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Delight & Desire

October 2, 2020 — Leave a comment

Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong; for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away.
Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this; He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret — it leads only to evil.
For those who are evil will be destroyed, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.

Psalm 37:1-9

There is a symbiotic relationship between delighting in the Lord and fulfilling the desires of your heart. They need each other to fulfill each other. To delight in the Lord is to enjoy, relish and receive with out-of-this-world wonder. To delight in the Lord is to enjoy the presence of God, find comforting refuge in God and hear the soundtrack of your immutable worth. When you delight in something, you’re focused and you’re rooted. When you delight in something, you’re not worried about what others are getting or how others are enjoying life. You are experiencing life so fully in your moment you need not compare yourself to others. And when you delight in the Lord in this wild and unabashed way, your heart grows more faithful and hopeful. Your heart wishes. Your appetite grows. Your idea of possibility seep into every corner of the room. You dare to reach for the seemingly impossible. You dare to imagine that things will indeed work out. The desires of your heart are not ephemeral; they actually impact how you see the world and your place in it.

And I believe, when you are so filled with this joy, wonder and truth of your worth, your desires will align accordingly. Your desires won’t be to seek joy, seek wonder, seek power, seek love: they already are. Your desires are bigger and braver. Your desires are to live out that joy, live out that wonder and live out a life where you know, without a doubt, you are beautiful, loved and worthy. If all of us can live from a place of enough and fullness, how far can this universe expand outside of us and inside our hearts?

The Senselessness of Suffering

September 23, 2020 — Leave a comment

Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with [Jesus] to be executed. When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals – one on his right, the other on his left. Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.’ And they divided up his clothes by casting lots. The people stood watching, and the rulers even sneered at him. They said, ‘He saved others; let him save himself if he is God’s Messiah, the Chosen One.’

Luke 23:32-35

At the peak of Jesus’ exposure and humiliation, he still had compassion for his persecutors. Jesus was stripped and mocked, yet his response was care and compassion. How is this possible? How was he able to hold onto his humanity while everyone around him was trying to strip it away?

There is a strength and power that none of us will ever be able to fathom. This was God in flesh who held both vulnerability and empathy in each hand, in all situations. Jesus experienced pain after pain before he endured this finale: rejection from friends, betrayal by those closest to him, poverty, pressure, the inability to save everyone. He surrendered so fully into his purpose and love for the people, that his present pain was also wrapped into the future renewal.

How do we keep our hearts open and tender especially in the midst of suffering? How do we still pursue the goodness of others even as we are being destroyed? Your pain may not make sense; when does pain ever make sense and feel fair? If we cannot make sense of the suffering, we could instead sow compassion and forgiveness because those do make sense. Compassion helps us see the thread of brokenness in all of humanity. Forgiveness helps us to stay vulnerable and open to renewed connection. These two may not take away your suffering, but they might help you find community and love in unexpected ways.

Day 50: Gratitude upwards

February 4, 2019 — Leave a comment

Numbers 31-32; Psalm 50

To offer our thanksgiving as sacrifice is to give gratitude away freely. Are there times we withhold thanks? What is sacrifice? Sacrifice is to give something up that could benefit another while subtracting from you. When can giving gratitude and thanksgiving benefit another while taking from yourself? How does it benefit God while lessening ourselves?

In offering thanks, we acknowledge the reason for the good or blessing isn’t us, it’s God. He is the reason for our provision. He is the reason we are alive. He is the reason we have hope and joy in this world. It is not our own doing. We cannot take credit. That humbles us. That puts us in our place. That helps us to stay low and not get a big head. God doesn’t need our material sacrifices or meaningless thanks; he wants us to acknowledge that he is the originator of our lives and our wellbeing.

Day 12: Success despite circumstances

December 28, 2018 — Leave a comment

Genesis 38-40; Psalm 12

The Lord is with Joseph so he was successful. The Spirit is with me so I will find favor and be successful. How do I define success? How do I define find favor? In Joseph’s case, he was still in bondage, tempted daily, at the mercy of his circumstances and helped those around him be successful. But in all circumstances, he walked with integrity and walked in his giftings. Is being successful, essentially having the freedom to act in spite of circumstances? Is success a grounded rooted patience? We are obsessed with success, but what’s the kind of success we should strive for that helps us stay with integrity and faith? What kind of success attracts our enemies? What kind of character grounds that success? I want to be this kind of success.

God guard my tongue and my words. Words can build up or words can tear down and help me to do more the former and ask for forgiveness whenever I do the latter. Help me to take a breath before I want to jump into negative or hurtful talk, because out of my heart the mouth speaks, and I want to be aware and have control when my heart is deviating and acting UP.