heartbreak

Dare you to Hope

October 4, 2020 — Leave a comment

Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about your clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you — you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:25-34

There is a comfort and a familiarity with worrying. There is an acceptance to stress, especially at a time like now. There might even be an expectation to think about all the what if’s and have nots because that aligns with the vibe of the world. I have experienced the guilt of enjoying a moment, of receiving a generous gift, of having a genuine beautiful explosive moment during times of collective sorrow & grief. It feels selfish. It feels inappropriate. It feels like I’m living in a bubble, under a rock and oblivious to how the world is going.

Here’s the truth: the world is hurting. The world has been hurting and the world will continue to hurt. And I pray that our heart will always align with that heartache which drives us to hope and to impact. I pray that the grief and sorrow of this world would propel us to make it better and to make ourselves better. So if this is the reality, can we allow ourselves to also find moments when we don’t have to worry and instead look up at the stars and have an explosive faith that reverberates, I will be okay. Things will be okay? Can we give ourselves permission to enjoy the lilies of the field? Can we give ourselves permission to hope SO BIG that it pushes out the anxiety and fears?

So my exhortation is beyond not worrying. I dare you to enjoy. I dare you to have faith that all things will work out for your good. I dare you to know with all your heart, you will be provided for, especially when it feels empty and lacking right now. I dare you to look at the stars and at the flowers and trust that God loves you even more than those. This is scary. This is vulnerable. To not let worry be our guide but instead to spark the faith and hope in each of us is radical and will make this hurting world a bit more joyful.

CBG: #16

April 5, 2020 — 1 Comment

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit. Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not lose heart. But we have renounced disgraceful, underhanded ways. We refuse to practice cunning or to tamper with God’s word, but by the open statement of truth we would commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God.

2 Corinthians 3:17 – 4:2

Our weekly rhythm of sabbath — to see all we have done and learned and to remember all we have engaged with, because who you are today is not the same as who you were last week. If we are honest, if we can be even a little bit open to the work of God, if we had ventured even a foot into vulnerability and faith, who we are today is closer to we were created to be. The process of sanctification seems unkind until you stop to see what it’s trying to teach you. You are a champ. You are a warrior. You’re in the work. Please give yourself a hug, a kiss, a tap for being brave, creative and generous.

  1. What moment(s) did you feel God’s presence, close and kind?
  2. What moment(s) did you actively push God away?
  3. What emotion has been your friend this week?
  4. Where was joy?
  5. Where was heartbreak?
  6. What is one thing you can bring to next week to step more into your power?

Love to hear your thoughts! xo

CBG: #8

March 28, 2020 — Leave a comment

How long, Lord? Because no one really knows how long this will take…weeks? months? Will you forget me forever? Literally feel alone How long will you hide your face from me? I get this is supposed to “bring us closer to you” and “reveal our humanity” and “you’re in control, and you’re good so, like, rest in that” but DUDE, can’t you just for once show up in a fireworks show so I know it’s you?! How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? Because I’m having some nasty AF thoughts and I’m jumping through all the emotions in a much quicker cycle than I normally do. How long will my enemy triumph over me? Like covid, and the damn president, and the irritating harmful ways people around me are trying to “fix” me and “give me solutions” because they don’t know how to wrestle with their inability to change and make me feel better Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Waiting. Literally not busy and available for your answer. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall. I don’t know. I’m not trying to win. I just really need your kindness and love and your overt intimacy to be here. I miss those days when I KNEW you were right next to me and speaking to me. I miss being in an environment witnessing firsthand your presence. But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. What else can I do? What else do I have? I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me. I’m alive. I’m breathing. I know it will work out. Eventually.

Psalm 13 (WITH MY LIZARD BRAIN WAY OF PRAYING)

Creative: Be kind to yourself.

Brave: Be kind to yourself.

Generous: Be kind to yourself.