evil

Day 28: Unconscious coloring

January 13, 2019 — Leave a comment

Exodus 32-34; Psalm 28

I just listened to an interview between a NY times reporter and an Arizona sheriff who works in a border town. The sheriff is a nice, informed, Christian man who sees dead people in the woods, families trying to seek asylum and more daily. He is in support of Trump. He was dissenting how he heard Trump’s address, and he zoned in on what he thought mattered and everything else, while not 135% aligned, supported his argument. He didn’t seem bigoted. He really cared and he painted the immigration policies in our country with greater clarity and in need of reform. But we listened to the same address, and my ears are colored, as much as I want to think I’m not prejudiced and educated, and the moment I hear that prez’ voice my body cringes.

How colored are we when we read the Bible? Have we been desensitized to not see the ick of God and people in the OT? Do the killings not alarm us anymore? Or are they just stories we can skim, but then for other parts, we hold really tightly?

When we talk about this passage in Exodus (golden calf passages), do we forget that God wanted to kill all these people who created a calf? Did we forget that he did send the Levi’s into town to kill over 3000 men? Oh, but then we focus on God saying he’s a slow to anger and compassionate God. What the hell is going on here? Is this the God I worship? This God who loses it when he loses control over his people and needed Moses to calm him down. Is this the God that allowed Moses to kill the men? Goddamnit. Reading the Bible makes me question my faith more and more; if that doesn’t happen to you, you’re not reading carefully.

Lord help me not lose sight of who you are.

Day 21: How to read without discarding God

January 6, 2019 — Leave a comment

Exodus 13-15; Psalm 21

I don’t like this God of war. I’m not sure how to receive all that he does here. Unless, one I discard this story, which Bible people say you can’t. You can’t just pick and choose stories in the Bible because in essence you are creating the God that fits YOU. And how much can we really trust ourselves? There should be a level of discomfort when we make ourselves better, more in line with wholeness, goodness, compassion, kindness, all the above that God is from the beginning. So this God of war and God who hardens the Egyptians are really messing with me. I either have to take this story or throw away the God. Can I interpret this story in light of God’s character? A God of war that fits into a God of compassion… Can this tale be a metaphor? Does it remind us how prisons and past lifestyles grip us and don’t want to let us go? Does it tell us to keep signs of how God has freed us? What have we been freed from? What’s a sign of that, that we can bring up time and time again so we don’t lose sight of that redemptive God? Does it also show us how quickly we forget all that God has done for us? How quickly we see the power of God and go back to complaining about the little things and doubting?

Seeing this more as a metaphor of God’s power and love instead of taking it so literally help me make sense of it. It still doesn’t sit 100% well with me. Is that because the wars and revenge of my current world really suck? I’m part of the oppressive nation. In my current world, we are the Egyptians.

Day 11: Reality and Redemption together

December 27, 2018 — Leave a comment

Genesis 35-37; Psalm 11

When good arises from bad, people often bring up, what Joseph says: what man intended for bad, God used for good. This is by no means a justification to do bad and condone evil. In the in-between between the evil deed and the redemption ending, we need to uphold how terrible is the former. We should not look at suffering, injustice, cruelty, poor systemic structures, natural disasters, offenses, inhuman relational acts, and lessen their sting by saying well good will come from this, or God has a purpose for this. NO that is missing the point. It’s too separate things and until we reach the other side of redemption, we should not so callously ignore the pain that is often our reality. God is redemptive but until we are there and can look back with healing and forgiveness, those who were hurt can breathe and know God has been with them this whole time, we must stay in this tension of the here and not yet: Evil is the reality and God’s hope exists. How do we straddle acceptance of the present with a confidence of a future hope? How can a future hope help us through a tough present without rose-color-coating the now? How can we be fully here with a mind that holds to a one day God redeems all?

Sides:

1. Reuben is mentioned specifically twice. He sleeps with his fathers’ concubines. Boooo! He tells his brothers not to kill Joseph but to leave him in a well. Eh. What an example of the complicated spectrum of human being?

2. God tests the righteous. Can we replace tests with refines, develops, grows, helps reflect? He tests because he sees our openness to receive and shift. So when you’re being tested, what good quality is God saying you have but merely needs to be kneaded out to the surface?

Day 4: The birth of the prosperity gospel

December 20, 2018 — Leave a comment

Genesis 12-15, Psalm 4

I used to praise Abraham for leaving everything behind and going because God said go, but let’s be real — God promised him BLESSINGS and he also took ALL his possessions with him. He took his comforts and continued forth because of promised additional comforts. Prosperity gospel much? And then how selfish and patriarchal for Abraham to allow his wife to be raped for his own safety? He’s disgusting. How many of us are like him? We disguise our hoarding and desire for riches with faith in God. We sacrifice the wellbeing of those around us for the sake of protecting our riches. This smells like American Christianity. Then lest we forget what else God also promised Abraham: that his descendants will be sojourners and servants in a land not their own for 400 years. So please don’t be alarmed when your riches don’t pan out for you. Don’t get mad that this obstacles and challenges are also part of the plan. Maybe this hard part is the blessing as well. Why does God include these parts and choose people like Abraham? Who knows! He chooses imperfect, selfish people not because of anything they have done but because God will work. So don’t be ALL HONORED if you’re chosen to bring forth God’s plan; it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with God’s bigger plan.

God help me to trust you even when/if I am in those 400 years of slavery, but know that because of Jesus no bondage on earth is truer than the freedom of being Whole and 100% in Christ. Please remove the prosperity gospel from my heart. Help me to trust that all this is part of your plan of redemption.