love

Breaking down the Wall

January 28, 2021 — Leave a comment

For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of two, thus making peace, and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit.

Ephesians 2:14-18

What is the dividing wall of hostility made of? The law with its commands and regulations. Where is the hostility destroyed? On the cross. The dividing wall of hostility isn’t just between us and God; it is here amongst humans. Jesus’ demonstration of love on the cross bridges the gap between us and God, and it should also reconnect us humans. Because of Jesus we have one Spirit. We are linked. We are interdependent. We no longer need to identify ourselves by our specific commands and regulations that separate rather than stabilize. Instead we are marked by this same sacrificial love, whether we actively believe it or not. Jesus’ love is for everyone, near and far, aware or yet to believe. For those of us who claim Jesus, we should be the best examples of the unity and reconciliation. We should not seek to separate what has already been brought together. We should not reemphasize commands and regulations when, we, of all people know that it is now the Spirit that we live with.

Can anyone spot you in the crowd if you weren’t allowed to blatantly identify as someone who believes in Jesus’ powerful reconciliation and love? Can people sense your truest belief that humanity is one? Can people see your active and tangible work to break down the wall of hostility and build others up in love and unity? Asking for a friend.

Pleasure, Praise & Play

January 14, 2021 — Leave a comment

For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will — to praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.

Ephesians 1:4-6

It is God’s pleasure and will to call us his children. It is out of God’s love that he brings us in. Our ability to praise God’s grace is even a thing God gives us. Pleasure, praise and love are given to us freely and extravagantly.

When was the last time you allowed yourself to feel pleasure, praise freely and love deeply?

Pleasure. What comes to mind for you when you meditate on that word? “I’m not allowed…” “That’s indulgent…” “It’s..dirty.” Do guilt, shame and suppression arise? God started with pleasure! We are part of God’s pleasure! We, too, are allowed to know what is pleasurable, seek after what feels like ease in our body. Pleasure is our inherent coherence with the divine.

Praise… of his glorious grace. There is humility when you praise of God’s grace. There is an awareness when you really hold God’s grace. Not for the grace of God, go I… How can we praise from this deep humility and awareness, aware that you are not entitled to anything and humbled that if it were not for the grace of God, you would not be here? How can be praise in such a way that invites others into God’s grace, not push them away because of tone-deafness, but rather with a desire to share, even give your joy so another can experience it as well?

Love. Love is dangerous. Love demands of us to give so much we risk getting hurt. Love is removing the armor and drawing near and close. Love hopes. Love sees the other with as much worth and ferocity as God sees them. Can you love in this explosive way?

Where can you invite pleasure into your life today? How can you praise through eyes of wonder? Who can you love today that demands faith and courage?

Divine Embodiment

January 13, 2021 — Leave a comment

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.

Ephesians 1:3

There exists simultaneously this physical realm and the heavenly realms. Those moments when you are stunned and stopped by a beautiful sunset overlooking the seemingly unmoving waters feels like an intersection. That moment when you bump into the most unexpected person at the most ordinary of places and know deep in your heart that was meant to be: that’s a moment. That moment when a third space is created when you and another are so present it feels as if you are one is an intersection. These fully present divine moments have even happened on Zoom for me!

According to this version, in our heavenly realms, we are blessed with every spiritual blessing in Christ. We have a oneness. We have an abundance. We have all the traits listed in 1 Corinthians 13 regarding love: patience, kindness, forgiveness and all the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5: gentleness, self-control, faithfulness…and so forth. These are all ours. They are already our reality. But when our worldly/physical realm becomes the only thing occupying our mind and body, we lose access to all our spiritual blessings. We are dragged down by the circumstances of the present moment and pulled in all directions unsure of where our feet need to be rooted. The opposite can also be true. We can be so preoccupied with the heavenly realms that we lose touch with where God has placed us right now on earth. We can know these spiritual blessings yet they will have no potency in the present moment.

The task is to know both so well, to live in that intersection. How can I hold the present moment and my surroundings lightly, while allowing the peace and love that is divine and mine penetrate through me and into me? How can I be that porous with the divine world in this physical world? How can I find the divine in the profane and the physical in the sacred? Jesus was the perfect embodiment of divine humanity. How can we live that out?

Choosing Love

January 4, 2021 — 1 Comment

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

1 Corinthians 13:1-3

Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.

James Baldwin

We can have the power and purpose to impact people and the world, but without love, the barrier between humans remains and the connection that enables change cannot be formed. Love is what breaks down our defenses and armors so that we can actually be close enough to each other to see and know each other. Love translates our unique actions into the unique language our recipients can understand. Love removes fear so that play, innocence and leaps of faith can exist. Love removes the fear of not being enough, the fear of being seen and potentially rejected, the fear of doing it wrong, (as if there’s actually something such as doing it right), the fear that that where we are right now is off. Where you are right now reveals the insecurities, the heartaches and challenges that are building up your mask. With that awareness, you can have agency to choose love instead.

Choose love? That’s choosing your unchangeable worth and uniqueness ordained by God above all else. Choosing love is to see yourself the way God sees you — divine, done on purpose and delightful. Out of this knowing and love, we then break these manmade prisons that keep us separate and weary of each other. In this freedom, we then communicate, prophesy, perform miracles, give generously and endure all waves. Only when we recognize our own freedom and live into it can we seek to free others. That is our greatest calling: to usher others into their wholeness and freedom. To point people back to their Garden of Eden.

If you continue on in 1 Corinthians, you will find what love is. When you are not living in those — patience, kindness, opposite of envy, humility, and so forth — you are not in love. Will you dare to ask yourself why you are not living in and out of love? What mindset of comparison are you in? What unhealthy narratives are you imprisoned by? Where are you not believing God’s divine touch and making of you? Press in. Press through. You will find love right there.

The Gospel

September 29, 2020 — Leave a comment

For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile. For in the gospel the righteousness of God is revealed — a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: ‘The righteous will live by faith.’

Romans 1:16-17

Now more than ever, I find it so hard to answer the question, are you a Christian? There is so much baggage and preconceived notions wrapped up in the identification. There’s also a kind of flexing that might result from identifying as such. How often do you see people who identify as Christians spew the most hate, live the most selfishly and taint the beauty of God? They claim a holy Biblical standard that they don’t adhere to or doesn’t allow to penetrate into any relevance or impact on this side of heaven.

Then I used to say, well…yeah…I love Jesus, this more heart-centered way to express how and for who I live my life. But then it gets kind of wooo wooo and I feel myself throwing out disclaimers and trying to fluff up what I mean by that.

That is why I’m so moved by the simplicity in this passage. I believe in the gospel. I am not ashamed of the gospel. I am built up and led by the gospel. I believe that God loves the world, loves us so much and wants our wholeness and holiness felt fully. God demonstrates his love and hope through Jesus Christ, who lived a life full of purpose, forgiveness, radical love and miracles. We get to believe this dude was for real because if he was that means we too can have access to lives of deep purpose, forgiveness, radical love and miracles. And I believe the gospel because I believe God is ALWAYS with me. The Holy Spirit lives in me and reminds me of my worth & sense of home. So I believe in the gospel. I believe that hope has the final say and that transformation is inevitable. This is what I believe and I am not ashamed of it.

A Journey in the Valley

September 1, 2020 — Leave a comment

I was in the middle of rehearsal when the notification of Chadwick Boseman’s death flashed across my screen. In the pause when my heart was on hold, I hoped it was all an error, a cruel tabloid by some evil prankster who had nothing better to do but ruin the world’s Friday night. For a decent, honest, kind hero like Boseman to be taken so soon felt like the purest evidence that life can be so unfair and that death is not right. Death on earth is inevitable for each of us, but it still feels wrong, like it really was never meant to be. Something went wrong. In my culture, death is not the end.

This year has been relentless with its full display of loss, grief and injustice. The black lives taken this year, and the many lost in the past but only now surfacing because we finally believe and care. The hundreds of thousands of lives ravaged by illness, many that could have been saved if it were not for the unjust health care system that disenfranchises black and brown and the poor, and if we didn’t have a president who cared more about his ego than the country’s wellbeing. The Lebanese lives affected by manmade mistakes. The lives upended by natural disasters and climate change. The lives taken because assault weapons are still allowed in public hands. It’s not that death, loss, injustice and grief bloomed this year; we’re just finally paying attention and feeling it in our bones and schedules and social media.

God, what are you doing? God what are you trying to say? What is here to hold and honor, under this blanket of exhaustion, anger, sorrow, rage, depression and anxiety? Why do you often use grief and sorrow to straighten us and slow us down to the present moment, to display the priorities buried in our purpose? What does it mean to experience the fullness of this pain and moment for our own good, for the sake of others, for the sake of the world? What does it look like to walk in power embracing grief and sorrow? Chadwick did that. The greatest leaders who put it all on the line did that. Jesus did that.

It’s been a while since I’ve read the Word. God feels present, but very quiet. The Word feels unpredictable and I’m afraid to open my Bible and feel anger towards voices of past teachers evading my space. But God is present and their still small voice says, trust me, hold the faith, I’ll show you a better way. So, today is a step. Tomorrow will be a step.

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:1-4

CBG: Meek

June 24, 2020 — Leave a comment

And [Jesus] opened his mouth and taught them, saying:
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Matthew 5:2-5

Meek. Who do you see when you envision someone who is meek?

In a capitalistic, patriarchal, white supremacist world, meek isn’t the quality taught to those who want to succeed. Meek gets overpowered. Meek falls to the background. Meek isn’t heard or seen. Meek doesn’t interject. Meek doesn’t shout. Meek isn’t recognized on social media or seeks to go viral. Meek doesn’t vie with its competitors.

Because meek isn’t in competition to be more seen or to get head. Meek roots in worth and visibility. Meek works from the inside. Meek speaks when needed and that clear, wise softness cuts through the jargon and noise. Meek doesn’t need to prove their worth in crowds doing that because the crowd wouldn’t even understand. Meek is on its own race, center and purpose. Meek sees the results and product oriented attitude in capitalism as trivial and creates instead things that feed the soul. Meek sees the fear and ego built into patriarchy and feeds itself love and faith instead. Meek calls out the self-hatred and false set of rules in white supremacy, so lives life from possibility and presence. THIS is the earth they get to live in, and those who know, know.

Prayer: God help me to be fully present to all beings and to see their infinite possibility. Help me to create to expand and to give, and not to horde or lord over others. Help me to love and take risks rather than self-protect.

Where in your life would it be radical to be meek?

CBG: Justification

June 9, 2020 — Leave a comment

And behold, a lawyer stood up to put him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How do you read it?” And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” And he said to him, “You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live.” But he, desiring to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” Jesus replied, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. Now by chance, a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him. And the next day he took out two denari and gave them to the innkeeper, saying “Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.” Which of these, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?” He said, “The one who showed him mercy.” And Jesus said to him, “You go, and do likewise.”

Luke 10:25-37

The lawyer entered this engagement to test God and justify himself. In that posture, he already has the answers and isn’t here to be changed. He already thinks he’s right. He merely engages to showcase publicly and to God his knowledge and reasonableness. Jesus’ brilliant response to the deeper heart posture of the question rather than the question expands the lawyer’s concepts of neighbor and love and demonstrates the futility of justifying one’s righteousness before God. Simply, do the work.

Approaching God with curiosity is vulnerable. That sort of curiosity connotes humility and an openness to change. We lay our knowledge and reasonableness before God in order for him to reveal the gaps in them. We lay our achievements and our accolades before God so that he can point us to where are our next steps. We lay our lives down to pick them back up in the direction of God’s work. The surrender and the curiosity are followed by listening and then action.

We don’t need to approach God for justification. There is NOTHING we can do to justify ourselves. However, Christ has already, and if you believe that, you can approach God unarmored and ready. But whatever God says might not be what we want to hear because the plans and purposes God has for us are so much bigger than we could ever imagine. As we expand our capacity for love and act upon that, it will take us to places that no knowledge and no reason can explain. That is living by grace, by faith and with God.

Prayer: I don’t want to justify myself anymore. I don’t need to prove that I am right before your eyes. Help me to receive your discipline and your directions courageously knowing that there is nothing on earth that can separate me from the love of God. Help me to listen well and act without missing a beat.

When you feel like you already know or feel a need to justify yourself, what are you trying to protect? Who are you afraid of? What happens if you cannot justify yourself before others?

CBG: Sacrificial Love 1

June 1, 2020 — Leave a comment

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death — even death on a cross!

Philippians 2:5-8

We preach this passage a lot. It’s the fuzzies. It’s warm. It makes us feel all things are possible. Hope, you know. Humility. AMEN. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. #humility #vibes

Let me break down what Jesus really did, void of the fluffy intentions we think and hope in theory we too “want” to enact. Jesus was GOD. He was safe. He was chillin’ in heaven palace. He was GOOD. He was SO DAMN GOOD, like 100%, Webster’s definition of GOOD. He was privileged. Shout that for those in the nosebleeds. JESUS WAS A GOOD DUDE WHO WAS PRIVILEGED.

And he gave it up. He gave up his status. He gave up his home. He gave up his accolades. He gave up his position. He gave it all up to be a vulnerable baby.

Guess what?! Then he earned that all back! Yes, he did! He learned the Bible like no other. He was the best preacher by far. He was a charismatic leader. People were throwing themselves on him. People were following him. People were sacrificing expensive perfume to wash his dirty feet.

And then he gave it all up. Again. Stripped himself of dignity, of voice, of clothes, of family, of community. Stripped. Humiliated. Silenced. Accused. Mocked. Became nothing. Again.

Why? Because he loved us. He loved us oppressed, up our asses, humans. He loved the vulnerable, the ugly, the messy, the undeserving, the imprisoned, the sick, the healthy, the greedy, the generous. He loved us. He saw what could be possible — a redeemed humanity. A humanity freed from greed and evil, of -ism’s and separations — a humanity restored. He broke himself and broke the system for redemption.

May we, may I, love in this manner. Can I give up my voice? Can I give up my place? Can I give up my status? Can I give up my achievements? Can I give up all the things I’ve earned for the sake of a redeemed humanity? Can I give up my life for the sake of a full soul?

Prayer: God make me this kind of woman, daughter, friend, sister, colleague, human.

What am I holding onto that I am unwilling to give up because I am afraid of losing my place and privilege?

CBG: Reciprocity

May 16, 2020 — Leave a comment

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peacefully with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Romans 12:9-21

Here are the guidelines for living. You don’t need to do everything at once, and you probably should not and cannot. What part of this passage makes you angry because it feels too hard and too unfair? Never avenge yourselves? Be patient in tribulation? Overcome evil with good? A lot of this passage goes against my body when I’m gripping hard to my ego and my comforts. These encouragements are uncomfortable, are unfair. They require you to give up your status and ego. This is not giving up your power. It’s giving up your need to prove your power.

If there is a part of this passage that really irks — right now for me it’s live in harmony with one another – acknowledge the feelings. They are valid. What is that feeling trying to protect? What is this feeling afraid of losing if you actually abide by this verse? Do you need to hold onto this thing that you might lose? If you lose this thing, what do you need God to do to fill in the gap? What feeling emerges in the surrender?

Prayer: God I pray to love more, care more, rejoice and weep more, than I am resistant. God I pray for a greater capacity to surrender and give up present status for the sake of long-term health. God I pray for grace and patience with people who irk me to my core.

Character: Where am I gripping more than making room and loosening up?

Grace: What helps you take a breath and a moment before reacting?