sin

Love is Offensive

January 16, 2021 — Leave a comment

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us.

Ephesians 1:7-8

I used to so buy into this idea that Jesus’ blood washed away my sins. That through Jesus’ sacrifice, my transgressions are forgiven and my propensities to turn from God are not held against me. Thank you JESUS!

Many people I love find the above so offensive. The idea that we have sin makes them angry. The idea that God had to kill himself to redeem us is horrifying. The idea that I need someone to forgive my transgressions means there’s a “right way of being,” and who is to say what that is?

I haven’t swung so far to the other side that I have scraped Jesus’ blood and sin. I simply have more questions. How can the idea of sin be healthy and loving? How can the sacrifice of God lean more into the meaning than the actual act? How can a right way of being and living also have room for inclusion, diversity and tolerance?

What is sin? This is where I’ve landed so I feel integrity in my body and in what I believe God to be. Sin is a way of living that doesn’t honor our highest selves. I believe our highest selves is divine and in alignment with God. I believe our highest selves is attuned and in step with the Spirit of God in us. Anything outside of that divine integrity is sin. God created us with this wholeness, fullness, nakedness, full of purpose and connection. That was what was lost when sin entered. We are either moving towards our wholeness & divine connection, or moving away from it. The beauty is, each step allows for the pivot, the choice to move in the path towards connection.

Jesus’ death is offensive. Capital punishment and the death penalty are wrong, and often committed against innocent humans. Why would God use such a horrible image to showcase his love? Because death and love are but two sides of the same coin. LOVE is offensive. It requires a dying of self for another. It requires a dying of self-interest to include another. Often we love because we think we’ll be loved in return or it’s the right thing to do. While we may never take it all the way to the edge like Jesus did, his death was a kind of love that doesn’t ask for anything in return besides belief. I think Jesus’ willing death just so we can experience God doesn’t commute in our minds that have been knocked down by this cruel world. Jesus truly loves us that much, that it doesn’t quite make sense.

Nothing angers me more than Scriptures that are vehicles for intolerance, exclusion and hate. It is the OPPOSITE of God, God among us, God for us, God in us. The right way of living cannot be defined by any man in this world. The right way of living…I’m not sure. It’s a daily, moment-to-moment choosing. It does no harm, to self, others or God. It’s more colorful than we could ever imagine and full of healthy and freeing boundaries.

My fellow sinners & mockers

September 18, 2020 — Leave a comment

Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither — whatever they do prospers. Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.

Psalm 1

Some of these TikTok stars will stay; many will fade away as the trend shifts to another platform of #hashtag #viral sensation. Some who have thrown up black squares and #BLM have forever shifted their lives for the cause; many will go back into daily life hoping they won’t be called out for any deep seated microaggressions. Who becomes like a John Lewis or a Gloria Steinem? Who becomes rooted in the work till death at 100 like Grace Lee Boggs? How does one become committed to their purpose and stay the course regardless of the fading trends and crashing waves?

Our roots grow depending on what we feed them. Are we feeding our souls with words and company that prune, uproot, disrupt the bad to make room for the better? Are we meditating on truths that make us feel more grounded and whole? Are we set on the long game, trusting that fruit WILL SHOW UP, if we stay in the game? When we are set on the presence and purpose of God for our lives, we will prosper. Yet be careful of how you measure prosper. To prosper is to have an abundance of enoughness & peace.

We sin when we are so keen on our own ways regardless of what the voice of God urges for our good. We all sin because being rooted and patient are hard to do. We sin when we deny that God has our best interest. We all sin. We mock when we are skeptical of the good and the hopeful. We mock when we let our own bitterness and pain get in the way of experiencing renewal and refreshment. We mock because it feels safer than opening our hearts up again. We all mock.

I hope that even as we see our propensity we can also keep in mind the possibility and beauty of being people who are planted with purpose. I hope that the latter curbs the propensity so that we all create new patterns to slow down, desire for big things and seek a life for the long game. I pray that closets and closed doors open up for the healing of God and for the goodness of his voice. I pray that even if/when we see the wickedness in us, it only points to the possibility of being something other.

CBG: Restoration

May 10, 2020 — Leave a comment

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin!
For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment.
Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me.
Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities.
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit.
Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will return to you.
Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, O God of my salvation, and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.
O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise.
For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I will give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
Do good to Zion in your good pleasure; build up the walls of Jerusalem; then will you delight in right sacrifices, in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings; then bulls will be offered on your altar.

Psalm 51

You can only live in this verse if you trust in God’s compassionate presence and recognize your own transgressions. What God desires is a humbled heart that is brave enough to see oneself and desire and believe in an imminent newness. Refreshment and restoration with God are prerequisites to restoration in our relationships, actions, self-image, speech and purpose. Seek God first and everything else will fall into place. Will you give yourself a moment now to do that?

  1. How was this week hard?
  2. How was this week clarifying?
  3. What relationships were tested this week?
  4. What relationships gave you hope?
  5. What did you discover about God’s character?

Day 31: Back to one

January 16, 2019 — Leave a comment

Leviticus 5-7; Psalm 31

People were asked to sacrifice from what they had. The rich gave a lamb. The poor could give turtles. These are rituals that demonstrate a deeper meaning. The size of the sacrifice matters less than the willingness to give something of value away to atone. Atonement can be hard to grasp because it assumes we are sinners and we need to be forgiven. What is sin? A propensity to choose ourselves and intentionally/unintentionally wreak havoc in our environment. It doesn’t have to be blatant overt evil. It could be turning a blind eye to those in need. It could be silence in the face of oppression. Sin is the way we break trust with God, each other and even in ourselves. We all do it. What’s the big deal, though? What’s the big deal with a breach of trust here and there? It makes life more veiled and less vulnerable. We work harder to prove our worth. We do things to our benefit and maybe neglect others. Why care about others? We’re interdependent. We are all created in the image of God. We’ve lost that connection to each other, to the earth, to God.

Atonement is to heal this lost and to bring us all back as one. Jesus does that. The Holy Spirit does that. Maybe other things like yoga practices that tell us we are one also do that. But can we simply say we are one without acknowledging the ways we’ve fractured that oneness and answer for it? I acknowledge all the ways I choose myself and selfishly/cowardly not love others fully. How do I shift away from this propensity? How do I choose others and me in all situations? How do I walk with compassion and forgiveness and generosity, without it feeling like an obligation? God help.