reflection

Breaking down the Wall

January 28, 2021 — Leave a comment

For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of two, thus making peace, and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit.

Ephesians 2:14-18

What is the dividing wall of hostility made of? The law with its commands and regulations. Where is the hostility destroyed? On the cross. The dividing wall of hostility isn’t just between us and God; it is here amongst humans. Jesus’ demonstration of love on the cross bridges the gap between us and God, and it should also reconnect us humans. Because of Jesus we have one Spirit. We are linked. We are interdependent. We no longer need to identify ourselves by our specific commands and regulations that separate rather than stabilize. Instead we are marked by this same sacrificial love, whether we actively believe it or not. Jesus’ love is for everyone, near and far, aware or yet to believe. For those of us who claim Jesus, we should be the best examples of the unity and reconciliation. We should not seek to separate what has already been brought together. We should not reemphasize commands and regulations when, we, of all people know that it is now the Spirit that we live with.

Can anyone spot you in the crowd if you weren’t allowed to blatantly identify as someone who believes in Jesus’ powerful reconciliation and love? Can people sense your truest belief that humanity is one? Can people see your active and tangible work to break down the wall of hostility and build others up in love and unity? Asking for a friend.

The Balance tips towards the Inevitable

January 27, 2021 — Leave a comment

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Therefore, remember that formerly you who are Gentiles by birth and called ‘uncircumcised’ by those who call themselves ‘the circumcision’ (which is done in the body by human hands) — remember that at that time you were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far way have been brought near by the blood of Christ

Ephesians 2:10-13

Living by faith and living in God is living in the gap of remembering where we come from and believing where we are going. Each side balances the journey so we don’t fall too deep into despair or get sucked into naive hope. Our hope and our impact in this world are destined. They are inevitable. We were created to make impact, to demonstrate beauty, to be the light in this world. The past and the realness of disconnection and separation that we have experienced, even currently experiencing, keep us grounded and keep us rooted in the why that is bigger than our individual self. This why is rooted in our ancestry, our upbringing, our experiences, our pains and heartaches and gives each of us a specific calling and community. We are drawn to different causes, to reconcile certain relationships, to bring healing to specific aspects of society.

But if we don’t also hold onto the inevitability of our good words and of our beautiful inherent nature — God’s handiwork — we might cave into despair when we are discouraged, sink into self-hatred when we are rejected or give up when we are momentarily disappointed. If today, right now, this moment, you know without a doubt your calling has been prepared, and it is beautiful, unshakeable and about to explode out for all to be affected, what would you do differently? How would you speak to yourself differently? How would you see the successes around you differently? How would you engage with others? How can you ease your mind, soul, heart and body and keep on your path, one step and one breath at a time?

But first, who is God?

January 13, 2021 — Leave a comment

Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, To God’s holy people in Ephesus, the faithful in Christ Jesus: Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Ephesians 1:1-2

Paul knew his identity. He knew his audience. And he knew his message. Each step builds off of the prior planting. Before Paul could have his message, he needed to know his audience. He needed to know the people he was trying to communicate with. He needed to understand what specifically the people of Ephesus needed to hear, what were their pains, what were their hopes, what language would best resonate. The messages comes out of the audience because its purpose is to serve those receiving. Before Paul could find his audience, he needed to know who he was. He needed to know who he was called to connect with. He needed to know his community. He needed to understand his place in the world. Out of that trust and stillness emanates the connections. Before Paul could know who he was, he needed to know God. He needed to know the God who created him and the world. He needed to know the God who structured and watches over this world. He needed to know that God is kind, good, loving and desires to redeem all of this world. He needed to know and experience the God who is near, who can move mountains, who can do the impossible. Paul’s identity flows out of this knowing of God.

  1. How do you see God? How do you view God? What does God’s identity say about your identity?
  2. Who are you? What is your “title” or “role” in God’s kingdom? Who needs your specific leadership and wisdom?
  3. Who are the people you already connect with? Who are the people you hope to connect with? What are they longing for? What do they hope for?
  4. What message and offering will serve the people you are called to? What message and offering will bring these people to God’s presence?

Citizens of Two Worlds

January 8, 2021 — Leave a comment

But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

Philippians 3:20-21

We belong in heaven, not in the sense that we should be there, but that our home is already defined. We already belong and have a home where we are free, without having to further work for that. You don’t have to work for the citizenship; it’s given to you. There is no need for striving and evidence: you are a citizen of heaven.

However in the meantime, the other truth is that we are living on earth. If earth were not important and real, God would not have become human to walk amongst us. Our time on earth is that much more precious and beautiful. Jesus had 33 years on earth and he did not waste a moment. He didn’t take his time here for granted because he was living on purpose and from promise.

The pitfall of having citizenship in heaven is to neglect our time on earth. God has bestowed our truest identity and given us a sense of home so that when we are on earth, we can live out of that worth and not for worth. Nothing on earth will give us new worth; it’s been given, fully. If we can accept our fullness and beauty, how would we spend our time on earth differently? Look to Jesus — he didn’t hoard physical things and he respected the earth. How would we build relationships? Look to Jesus — he had strong intimate connections yet didn’t attach unhealthily and knew when we let go. How can we exemplify in the present our heavenly citizenship?

Fall into a new season

September 8, 2020 — Leave a comment

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-11

Normally after Labor Day, there is a mental shift to fall. Schools are starting. Denim jackets are coming out. White clothes are put away. But this year, schools have started and closed again. There is sweltering heat in California. Sweats are the only things people are wearing year round. But it can be helpful to transition into a new season, even if it’s telling yourself you’re doing it in the midst of circumstances seemingly the same.

It gives you a chance to reflect on what has happened thus far. How are you different now than when summer first started, when lock downs were first implemented, when you rung in the new year? How have you grown? What have you learned? What have you lost? Who have you lost? What are you not bringing into the next season?

It gives you a chance to imagine and bless this next chunk of time. What do you hope for? Where do you want to be more settled? What changes can take place right now?

Transitioning into a new season also gives you grace for the all the ways you fell short in the last season. It gives you a sense of newness that you actually do have permission to bring into every morning. You are allowed to again be hopeful for things that did not pan out. How can each day feel like a new beginning and a new ending? We are met with new mercies every morning and we have a sanctuary to let things go every night. May we gently use the time in between, trusting that all things will pan out in due time. It’s a level of trust rooted in purpose and in a good God.

Monday Map: Radical Friendships

July 13, 2020 — Leave a comment

This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another.

John 15:12-17

At first blush, I get the warm fuzzies. Friendship goals! Sacrificial love! Laying down your life for your friends. Until you read that friendship with God requires you to follow his commandments. What friendship is contingent on my obedience? Friendship with God! What do I gain? The Father’s message. So…? Bearing fruit. Okay…? The ability to love one another. Is it worth it to sacrifice my autonomy to obey Jesus to know God and to love others?

  • What is your relationship with obedience? What images, feelings, people, colors come up for you?
  • What fruit do you actually want to bear? Economic? Relational? Emotional? Character?
  • What do you gain from loving others beyond what they can give back to you?
  • What’s missing from your friendships?

Ask God for the relationship you want with them. Ask God for the friendships you need.

CBG: Reflection

June 7, 2020 — Leave a comment

Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness! You have given me relief when I was in distress. Be gracious to me and hear my prayer!
O men, how long shall my honor be turned into shame? How long will you love vain words and seek after lies?
But know that the Lord has set apart the godly for himself; the Lord hears when I call to him.
Be angry, and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent.
Offer right sacrifices, and put your trust in the Lord.
There are many who say, “Who will show us some good? Lift up the light of your face upon us, O Lord!”
You have put more joy in my heart than they have when their grain and wine abound.
In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.

Psalm 4

Prayer: Quiet my body, my heart, my mind and my soul to feel the safety and peace you promise. Help me to feel without entering into shame. Help me to listen without judgment. Help me to soften and surrender in the midst of chaos and the cacophony of voices.

  1. As you read this passage, what cry resonates with you?
  2. How has shame manifested this week?
  3. How has anger played itself out this week?
  4. What sacrifices have you offered this week?
  5. Where have you felt safety this week?

CBG: Judas

May 31, 2020 — Leave a comment

After saying these things, Jesus was troubled in his spirit, and testified. “Truly, truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me.” The disciples looked at one another, uncertain of whom he spoke. One of his disciples, whom Jesus loved, was reclining at the table at Jesus’ side, so Simon Peter motioned to him to ask Jesus of whom he was speaking. So that disciple, leaning back against Jesus, said to him, “Lord, who is it?” Jesus answered, “It is he to whom I will give this morsel of bread when I have dipped it.” So when he had dipped the morsel, he gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot. Then after he had taken the morsel, Satan entered him. Jesus said to him, “What are you going to do, do quickly.”

John 13:21-27

Judas hung with Jesus, knew the guy, loved the guy. Judas was there supporting Jesus. He was there when he went against the Pharisees and those in power. Judas was in the inner circle. He helped with the miracles of supporting the vulnerable and the disenfranchised. He was doing the work. He was at the dinner table. There is nothing more intimate than sharing a meal. Judas was so close, one of the good guys, one of the friends. Judas was invited into Jesus’ heart, mission, purposes. He knew Jesus. He loved Jesus. He betrayed Jesus.

I pray that we do the work of dismantling oppressive systems. I pray that we give voice to those who are the most vulnerable. I pray that we can lay down our comforts and put our money down for the causes. I pray that we stand firm against evil, against white supremacy and against racism.

I pray most that we don’t forget we can all be Judas. We are all Judas. We can do the work and we can shout, out there and forget the friend right next to us. We can give our money and repost and forget to check ourselves at the dinner table. We can give our lives up and declare promises to do better, and in our safe inner circles when no one is looking, we harbor other thoughts.

I need to actively love my black friends and neighbors that are right in front of me, for my shouts for change to be sustained by a changing heart. I must get uncomfortable, put my ego aside, apologize when I haven’t done enough and check in with my friends and neighbors who are black and who I love, supposedly. If I don’t start here, what is my work for? I must do the work not for surface media coverage, but for true restoration, sanctification and redemption. That is not a momentary trending work. It is a life long discipline.

  1. If God is your judge, how would you be acting differently?
  2. Where have you felt alone this week?
  3. Where have you felt in community?
  4. What do you need?

CBG: Reflection

May 24, 2020 — 1 Comment

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather healed. Strive for peace with everyone, and for holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.

Hebrews 12:11-15

It’s difficult to lift your hands when you are tired. It’s hard to keep walking when your knees have already buckled a few times. It’s arduous to keep on the path when everything in the moment feels out of line. Yet it’s in the small acts of defiance towards our hopelessness and doubt that we experience our power and strength. It isn’t easy, but the alternative is worst. The moping, the complaining, the self-doubt, the defeat will sink deep and plant roots that will take even more work to pull out later. So today, this moment I ask and pray that you and I will look towards peace rather than protecting our ego. I hope that we can focus our hearts to open and give. I pray that we become fearless in the furnace of character and faith building. We are being trained for battle.

  1. What has your self-doubt been saying this week?
  2. What activities and people lead you towards complaining?
  3. How have you defied hopelessness?
  4. Who is cheering you on?

CBG: Peace

May 21, 2020 — Leave a comment

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling.
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations rage, the kingdoms totter; he utters his voice, the earth melts.
The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Come, behold the works of the Lord, how he has brought desolation on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the end of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the chariots with fire.
Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!
The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Psalm 46

What do you hold onto when the foundations you’ve set your feet on fall away? Your security and your safety net, if you were ever lucky enough to have one, show themselves to not be stable after all. Where do you look when all you’ve worked towards is thrown into emptiness? Your achievements and your diligence are unprepared for new obstacles. When you thought you had done enough and gotten on top of your circumstances, exhaustion creeps in. How will you make it to the morning?

Peace is the anchoring into what hasn’t been been shaken and what hasn’t been defeated. Peace is making room for God’s presence when everything around you is telling you to close up shop and protect. Peace is looking at everything coming at you while focusing on the fortress of your character and God that exist in between. Peace is hearing the noise and shouts yet recalibrating the breath to a 4 count inhale, 4 count exhale. Peace is seeing all that seems against us with compassion. Peace is silent during the good times and loud during the hard times. Peace is a practice of presence. Peace is a muscle of response rather than one of reaction. Peace is a choice to surrender control.

Prayer: God I pray that you will reveal where I am placing my trust. Teach me how to breathe in a manner that quiets me and those in my presence. Teach me to pause before reacting out of anger or hurt. Teach me to see attacks and attackers with compassion.

Character: Where am I choosing to fight by ignoring the bigger scene and narrative?

Grace: How can I make room for moments of presence today?