trauma

Monday Map: Breaking Generational Chains

July 6, 2020 — Leave a comment

On the evening of that day, the first day of the week, the doors being locked where the disciples were for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said to them, ‘Peace be with you.’ When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, ‘Peace be with you. As the father has sent me, even so I am sending you.’ And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and said to them, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you withhold forgiveness from any, it is withheld.’

John 20:19-23

Jesus was humiliated, tortured and killed. His resurrected body still held the scars and trauma of what he endured. Yet his words to his disciples after he showed his ultimate power was on repentance and forgiveness. In preaching this new way not only in his words, but by being the example of hope and renewal, he makes me believe that chains can be broken, stories can pivot and indeed, God will make all things new.

Breaking generational pain & trauma is a spiritual heavenly task. It requires the strength to face the wrong that has been passed down and in our body and mind. It requires the courage to see those we love and hate for who they are — humans that have become instruments of pain because of evil systems. It requires sacrifice because it involves forgiveness, but know that this kind of vulnerability lays bricks to a road for those who come after us. It requires faith to believe that God, too, desires and roots in hope.

In the midst of a global unveiling and purging, I hope that we map out a better way, for ourselves and for everyone who comes in contact with us.

  • What pain has affected your ability to trust?
  • What does trust feel and look like?
  • Give yourself permission to be enraged and justified in your anger.
  • Give yourself space to grieve what was stolen from you.
  • Slowly invite forgiveness in, a bit at a time, with its pauses and hesitancies.
  • Imagine the tensions in your body softening, the voices in your head quieting, your feelings bubbling up and going and evolving.
  • Believe in a newness that is already here and still coming into form.

When you do the brave, loving work, God is at work with you.

CBG: Body

April 21, 2020 — Leave a comment

You have kept count of my tossings, put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?

Psalm 56:8

This is a needed reminder that God cares about our pain, our losses and our sorrows. While we are encouraged to surrender our pain to God and not keep a record of wrongs, we can trust that there is always someone who knows.

Can this also not apply to the Holy Spirit that is in our body? That the Holy Spirit in our body is also holding our tears and our pains? On the bright side of things, this can mean the deepest intimacy of holding space. The Holy Spirit that is not separated from us, but working through and in us is immediately available to hold our tears and pains. With that nearness, redemption and relief can also be immediate. Do you recall those moments when in an instance something’s lifted, you feel lighter, you feel transformed? On the tougher end of things, which always exists on this side of heaven, it also means our bodies remember trauma. Our bodies hold sadness. Our bodies have memories of hurts and losses. Even after Jesus was resurrected, his hands and feet still carried the traces of his trauma. Where can we fit hope into this? Your body is a temple, a holy place, your friend, your sanctuary. Honor the feelings and memories it gives you access to. How can awareness lead to gentle comfort and patient expansion or realignment? How can you be grateful for your body’s wisdom and history, yet know its true purpose is to point to a redemptive future? For all the talk in the Bible about the body, for the greatest act of God in human form, we must honor our holy selves that are marked by this human body.

Prayer: God, where do I hold my sadness? Where do I hold my anger? Where do I feel your Spirit? Where can I let you expand my heart?

Creative: Give yourself 5 minutes to take an inventory of your body. Thank it.

Brave: Wonderful Fear Setting exercise by Tim Ferris

Generous: Who needs you to “hold” them today?