Joseph

CBG: Fatherhood

June 22, 2020 — Leave a comment

Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband Joseph being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, ‘Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.’ All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken to the prophet:
‘Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel’
(which means God with us.) When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus.

Matthew 1:18-25

Joseph receives in a dream to marry Mary even though she’s suddenly with child that isn’t his doing. He does. Joseph later receives a dream to flee to Egypt with his family. He does. He then receives another vision to go back to Nazareth, and he does. The faith, the flexibility, the follow up — these are the marks of fatherhood. The lack of ego, the quickness to surrender plans for the sake of the family and the insane belief that he was part of something bigger than whatever he could conjure up — the marks of a good father.

To all the fathers out there that have surrendered plans, led with faith for the well-being of your family and cared for those vulnerable, thank you. To all the fathers that have been scared shitless, thank you. To all the fathers that have doubted and wanted to quietly get by and really didn’t know how, thank you. To all the fathers that got the spotlight when you didn’t ask for it, thank you.

Thank you — To all the fathers that were taken away from us too soon. To all the fathers that feel alone right now. To all the fathers who feel misunderstood. To all the fathers taking up the hardest task and privilege of fatherhood.

Rest. Celebrate. Commemorate.

CBG: #20

April 9, 2020 — Leave a comment

“I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. And now do not be distressed or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. For the famine has been in the land these two years, and there are yet five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvest. And God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant on earth, and to keep alive for you many survivors. So it was not you who sent me here, but God.”

Genesis 45:4-8

One summer night when I was in college, I drove 12 hours through the night from Annapolis, Maryland to Martha’s Vineyard to surprise my boyfriend. He was vacationing with his family and had mentioned several times in our phone calls that he wanted me to join them. It was a long drive through torrential rain. Thankfully very few cars were on the road and there is coffee, though shitty still coffee, at gas stations. When I finally arrived the next afternoon in MV, my boyfriend said he couldn’t come pick me up from the dock because he was playing golf with a mutual friend of ours. I. Lost. It. Imagine the whitest happiest place on earth and smack in the middle of that joy is a sobbing Asian girl. I did not give a f*ck who heard me, who saw me and where I was. I was so angry and hurt.

Today while I was journalling that memory rushed into my mind. It often does when I need an example of how I had a shit boyfriend. As I was reminiscing on that time, it hit me that I had crashed my boyfriend’s summer vacation. I had crashed his family’s — a family that did not allow us to sleep in the same room whenever I stayed over at their house — long standing vacation. I sprung all of me — dramatic, expectant, pouty — onto his quiet calm vacation. Um. Oh. Ooops. A revelation a decade later isn’t too late, right?

Are we drowning in our side of a story because we are hurt and we have expectations? Are we unable to see the other perspective because one, we can’t, like Joseph pre-famine or two, because we don’t want to see our culpability? It is easier to put on the armor and view life through our hurt and our needs. I am not saying to be a door mat and never consider your own perspective. What I am encouraging myself and you to do is expand the story. Expand the plot so that you’re not the only main character. No good story revolves around one player, and your beautiful tapestry of a narrative involves everyone, their hurts and their needs as well.

Prayer: God show me the balance between perspective and presence.

Creative: Where are you wrestling between mind & heart, rationale & gut? Let them have a conversation.

Brave: What’s one thing you can say no to that you’re afraid to turn away?

Generous: Tell someone their testimony of redemption means a lot to you.

Day 15: Freely roam in rootedness

December 31, 2018 — Leave a comment

Genesis 46-47; Psalm 15

It’s hard to read Joseph’s current wealth and loyalty to the Pharaoh and not think about the Israelites future slavery. Joseph sets up the structures for the Egyptians to hate the Israelites and for the Pharaoh to have utmost power. But he didn’t know. He was both a person in God’s redemption to presently save his people and to set up a future that enslaves them. What structures am I laying down now that will bite me in the ass later? Where do I think I’m so clever and impervious to failure? I don’t think Joesph knew he was doing wrong, but I wonder if he thought very long term.

To sojourn in God’s tent is to be rooted so nothing of this world can pull you away from his love. To be free in God’s world is to have the range to act like you are already enough. Freedom, grounded-ness, movement and stability are two sides of the same coin.

Day 14: Pointing to a way doper Joseph: J. Christ!

December 30, 2018 — Leave a comment

Genesis 43-45; Psalm 14

What it must have taken for Joseph to not only forgive his brothers, but to embrace them with such compassion? He moved from mere forgiveness to generous and open grace. He no longer blamed his brothers but rather saw his situation as part of God’s plans. He was vulnerable in his weeping. He didn’t forget what happened to him; he put it in context with where he is right now.

The brothers didn’t do anything but be honest. They received what they did not deserve. It was a situation and a gift too big they could not understand.

I mean this is essentially the gospel. God loves us not with just enough, but overwhelms us with unimaginable love. He doesn’t hold what we used to be against us, even though he could reaccount every last detail. Instead he rejoices at where we are in the present. We do not need to do anything, but be honest and vulnerable with where we are at and accept the love. Accepting the love is accepting that God really truly loves us to the moon and back and back again, and his greatest act of that was showing us Jesus. We are human and we needed an example, a way to see that made sense to us. Well, his death and resurrection doesn’t fully make sense because it’s both so horrific and so open. But in his life, death and rebirth, can we see the depths someone would go to affirm they love us? Can we see the non-obligatory love? Can we see an utter forgiveness, acceptance, compassion and relentless hope? Yes Jesus!

Day 11: Reality and Redemption together

December 27, 2018 — Leave a comment

Genesis 35-37; Psalm 11

When good arises from bad, people often bring up, what Joseph says: what man intended for bad, God used for good. This is by no means a justification to do bad and condone evil. In the in-between between the evil deed and the redemption ending, we need to uphold how terrible is the former. We should not look at suffering, injustice, cruelty, poor systemic structures, natural disasters, offenses, inhuman relational acts, and lessen their sting by saying well good will come from this, or God has a purpose for this. NO that is missing the point. It’s too separate things and until we reach the other side of redemption, we should not so callously ignore the pain that is often our reality. God is redemptive but until we are there and can look back with healing and forgiveness, those who were hurt can breathe and know God has been with them this whole time, we must stay in this tension of the here and not yet: Evil is the reality and God’s hope exists. How do we straddle acceptance of the present with a confidence of a future hope? How can a future hope help us through a tough present without rose-color-coating the now? How can we be fully here with a mind that holds to a one day God redeems all?

Sides:

1. Reuben is mentioned specifically twice. He sleeps with his fathers’ concubines. Boooo! He tells his brothers not to kill Joseph but to leave him in a well. Eh. What an example of the complicated spectrum of human being?

2. God tests the righteous. Can we replace tests with refines, develops, grows, helps reflect? He tests because he sees our openness to receive and shift. So when you’re being tested, what good quality is God saying you have but merely needs to be kneaded out to the surface?