Exodus 10-12; Psalm 20

I may never fully understand how God could kill all the firstborn of Egypt. How could he murder all those people, regardless of they were evil or not? How could he cause such sorrow and suffering? Is this how vindication and justice look — unfair and cruel? How do I reconcile the God I believe to hold (kind, forgiving, gracious, patient) with this God who kills children and adult? It’s a sign that calls people to repentance. Is that enough? So we sacrifice a few for the many? Was there no other option? Hm. Maybe this was the only option to free the oppressed? Revenge on the oppressors’ children? I don’t know. It’s part like this in the Bible that make my head hurt and I want to discard God’s actions. If he is good, how can this section be good as well? Someone help me understand!

Of course this all points to Jesus, God’s firstborn. He allows for him to die for the sake of us all. His sacrifice covers any judgment we might have received from God. This aspect of Jesus also seems grueling and hard for me. How can I take from this sacrificial love? Is it literal? Yea… But I think Jesus fulfills more than a blood sacrifice so God no longer condemns us to hell — it’s rather the depths and lengths that God would go to remind us of his love. Kill his son? Hold to his holiness while bridging us imperfect to him? Jesus both holy and able to be with the imperfect. May we be like that!! May whatever we touch also turn good and feel a surge of power and life!