trust

Day 5: The Bible annoys me

December 21, 2018 — Leave a comment

Genesis 16-18, Psalm 5

Can we apply Abraham’s pleading with God to spare Sodom to Jesus’ pleading with God to spare us? He is the righteous one so can that mean we are all spared from destruction?

Reading Psalms and the constant righteous vs evil feels very us versus them. Well I guess that also assumes we are the righteous and “they” are evil. Who is the righteous? Who actually follows the law of God? What is the law of God — to love God and to love others? Who’s God?

The more I read the Scriptures the more annoyed I am by the people God has chosen to be used, the more questions I have and the more I need to keep reminding myself God is good and we suck and yet he uses us.

And I also see the pitfalls of reading Scripture out of context. Every passage is a bit of God’s big story of redemption and love. Every ick points to God’s big grace. If I didn’t have Jesus, which is the biggest example of God’s love, I would be longing and irritated forever.

Day 3: The backdrop of God’s actions

December 19, 2018 — Leave a comment

Genesis 8-11, Psalm 3

When God kicks us out of Eden, curses Cain, destroys the whole world except for Noah and disperses us at Babel, how do we see him? Do we see him as a nervous wreck afraid we would usurp his power? Is he a jealous man shocked his creation can get to his level? Do we see him as an angry aggressive destroyer? On the surface, yes. According to my standard of good and evil, God doesn’t seem too great– maybe even evil. Like he’s out of touch and acting out of fear.

It’s not a simple, “tell yourself that’s not true; God’s good,” that will change my view of God. How I see God’s core character color his actions? Did he act out of fear or did he act out of love? Honestly at this point I don’t know. Unless I take into account Jesus, which is also part of this story. If I take into account Jesus, I know God is good and compassionate and unrelentless about getting us back to him. Can I trust that the God of the OT and the God of the NT are the same? If yes, how can I see all this actions from the beginning as ways of compassion, mercy, an enduring covenant love to remind us, he wants us back.

God help me to know you act out of love and compassion even though my heart wants to blame you for all the bad in this world, and in me.

Day 1: Is God withholding?

December 17, 2018 — Leave a comment

Genesis 1-3; Psalm 1

Eve and Adam have everything in the garden. They lack nothing. They frolic naked before God, before all of creation and before each other. There is no hiding, no separation of possessions – what is yours is mine is God’s is mine is yours. Eden is a place of generosity, unity, continuity, diversity and intimacy. So what happened? How did a little lie and thought seep in to their minds to cause them to do the one thing they were asked not to do? For a moment, they thought God was withholding, that God didn’t have their best interest at heart, that God was hiding something from them. It’s just a moment of questioning God’s character of good. It wasn’t straight up malicious. It was a moment of wanting more when they already had it all. How often do I miss the garden of abundance I’m in — the friends who love me, the food I get to eat at the table, the experiences I daily get to have? How often do I think God is withholding something good for me because he’s not good? Where am I hiding? Where do I want to be God and decide my life? And is that really that bad?