devotional

Conscience-stricken Action

October 6, 2020 — Leave a comment

After Saul returning from pursuing the Philistines, he was told, ‘David is in the Desert of En Gedi.’ So Saul took three thousand able young men from all Israel and set out to look for David and his men near the Crags of the Wild Goats. He came to the sheep pens along the way; a cave was there, and Saul went in to relieve himself. David and his men were far back in the cave. Then men said, ‘This is the day the Lord spoke of when he said to you, ‘I will give your enemy into your hands for you to deal with as you wish.’ Then David crept up unnoticed and cut off a corner of Saul’s robe. Afterward, David was conscience-stricken for having cut off a corner of his robe. He said to his men, ‘The Lord forbid that I should do such a thing to my master, the Lord’s anointed, or lay my hand on him; for he is the anointed of the Lord.’ With these words David sharply rebuked his men and did not allow them to attack Saul. And Saul left the cave and went his way. Then David went out of the cave and called out to Saul, ‘My lord the king!’ When Saul looked behind him, David bowed down and prostrated himself with his face to the ground.

1 Samuel 24:1-8

What does it take for David to let Saul go even though if the places were reversed, David would probably be dead? How does David have this level of faith and compassion, the faith that Saul might receive him after this pardon and the compassion to not kill the person who hates him? Even with Saul’s aggression and hate, David never fell into that bitterness, spite and violence. How did he do that?

David was conscience-stricken. He was so aware of his body and how the Spirit was moving within him. He responded well to what was going on in his guts. David also never lost sight of Saul’s humanity. It takes stripping another’s humanity to enact heartless violence and pain. David still saw Saul as his master and as God’s anointed. David saw Saul better than Saul saw himself. David wasn’t threatened by Saul’s identity and that gave him the trust and love to hold space and give chance to Saul.

How can we hold onto our own identity and humanity while holding space for another’s, especially when the other doesn’t recognize our humanity? How can we extend compassion especially to those who hate us? How can we not lose the heart and compassion and the awareness of the Spirit that is aching within us? How can we assume the absolute best for those who don’t do the same for us? It is scary. It doesn’t make sense in this world. It didn’t make sense in this scene. But this kind of radical, lack of tit-and-tat, intentional forgiveness and unworldly humility change this harden landscape.

Character over circumstance

October 6, 2020 — Leave a comment

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Romans 5:1-5

Circumstances and waves are forever. They will surround us. They will try to frustrate us. They will tempt us to be unkind and to act in ways that divide us rather than bring us together. Circumstances and things outside of our control are givens. They will want our attention. They will want us to give in and be anxious about the future or ashamed of our past. Circumstances and events will try to pull us away from the core that matters.

What grounds us and centers us are the things mentioned here: perseverance, character and hope. If we can filter out circumstances and unexpected waves through these pillars, we’ll realize that taking a breath before responding is always helpful. We’ll see that it’s harder to hold to hope and persevere in character, but the results lead to much better sleep. Come back to character. Come back to the love that is in our hearts that is made possible through the Holy Spirit. Come back to not having to justify yourself. Come back to immutable worth. Come back to the truth that if you can persevere through unwanted circumstances with character, your hope for the world, for others and for yourself feel way more tangible.

Fulfillment

October 3, 2020 — Leave a comment

And [Hannah] made a vow, saying, ‘Lord Almighty, if you will only look at your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.’

1 Samuel 1:11

Why would Hannah want something so much only to give it back to God? What’s this immense desire coupled with outrageous promise of surrender? How can one want so much and also keep that want connected to the larger picture?

There is a faith, love and trust required to hold something you love loosely. Each moment is precious. Each moment is meaningful. Because every moment might be the last moment of holding this thing so close. Hannah knew that whatever she received was from God and therefore belonged to God’s purposes. Hannah didn’t just want a son; she wanted a son who’s life was going to be magnificent. She wanted her dreams fulfilled while the world was also impacted by her blessing. She knew that her blessing was to exist to be shared.

So what if it’s not that our desires and wants are too big, but actually not big enough? What if we dream so big it is inevitable that it would require faith and love to endure? What do you want that is so big that it will not only impact you but call into power and presence the purposes of God? Can we dream so so so out of this world that it would feel like God made it happen? Can we dream so big that it would require our priorities and focus to shift towards faith?

Delight & Desire

October 2, 2020 — Leave a comment

Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong; for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away.
Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this; He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret — it leads only to evil.
For those who are evil will be destroyed, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.

Psalm 37:1-9

There is a symbiotic relationship between delighting in the Lord and fulfilling the desires of your heart. They need each other to fulfill each other. To delight in the Lord is to enjoy, relish and receive with out-of-this-world wonder. To delight in the Lord is to enjoy the presence of God, find comforting refuge in God and hear the soundtrack of your immutable worth. When you delight in something, you’re focused and you’re rooted. When you delight in something, you’re not worried about what others are getting or how others are enjoying life. You are experiencing life so fully in your moment you need not compare yourself to others. And when you delight in the Lord in this wild and unabashed way, your heart grows more faithful and hopeful. Your heart wishes. Your appetite grows. Your idea of possibility seep into every corner of the room. You dare to reach for the seemingly impossible. You dare to imagine that things will indeed work out. The desires of your heart are not ephemeral; they actually impact how you see the world and your place in it.

And I believe, when you are so filled with this joy, wonder and truth of your worth, your desires will align accordingly. Your desires won’t be to seek joy, seek wonder, seek power, seek love: they already are. Your desires are bigger and braver. Your desires are to live out that joy, live out that wonder and live out a life where you know, without a doubt, you are beautiful, loved and worthy. If all of us can live from a place of enough and fullness, how far can this universe expand outside of us and inside our hearts?

Four Best Friends

September 30, 2020 — Leave a comment

A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. They gathered in such large numbers that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. Some men came, bringing to him a paralyzed man, carried by four of them. Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus by digging through it and then lowered the mat the man was lying on. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralyzed man, ‘Son, your sins are forgiven.’

Mark 2:1-5

These four men, dug a hole on the roof, to interrupt Jesus so that their friend might be healed. Can you imagine the scene? The place is crowded, overflowing to the brim, (very not covid-19 friendly). This paralyzed dude and his friends do the most insane to drop dead center into the party. People who were waiting patiently outside might have been annoyed. People who waited for hours and did get a front row seat might think it’s unfair. Jesus saw this as faith. The man wasn’t going to wait. He saw the opportunity to be healed and be seen by God and he jumped even if it meant acting a fool or making others around him mad. People might have judged him for cutting corners but he was desperate. His life was already at such a low that what was getting a little lower. His faith — his throwing himself into the deep — gave him a new life, one that was upright and moving.

And let’s not forget the four men who did the work on behalf of their friend. One, they stuck by their paralyzed friend. Do you have people who stick by you when you think you are useless? Do you have people who stand by you even if it could ruin their reputation? Two, they did work so that their friend could get healed. Do you have people who toil with you so that you can reap the benefits? Do you have friends that care for your well-being just as much as they care for their own? Finally, they were part of this healing story. Do you have friends who are part of your healing journey? Have you invited people into your pain, your desires, your wins and your future? It doesn’t have to be a gang of people: four friends is plenty. Four friends can lift you up and lower you down gently. Four friends can hold you accountable and make sure you are not forgotten.

A surrendering Want

September 28, 2020 — Leave a comment

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, ‘Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself?’ Tell her to help me!’

‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed — or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’

Luke 10:38-42

Here I am at this passage again, which I think is the beauty of God’s living Word. Each read can be fresh or can be a continuation of a past revelation. Today I want to discuss how Mary and Martha’s desire for the Lord differ. Martha loved and cared for God and tried to do the most to manifest that inward desire. However I think her intense outward doing distracted from her heart desire. She got so wrapped up in the result of what she could do for Jesus that it sort of closed her off to how else she can exist before God.

Mary on the other way, surrendered herself at the feet of Jesus. She was obvious with where her attention was directed. She was obvious with her love and desire for nearness. She was consumed by Jesus’ presence. She showed her want with a sort of vulnerability and surrender that can feel offensive in a world that requires us to mask our wants. We can want, but we also need to be doing and proving. We can want, but you need to deserve it. Mary just went with her desire and stilled herself before what she thought fill her up the most.

Let’s have permission to be vulnerable with our desires. Let us be so vulnerable there’s a risk that people will think it’s kind of absurd. What would it take to remove a layer of armor around our heart desires?

End of Week Revelations

September 28, 2020 — Leave a comment
  • You’re allowed to want. What if want is wrapped up in worship to God and faith in God?
  • You have permission to be in journey and in exploration. On this side of heaven, we are always in process and hopefully in step with progress.
  • It’s vulnerable to show your extreme joy because it’s a kind of release that holds so much hope and love. In this world those expressions are brave and necessary.
  • Be honest with your friends. Be in community to spur each other on, to give the needed compliments and YOU ARE THE PRIZE reminders. Life doesn’t work as well solo, so be honest and vulnerable with your tribe.
  • Remind yourself: I am beautiful. I am enough. I am exactly where I am supposed to be. These are the truths. When you’re already living in these truths, God can then build on them and give you even more truths.
  • Embrace your fears/desires. Can you see the desire under the fear? Can you remove the negative voices and judgment that are under the desire? Be gentle with the fear because it’s only protecting your desire.

Work to Worship

September 25, 2020 — Leave a comment

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, ‘Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself?’ Tell her to help me!’

‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed — or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’

Luke 10:38-42

Martha’s intentions are in the right place. Maybe her house was messy and she’s being a damn good host. She wanted to make her home hospitable for Jesus. Maybe she was prepping for all the other people who might come. She wanted to make sure everything was prepared so everyone felt comfortable. Someone needed to be on top of things! That someone was her! She was so focused on making the Lord and the place feel at home, she wasn’t at home herself.

What if God doesn’t need us to make him feel at home? What if he’s already at home and if we draw near, and that completes his welcome? What if he’s into the mess, and moreover, into inviting others into your mess? That’s our humanity, no? That’s what God needs from us: to show up and soak in his love when his presence is there. You will have so much more time to do things when he’s sent you out.

Don’t forget the why and who in the midst of your work. Then it becomes like work instead of worship. When you are feeling overwhelmed and anxious, how does it affect how you see other people’s anxiety or peace? Do you question why they are not equally anxious? How does another’s worship affect you? Does it make you bitter? Does it make you draw near? These are trying times and there is a lot of grief and anger in the air. There is a lot of work to be done. Let’s approach our work not from a place of anxiety but from a place of surrender. You’re enough. Your presence is enough. Feel that power and then your next steps will appear.

Rest

September 24, 2020 — Leave a comment

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.

Genesis 2:2-3

When God sensed the completion of his work, he rested. He rested from the work of creating and called that day of rest, holy. What if you don’t sense the completion? What if the work you’re doing seems unfinished? Where does rest belong in the unfinished business of earth?

Our work on earth to dismantle systems of oppression continues. Our fight to tear down fascism, racism, sexism, ageism, I feel exhausted, simply trying to name it all. In a world where evil lurks in every corner, our work to battle and reclaim seems never-ending. How can this declaration of rest (which churches love preaching) fit in to our continual unfinished work? How do we not use the idea of self-care simply as an excuse to stop doing the work we are called to do as ambassadors of light?

If I draw back on the trajectory of Genesis 1, God took things in stride and developed his creation over time. He created light on day 1 and created man on day 6. Each day in a sense had its own creative purpose and goal. After the daily accomplishment, God waited until the next day to layer on. Each “day” came to a completion, followed by a “daily” rest. That “week” came to a creation completion, followed by a “weekly” rest.

On this side of heaven, we will remain unfinished and in process/progress. However, it doesn’t mean the idea of completion doesn’t apply. Little c, completion is correlated with the every day task at hand. Give each day the small steps to live by and accomplish, and with that, give each day the appropriate rest to enjoy following through. It will take a lifetime to dismantle oppression and evils, but the daily work to grow your heart, create something good and take responsibility for what God has entrusted deserve moments of rest. In these moments of rest acknowledge that God is good and evil will not prevail.

The Senselessness of Suffering

September 23, 2020 — Leave a comment

Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with [Jesus] to be executed. When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals – one on his right, the other on his left. Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.’ And they divided up his clothes by casting lots. The people stood watching, and the rulers even sneered at him. They said, ‘He saved others; let him save himself if he is God’s Messiah, the Chosen One.’

Luke 23:32-35

At the peak of Jesus’ exposure and humiliation, he still had compassion for his persecutors. Jesus was stripped and mocked, yet his response was care and compassion. How is this possible? How was he able to hold onto his humanity while everyone around him was trying to strip it away?

There is a strength and power that none of us will ever be able to fathom. This was God in flesh who held both vulnerability and empathy in each hand, in all situations. Jesus experienced pain after pain before he endured this finale: rejection from friends, betrayal by those closest to him, poverty, pressure, the inability to save everyone. He surrendered so fully into his purpose and love for the people, that his present pain was also wrapped into the future renewal.

How do we keep our hearts open and tender especially in the midst of suffering? How do we still pursue the goodness of others even as we are being destroyed? Your pain may not make sense; when does pain ever make sense and feel fair? If we cannot make sense of the suffering, we could instead sow compassion and forgiveness because those do make sense. Compassion helps us see the thread of brokenness in all of humanity. Forgiveness helps us to stay vulnerable and open to renewed connection. These two may not take away your suffering, but they might help you find community and love in unexpected ways.