The God I cannot fathom

February 5, 2021 — Leave a comment

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine, according to his power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Ephesians 3:20-21

I need this today because I feel like I can’t fully imagine a hopeful and bright possibility. I need this today because I feel like I’ve asked for the same things over and over again and the answer has not been the resounding yes that makes me feel like things will be okay. I need this today because I need a reality and a truth and a God who can imagine and do more than my mind, heart and soul can fathom.

On the days when I want to give up, may I come back to this God who has endurance and perseverance that I can’t fathom.

On the days when I feel so inadequate and want to sneak into a cave to hide, may I come back to this God who has the patience and kindness that I can’t fathom.

On the days when I feel like hope is too scary, may I come back to this God who hopes hundredfold on my behalf.

On the days when I feel too exhausted to seek out this God, may God come to me with a strength and presence I cannot deny.

Prayer to Expand Love

February 4, 2021 — Leave a comment

I ask you, therefore, not to be discouraged because of my sufferings for you, which are your glory. For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, to know this love that surpasses knowledge — that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Ephesians 3:13-19

This, too, is my prayer for that. First, that you will know that God is with you, for you, in you, and that you know this by faith, a faith that surpasses understanding, circumstances and feeling. Second, once you trust this truth that God is with you, for you and in you, you can feel the presence of love and the Spirit establishing and making home. Here, you never feel alone. Even when you feel stuck or stagnant, you can trust that each moment the Spirit is spreading more of their presence and roots in you, with bloom on the horizon. And finally, as you become firm in this truth that God is with you, for you, and in you, shining through you, marking you, renewing you, those around you can see your expansion of love. I pray your expansion of love spills out and shines through so that those around you can sense with more certainty and wonder God’s presence. May you become so full of God’s love and presence that the boundaries between you and not you blur, so that love permeates throughout. This is my prayer for you. This love expansion is not a muscling or doing; it stems from a belief that God is with you, for you and in you. Your love will expand if you allow for your surrender to God’s love. Surrendering to God’s love is scary and requires courage. I pray courage for you.

Living like it’s a Gift of Grace

February 3, 2021 — Leave a comment

I became a servant of this gospel by the gift of God’s grace given me through the working of his power. Although I am less than the least of all the Lord’s people, this grace was given me: to preach to the Gentiles the boundless riches of Christ, and to make plain to everyone the administration of this mystery, which for ages past was kept hidden in God, who created all things. His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms, according to his eternal purpose that he accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord. In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.

Ephesians 3:7-12

No matter how high and powerful you are, wherever you are, you serve something or someone. What philosophy, priority or perspective do you live by? Who do you seek to please? Where or from whom do you derive your power and purpose? What do you get to do which feels like a gift of grace?

I take many aspects of my life for granted, from being able to live in my city to pursue my dream career to being able to laugh fully. The former takes a grasp of hopes and dreams and the latter derives from exercising my diaphragm muscle. These things are not givens for everyone — the mindset of pursuing something that is brave and fulfilling, and the space and ability to enjoy, play and be silly. These are gifts I have received by grace because of my ancestors’ hard work and because of God’s divine provisions. I also don’t think there is a final arrival for these gifts; I will get to expand and grow until the end of my days.

I encourage you to press into the thing that you get to do that expands you, that reminds you of God’s freedom and confidence in you. I encourage you to serve the good news of freedom, unity and wholeness and see where it takes you, who it leads you to and how it manifests. I encourage you to lead by serving a purpose greater than yourself. I pray that you can live into the thing that makes you think in each moment, wow! woah! this is all a gift!

The Revolution of Unity

February 2, 2021 — Leave a comment

Surely you have heard about the administration of God’s grace that was given to me for you, that is, the mystery made known to me by revelation, as I have already written briefly. In reading this, then, you will be able to understand my insight into the mystery of Christ, which was not made known to people in other generations as it has now been revealed by the Spirit to God’s holy apostles and prophets. This mystery is that through the gospel the Gentiles are heirs together with Israel, members together of one body, and sharers together in the promise in Christ Jesus

Ephesians 3:2-6

What is it about unity and togetherness that it is so revolutionary and radical? A whole new faith (the gospel of Jesus) was needed to complete the story of Yahweh, to bring Gentiles and Jews together. Today people still protest and march for unity and call for a reality of oneness.

The concept of separation and unity go all the way back to the beginning, to the Garden of Eden — humanity was kicked out of paradise and separated from God and disconnected from their created purposes. There is a natural proclivity for us to group and separate — find our tribe, stick with our own, us vs. them. On the healthier side of the spectrum reasons might be safety and solidarity. On the darker side of the spectrum the reasons we group and separate might include hierarchy, white supremacy, justification for oppressive means.

It is radical and new to see another as part of the same body. It is revolutionary to see unity as the goal and that we all share the same promise of God. This reality of unity is immediately accessible and also a work in progress to live into. By the Spirit of God we can trust that there already is a desire in us for connection and togetherness, and by that same Spirit we must keep growing our ability to see every person as our own. We all share in the same promise; the sooner we recognize, embrace and work towards that, the more revolutionary your life will be.

Please Welcome…

February 1, 2021 — Leave a comment

For this reason I, Paul, the prisoner of Christ Jesus for the sake of your Gentiles —

Ephesians 3:1

And next we have joining us from [origin place], a [identity] who has [what obstacles they’ve overcome], [things they’ve accomplished] and [the rest of the reasons why this person is special.] Please welcome to the stage…

Ephesians 1 and 2 were Paul’s introduction.

How do people intro you? How do you intro yourself? In this world, we list off our credentials, our achievements, our education background and our LinkedIn network. The introduction gives people all the evidence that we are worth being heard and we are worth your time. The introduction gets people amped on how we can potentially change their lives with this encounter with us. The introduction is key to making the person introduced extraordinary and separate, while the rest of us lay folks hold onto that glimmer of hope that we, too, can traverse into that next tier of space.

There are other areas in the Bible were Paul does do exactly these things. He lists off how he’s extraordinary, smart, admired, qualified, and so forth. He takes a different approach here. Instead he uses Ephesians 1 and 2 to talk about us and share all the ways that he and we are really the same, and that this next part is only going to make sense and work if we believe in that unity and community. Ephesians 1 and 2 were treasure troves full of our past, our future, our identity and our relationship to self, each other and God.

How can we take this and revamp how we enter new spaces and new relationships? Instead of looking for all the proof that we deserve to be in this new space and new relationship, simply take that as reality. You deserve to be there. You deserve to be here. Instead can we look for evidence of how we, the people right in front of us and this space we are currently occupying, share the same heartbeat, heartache and hope. How can this relationship, this space and this time teach you more about our shared humanity — needs & desires? We are not so different; we just have different times to speak.

Growing Together, Separately

January 29, 2021 — Leave a comment

Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.

Ephesians 2:19-22

Together we are a building and individually we are a dwelling. We are growing together to create one unified holy temple, and we are growing together, separately in our own specific circumstances, environments and callings. When we feel alone, how can we find comfort knowing that everyone around us is also on a journey? When we feel lost in the collective, how can we find power in knowing our growth and calling is unique?

There is a beauty and a frustration with God’s design — it feels inclusive and encompassing while being too big for our minds to grasp. Here and not yet. Together and separate. Fellow citizens and family. We don’t need to fully understand every aspect and have control over every detail. Can we trust that the sides we don’t see, are also being looked after by God and are being built? Can we trust that we are being looked after and provided for as well? In every moment, a focus leaning more inwards or one leaning more outwards can pull us back to center. In this moment, what will help you stand taller? Coming back to your growth or remembering we are growing together, or both? You have access to all of it.

Breaking down the Wall

January 28, 2021 — Leave a comment

For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of two, thus making peace, and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit.

Ephesians 2:14-18

What is the dividing wall of hostility made of? The law with its commands and regulations. Where is the hostility destroyed? On the cross. The dividing wall of hostility isn’t just between us and God; it is here amongst humans. Jesus’ demonstration of love on the cross bridges the gap between us and God, and it should also reconnect us humans. Because of Jesus we have one Spirit. We are linked. We are interdependent. We no longer need to identify ourselves by our specific commands and regulations that separate rather than stabilize. Instead we are marked by this same sacrificial love, whether we actively believe it or not. Jesus’ love is for everyone, near and far, aware or yet to believe. For those of us who claim Jesus, we should be the best examples of the unity and reconciliation. We should not seek to separate what has already been brought together. We should not reemphasize commands and regulations when, we, of all people know that it is now the Spirit that we live with.

Can anyone spot you in the crowd if you weren’t allowed to blatantly identify as someone who believes in Jesus’ powerful reconciliation and love? Can people sense your truest belief that humanity is one? Can people see your active and tangible work to break down the wall of hostility and build others up in love and unity? Asking for a friend.

The Balance tips towards the Inevitable

January 27, 2021 — Leave a comment

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Therefore, remember that formerly you who are Gentiles by birth and called ‘uncircumcised’ by those who call themselves ‘the circumcision’ (which is done in the body by human hands) — remember that at that time you were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far way have been brought near by the blood of Christ

Ephesians 2:10-13

Living by faith and living in God is living in the gap of remembering where we come from and believing where we are going. Each side balances the journey so we don’t fall too deep into despair or get sucked into naive hope. Our hope and our impact in this world are destined. They are inevitable. We were created to make impact, to demonstrate beauty, to be the light in this world. The past and the realness of disconnection and separation that we have experienced, even currently experiencing, keep us grounded and keep us rooted in the why that is bigger than our individual self. This why is rooted in our ancestry, our upbringing, our experiences, our pains and heartaches and gives each of us a specific calling and community. We are drawn to different causes, to reconcile certain relationships, to bring healing to specific aspects of society.

But if we don’t also hold onto the inevitability of our good words and of our beautiful inherent nature — God’s handiwork — we might cave into despair when we are discouraged, sink into self-hatred when we are rejected or give up when we are momentarily disappointed. If today, right now, this moment, you know without a doubt your calling has been prepared, and it is beautiful, unshakeable and about to explode out for all to be affected, what would you do differently? How would you speak to yourself differently? How would you see the successes around you differently? How would you engage with others? How can you ease your mind, soul, heart and body and keep on your path, one step and one breath at a time?

Your Riches

January 26, 2021 — Leave a comment

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions — it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith–and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God — not by works, so that no one can boast.

Ephesians 2:4-9

What comes to mind for you when I say rich, incomparable riches? A West Village Townhouse? Real Housewives of Orange County? Beyonce?

Mercy? Grace? Kindness?

Mercy, grace and kindness are the only wells that keep overflowing and never run out. They are the investments that grow exponentially and are not swayed by the swings of the market. They live above, beyond, transform circumstances. To be rich in mercy demands you know your own worth and see another with hope. To be rich in grace means you know your own overflow and want to invite another into that hope. To be rich in kindness is to see your worth is inextricably linked up to another’s worth.

I pray we are rich in mercy, grace and kindness — that we first experience those gifts from God and know we are now owners of those riches. Be generous and share that mercy, grace and kindness. It’ll come back tenfold.

Living by Flesh

January 25, 2021 — Leave a comment

As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath.

Ephesians 2:1-2

Building on Ephesians 1, we have to keep in mind God’s purpose: unity of heaven and Earth, unity of Jesus and the church, unity of head and body. This sense of connection and alignment must be the guide for parts of the Bible that mention words like flesh and body. The trap is to create a separation — flesh is bad and mind is good — a binary way of understanding that is engrained in humanity. With this in mind, I can see the above passage with more softness and compassion.

Zooming in on…to follow the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air…gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. To follow the ways of this world is to not live from a place of connection and unity where we tend to forget our purpose and how redemption. To follow the ruler of the kingdom of the air is to live creating fleeting results. And the mention of flesh here is a flesh that is again, disconnected with that divine hope and reality. That flesh and its desires and thoughts do not lead to unity and connection.

This passage is not to neglect our flesh and its desires. This reductive way of understanding God’s word has created so much harm. This is how shame and stigma have over and over again penetrate the church. This is why overarching rules and structures created from fear, white supremacy and patriarchy have been upheld, while faithful moment to moment living where each human has their agency is tossed aside. God does not want us to neglect our flesh and its desires. He gave us flesh, a living and breathing part of us, as an extension of the divine on earth and as a landscape to demonstrate unity and connection. It is how we use the flesh and why and for what reasons. This is where its gratification can do more harm than health. All of us chose this way of living once upon a time, and some of us now, simply have the awareness that there is another way.