever send me? For since I came to Pharaoh to speak in your name, he has done evil to his people, and you have not delivered your people at all.”

Exodus 5:15-23

It’s at this point that the foremen recognizes that the Hebrews are a stink in the sight of the Pharaoh and that death was awaiting them. The Hebrews had been in slavery for centuries. They have always been a stink in the sight of the Pharaoh, yet now they express how much the Pharaoh doesn’t care about the Hebrews’ well-being. The foremen are pissed. Had they been tolerating and making the best of their reality up until now? Had they been trying to get on the Pharaoh’s good side and slowly hope for changes, and now that’s thrown out the window? Regardless, they are angry because they are given an impossible task that most probably will lead to their deaths.

But if they didn’t see death so clearly, would they have ever risked going into the desert with Moses, a runway Hebrew/Egyptian murderer? If they had not felt so clearly that they were either going to die in the hands of the Egyptians as slaves or die trying to be free, would they have chosen the latter? Any notions that this system the Hebrews are working under will get better or is tolerable, are wiped away with the Pharaoh’s unjust new commands. The Hebrews are becoming more and more certain that they can no longer live under this oppression.

But the middle from the oppression to the promise land can be arduous and uncomfortable. Things can seem wrong. Leaders might not be trusted immediately because the leaders themselves might be afraid. Everyone here is taking steps of faith, coming back to the promises of God. Coming back to the promises of God during times of oppression and hard DOES NOT MAKE SENSE to those who live by human reasoning. Coming back to the promises of God, and trusting and asking for his moves requires a faith and courage that you feel you don’t have. Because this is an impossible task. No one without God can walk through the Red Sea. But God was there and God is here. God hears the voice of the oppressed and his plans thwart any human predictions. God will lead us through the valleys and shadows into a land full of milk and honey.

Prayer: God bring me back to your promises of deliverance and of wholeness. Give me courage and patience to endure even when I feel misunderstood and judged by those I love.

When have you said this to God, why did you ever send me?

CBG: Liberation

One day, when Moses had grown up, he went out to his people and looked on their burdens, and he saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, one of his people. He looked this way and that, and seeing no one, he struck down the Egyptian and hid him in the sand. When he went out the next day, behold, two Hebrews were struggling together. And he said to the man in the wrong, “Why do you strike your companion?” He answered, “Who made you a prince and a judge over us? Do you mean to kill me as you killed the Egyptian?” Then Moses was afraid, and thought, “Surely the thing is known.” When Pharaoh heard of it, he sought to kill Moses. But Moses fled from Pharaoh and stayed in the land of Midian. And he sat down by a well. Now the priest of Midian had seven daughters, and they came and drew water and filled the troughs to water their father’s flock. The shepherds came and drove them away, but Moses stood up and saved them, and watered their flock. When they came home to their father Reuel, he said, “How is it that you have come home so soon today?” They said, “An Egyptian delivered us out of the hand of the shepherds and even drew water for us and watered the flock.” He said to his daughters, “Then where is he? Why have you left the man? Call him, that he may eat bread.” And Moses was content to dwell with the man, and he gave Moses his daughter Zipporah. She gave birth to a son, and he called his name Gershom, for he said, “I have been a sojourner in a foreign land.”

Exodus 2:11-22

Moses desire to help doesn’t always pan out. Even though he was raised in the Pharaoh’s house, he counted himself a Hebrew and avenged the beating of his own people by killing an Egyptian. Even though Moses was Hebrew by blood and nurture, his fellow Hebrews do not count allegiance with him or respect him. He’s neither accepted with the Egyptians or with the Hebrews. He runs away and once again, stands up for the daughters of Midian. They assume him an Egyptian and Moses knows even with a Midian wife and a Midian son, he is but a sojourner in a foreign land.

Born out of water, Moses neither fits smoothly here or there. He had access to a people by blood/nature and to an upbringing because of compassion. He had a wonderful education, food on the table, a beautiful roof over his head and one day, when he was grown up, he finally saw the oppression and he acted. (Though poorly.) You are not faulted for the privilege and access you have been given. However, when you are grown up and become aware of the oppression, you are now responsible and culpable. Your initial actions to “help the oppressed” might not be received well, might actually do more harm than good. Those you want to “help” might not see you as an ally. Don’t simply help. Take your help and toss it in the trash. See the pain of the oppressed as your own oppression, so much that it springs you into wanting to destroy the reality of the oppression (not necessarily the oppressor.) Don’t help because you are looking from the outside but act because in acting you are creating liberation for all, including yourself! No one is free when others are oppressed. (Unknown)

When you are misunderstood and hated, it feels heart-wrenching and lonely. It can feel like what has been done wasn’t worth it. The waking up to reality isn’t worth it. But remember this, you have been freed. Freed from the fog, freed from this in-between, freed from ignorance. Plus you are a sojourner in a foreign land. Your home in heaven is secure and you will never be separated from God. This pain is temporary. Still do compassion.

Prayer: God I pray for a grace and a kindness when I feel misunderstood. God I pray for a comfort and security in you as my judge when I feel unseen and misunderstood. God I pray even still, I will act with kindness and compassion.

How do you respond when you feel misunderstood?