Lent Day 13: I give up Unhelpful Comparison

March 1, 2021 — Leave a comment

Then YOUR light will break forth like the dawn, and YOUR healing will quickly appear; then YOUR righteousness will go before YOU, and the glory of the Lord will be YOUR read guard. Then YOU will call, and the Lord will answer; YOU will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

Isaiah 58:8-9

I give up comparing my path with the path of those who inspire me, in such a way that makes me despair. I give up comparing my path with the path of those who irk me, in such a way that makes me arrogant. I give up comparing my insecurities with their confidence, in such a way that makes me only think, my path is hard. I give up comparing my confidence with their insecurities, in such a way that expects people to change on my timeline. I give up the noise that tries to steal my joy and tries to make my victories seem insignificant. My path is significant, complicated and glorious, and I see that most clearly when I focus on the hope that has carried me to this present moment.

Lent Day 12: I give up Playing Small

March 1, 2021 — 1 Comment

The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.

Isaiah 58:11

I give up playing small. I give up standing in the back afraid to take up too much space. I give up dimming my own light in some wicked “false humility” stance. I trust that if I am given strength, it is to make those around me strong as well. If I have been given any wisdom, it is to be an example and a guide for those around me. If I have been filled and satisfied, it is because I have the ability and opportunity to do the same for those around me. We are made to be well-watered gardens, both beautiful and full in itself, and a gift for others to experience. My God is too big for me to play small.

Lent Day 11: I give up Nonstop Work

February 27, 2021 — 1 Comment

If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath and from doing as you please on my holy day, if you call the Sabbath a delight and the Lord’s holy day honorable, and if you honor it by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, then you will find your joy in the Lord, and I will cause you to ride in triumph heights of the land and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob. For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.

Isaiah 58:13-14

I give up working as if when I stop, the world stops. I give into rest when I need to rest. I give up doing more, just so I feel like I’m doing something. I give into admiring how far I’ve come. I give up the fear of stopping. I delight in the moments of joy and rest and abundance. I give up withholding my enthusiasm and my joy. The other dips and the other sorrows will have their moment, and for now, I will bravely laugh too loud and smile too big. Rejoice when you can rejoice. Mourning will come. New mornings will also come.

Lent Day 10: I give up Pointing Fingers

February 26, 2021 — 1 Comment

Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife, and in striking each other with wicked fists. You cannot fast as you do today and expect your voice to be heard on high. Is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for people to humble themselves? Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed and for lying in sackcloth and ashes? Is that what you call a fast, a day acceptable to the Lord? Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the chains of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?

Isaiah 58:3-6

I give up thinking fault can only be found on the outside and in others. Where am I culpable? Where am I responsible for the quarreling and strife? I give up pointing fingers just so I can have some semblance of “control” in directing my anger somewhere. How can I be brave in looking in and seeing where I can choose better, listen better and respond better? I give up thinking the solutions are out there when big systems change and circumstances shifts. What if the progress is in my process? What if I have more agency than I feel comfortable admitting? What if I’m just as much at fault and just as much in power? If my worth and my relevance are not wrapped up in how stable I am, will I let go more and give into what needs to change?

Lent Day 9: I give up My Limited View of Brethren

February 25, 2021 — Leave a comment

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter — when you see the naked, to clothe them, and not turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.

Isaiah 58:6-8

I give up damaging boundaries of who is and who is not my own flesh and blood. I give up tribalism. I give up excluding people from “my community.” I want to reimagine who is my responsibility, who is my joy to call brother and sister, who is part of me. I want to feel the depths of interdependence God intends, right from the beginning. God is community and as I am in God, thus you are in me. I give up feeling that my love and my resources can only be limited to certain folks. My love and my resources are ever overflowing, if I remember my ever flowing source. My well can always be full when I remember the good God that desires to fill it.

Lent Day 8: I give up Duplicity

February 24, 2021 — Leave a comment

And if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.

Isaiah 58:10-11

I give up duplicity, saying I live in behalf of the oppressed, yet desiring the lifestyle of the oppressors. I give up believing that the treasure and the light are in the high and mighty and beautiful social-media liked platforms. I give up looking for satisfaction in my oppressors — those who don’t see me, those who don’t believe in me, those who are not making a way for my freedom. I give up, I let go, I will work till my dying breath, to not be an oppressor. I choose to see people. I choose to believe in the humanity and goodness of others. I choose to make liberation available for all. I want to believe that the land I’m in right now, this sun-scorched land where I feel beaten and weak and so close to need, is exactly where God will do the mightiest work.

Lent Day 7: I give up Half-Ass Change

February 23, 2021 — Leave a comment

Is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for people to humble themselves? Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed and for lying in sackcloth and ashes? Is that what you call a fast, a day acceptable to the Lord?

Isaiah 58:5

I give up management strategies. I give up tacking on more To Do’s and Best Practices to live my Best Life. I give up the never-ending search for self-improvement. I give up the kind of change that exists mostly on the outside. I give up changes that mask the bigger issues I’ve been too scared to address. I want real transformation. I want transformation that sticks. I want transformation that expands how I see myself, how I see others and how I see the world. I want transformation that could not be fashioned by human ways; the divine and the community had to come into play. I want divine transformation. I give into divine transformation that stops me in my tracks. I give into divine transformation where I know, without a doubt, God is at play.

Lent Day 6: I give up Staying Caged

February 22, 2021 — 1 Comment

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?

Isaiah 58:6

I give up the ways I imprison myself. I give up living in bitterness and resentment over small and trivial matters. I give up wasting my energy on projects and people that don’t align with integrity and kindness. It is not my responsibility to align people with me. I give up letting others co-opt my own sense of integrity, kindness and courage. I give up caging myself in when the prison door has flown open. I give up thinking I don’t deserve to be free. I am free. I’m going to chase after freedom. I set my mind on freedom. I set my heart on freedom. I’m going to make sure others are free as well.

Lent Day 5: I give up Neat & Cute Crying

February 21, 2021 — Leave a comment

Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here I am.

Isaiah 58:9

I give up trying to figure it out on my own. I give up trying to figure it out in a neat and cute way. Screw you neat! Screw you cute! Screw you there’s just one way to shout. I give up screaming on the inside and being scared of shouting on the outside. I give up looking neat and cute in my need for help. I give up not wanting to be needy. I give up not wanting to cry. I give up not asking for help. I give up seeing my outward expressions of need as burdens. I give up the lack of trust that when I call, someone will answer. Someone will answer. People answer. God answers.

Lent Day 4: I give up Scarcity

February 20, 2021 — Leave a comment

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter — when you see the naked, to clothe them, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

Isaiah 58:6-7

I give up scarcity. I give up hoarding for fear of running out. I give up withholding when I can give. I give up thinking that if another gets, it takes from me. I give up these ideas rooted in white supremacy, that there are only so many seats at the table. I give up seeing flesh and blood, my neighbor, the person in front of me, as separate from me. I lean into faith by giving just a little. I lean into faith by giving a little more than I feel comfortable doing, aware that even if I give too much, it will come back. God always provides. I lean into giving knowing that there is enough to share. I lean into Jesus’ miracle of the 5 loaves and 2 fish. I lean into Jesus’ witness of the women who gave all her 2 coins. I lean into giving it my all. I lean into knowing the reward comes back in the moment and in the future. Generosity is seeing flesh and blood as my lucky responsibility and that I do have the means to make another feel seen, loved and important. Abundance is knowing without a doubt that generosity is integral not only for others who are hurting and lacking, but also for my well-being.