perspective

The Undeniable Pleasure of God’s Ways

February 16, 2021 — Leave a comment

That, however, is not the way of life you learned when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self; created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.

Ephesians 4:20-28

It’s not enough to tell someone not to do something without giving them what to do. It’s not enticing enough to tell someone to let go of their former ways without presenting new ways that are magical and mindblowing. Without what’s possible and what’s waiting on the other side of no, we don’t have the fuel and hope to keep going when things get hard. Without the yes and renewal that are our greater possibilities, it feels like mere muscling and work to keep turning away from the former ways that make our minds smaller and our dreams dimmer. I need to be turning away INTO something that takes my focus and expands me. I want to be looking at, feeling, grasping the way of God that feels so much yummier than my old ways that force me to armor up, wall up and separate from others.

It is not enough to tell someone to be vulnerable, trust, feel safe, think of something greater. We must also make connection, community, unity, intimacy, hope, renewal, righteousness, the ways of God undeniable. The ways of God lead to a purpose that is beyond words. They lead to a peace that throws everyone off in times of suffering. They lead to a grounded place that is surrounded by shaky circumstances. The ways of God are possible and beautiful, and by the Spirit, we have access to these renewing, grounded, free ways of being. I pray that we stop doing the former ways because we can’t help but do the new ways. I pray for an opening of our hearts and our minds for a healing and a togetherness that are beyond anything we can make up in our minds. It has to be from God!

CBG: Remind

April 24, 2020 — Leave a comment

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor, he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of prison to those who are bound, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion — to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified. They shall build up the ancient ruins; they shall raise up the former devastation; they shall repair the ruined cities, the devastations of many generations.

Isaiah 61:1-4

We do not need to strive and work on perspective. We need to be reminded of our purpose, our power and our priesthood. We do not dismiss our feelings and our exhaustion. In the midst of all that, we remember our calling. It is through your feelings and your exhaustion, that the power of your calling lifts your head slightly and helps you take another courageous step. We do not need to put things in perspective nor think of the “bigger picture” or “how things will work out…eventually.” That type of pulling ourselves up and reworking our minds by our own strength can feel disingenuous, forced and lead to guilt if we “fail” What we need is a reminder that we have already been anointed and NO ONE, NOTHING can take that stamp of worth away. You, are not made for small things. You, are not created for the trite and trivial. You, were created for transformation and restoration. You, right where you are now, have all the power and strength, to be the reflection of God. Now this reminder is scary. This kind of reminder can shed the unnecessary and set our hearts straight.

Prayer: God remind me of who you are and who I am. Help my heartbreak point in the direction of transformative justice. Help my sadness point to communal comfort. Help my fears point to your former and forever abundances and provision.

Creative: Read these verses over yourself. Feel it. Embrace it. Where does it refresh your body? Your heart? Your mind.

Brave: What part of this scripture scares you? Can you step in?

Generous: What part of this scripture excites you? Can you live in?

CBG: #20

April 9, 2020 — Leave a comment

“I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. And now do not be distressed or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. For the famine has been in the land these two years, and there are yet five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvest. And God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant on earth, and to keep alive for you many survivors. So it was not you who sent me here, but God.”

Genesis 45:4-8

One summer night when I was in college, I drove 12 hours through the night from Annapolis, Maryland to Martha’s Vineyard to surprise my boyfriend. He was vacationing with his family and had mentioned several times in our phone calls that he wanted me to join them. It was a long drive through torrential rain. Thankfully very few cars were on the road and there is coffee, though shitty still coffee, at gas stations. When I finally arrived the next afternoon in MV, my boyfriend said he couldn’t come pick me up from the dock because he was playing golf with a mutual friend of ours. I. Lost. It. Imagine the whitest happiest place on earth and smack in the middle of that joy is a sobbing Asian girl. I did not give a f*ck who heard me, who saw me and where I was. I was so angry and hurt.

Today while I was journalling that memory rushed into my mind. It often does when I need an example of how I had a shit boyfriend. As I was reminiscing on that time, it hit me that I had crashed my boyfriend’s summer vacation. I had crashed his family’s — a family that did not allow us to sleep in the same room whenever I stayed over at their house — long standing vacation. I sprung all of me — dramatic, expectant, pouty — onto his quiet calm vacation. Um. Oh. Ooops. A revelation a decade later isn’t too late, right?

Are we drowning in our side of a story because we are hurt and we have expectations? Are we unable to see the other perspective because one, we can’t, like Joseph pre-famine or two, because we don’t want to see our culpability? It is easier to put on the armor and view life through our hurt and our needs. I am not saying to be a door mat and never consider your own perspective. What I am encouraging myself and you to do is expand the story. Expand the plot so that you’re not the only main character. No good story revolves around one player, and your beautiful tapestry of a narrative involves everyone, their hurts and their needs as well.

Prayer: God show me the balance between perspective and presence.

Creative: Where are you wrestling between mind & heart, rationale & gut? Let them have a conversation.

Brave: What’s one thing you can say no to that you’re afraid to turn away?

Generous: Tell someone their testimony of redemption means a lot to you.