goals

CBG: Remind

April 24, 2020 — Leave a comment

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor, he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of prison to those who are bound, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion — to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified. They shall build up the ancient ruins; they shall raise up the former devastation; they shall repair the ruined cities, the devastations of many generations.

Isaiah 61:1-4

We do not need to strive and work on perspective. We need to be reminded of our purpose, our power and our priesthood. We do not dismiss our feelings and our exhaustion. In the midst of all that, we remember our calling. It is through your feelings and your exhaustion, that the power of your calling lifts your head slightly and helps you take another courageous step. We do not need to put things in perspective nor think of the “bigger picture” or “how things will work out…eventually.” That type of pulling ourselves up and reworking our minds by our own strength can feel disingenuous, forced and lead to guilt if we “fail” What we need is a reminder that we have already been anointed and NO ONE, NOTHING can take that stamp of worth away. You, are not made for small things. You, are not created for the trite and trivial. You, were created for transformation and restoration. You, right where you are now, have all the power and strength, to be the reflection of God. Now this reminder is scary. This kind of reminder can shed the unnecessary and set our hearts straight.

Prayer: God remind me of who you are and who I am. Help my heartbreak point in the direction of transformative justice. Help my sadness point to communal comfort. Help my fears point to your former and forever abundances and provision.

Creative: Read these verses over yourself. Feel it. Embrace it. Where does it refresh your body? Your heart? Your mind.

Brave: What part of this scripture scares you? Can you step in?

Generous: What part of this scripture excites you? Can you live in?

a goal before the new year

December 16, 2018 — Leave a comment

…because why wait for a calendar to start a new goal. I’m tired of waiting and I’m tired of asking for permission. I’m over trying to get it right and having the perfect vision/tag line/proposal before I do something. These are the things I know and that’s why I am choosing to do this new 365 challenge. I’m going to read God’s word every day and write a little something about it. I did this this past August and it was the hardest and most spectacular. It forced me to meditate on God’s word and how it really affects me and those I love and those I want to love better. I didn’t grow up in the church. I didn’t go to Bible college. I don’t know where I stand theologically on every single damn topic, and if there’s a person out there who “has the answer to everything,” you’re wrong; you’re not God. God allows for mystery and questioning, for expansion and discovery, for curiosity and for change. This year has been a rollercoaster in my faith. Some days I love Jesus and want to tell everyone about him and I really do think that saving myself for marriage is like the DUH thing to do because Jesus makes it worth it. Other days I want to say fuck Jesus because God is in everything and that is so damn unfair that gross selfish comfortable racist homophobic bigoted people “will go to heaven” and others don’t. It’s stupid. Most days I’m trying to love God and trying to love others, and I’m failing at both. Most days I’m failing, yet I know I’m loved and those days bring me back to the ground. I recognize that when I’m focusing on my circumstances and instead of my steady unchangeable worth, I become an awful presence to be around. I’m my most steady unchangeable worth when I’m in conversation with God. He/she reminds me evil does not have the last word and that love and hope prevail. If I doubt that, I can look at the cross. So for my sake and for those around me, I want to be a presence that empowers those around me with love, hope and redemption. God please speak to me in a way that makes me listen and know? Thanks non-binary beyond-my-comprehension God.