CBG: Sacrificial Love 4

June 4, 2020 — Leave a comment

But if you do not worship, you shall immediately be cast into a burning fiery furnace. And who is the god who will deliver you out of my hands?” Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered and said to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up. Then Nebechadnezzar was filled with fury, and the expression of his face was changed against Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. He ordered the furnace hearted seven times more than it was usually heated…And these three men, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego fell bound into the burning fiery furnace. Then King Nebuchadnezzar was astonished and rose up in haste. He declared to his counselors, “Did we not cast three men bound into the fire?” They answered and said to the king, “True, O king.” He answered and said, “But I see four men unbound, walking; in the midst of the fire, and they are not hurt; and the appearance of the fourth is like a son of the gods.”

Daniel 3:15-19, 24-25

Does Nebuchadnezzar remind you of any tyrant in America 2020? A “leader” that is SO obsessed with his own ego and control over others? He’s driven by arrogance, reeks of ignorance and threatens others to maintain his status. I won’t name names because this “person” is so hateful. Love trumps hate.

The three young men stood with their integrity, willing to die for it. They didn’t know for sure whether they would be delivered from the fire, yet regardless, would not bow down to the tyrannical evil rule of the “king in power.” They got bound. They saw what they were about to enter. And they DID get thrown into the fire.

Are we willing to get thrown into the fire for what we believe? Are we willing to stand firm even when death is staring us in the face? How does one even get this kind of integrity and courage? How does one stay this centered?

The three men had each other. So find a community that you can stand together and fight the battles together. Find people who will hold your hand as y’all walk into scary, hard tests. Find the people who you can lean on.

When we’re not part of the original three, be the fourth! Most of us can be the fourth. Be the one who enters the fire with those who are standing for what is right. Stand with friends even if you feel awkward entering late. Jump in. Would you rather walk freely in the fire or be bound by a lack of conscience?

Prayer: God help me move and act from that centered place of truth and love. God help me to see the community I am to walk with in the fire.

What is your cost of standing up to oppression and oppressors?

CBG: Sacrificial Love 3

June 3, 2020 — Leave a comment

And behold, a man came up to [Jesus], saying, “Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal life?” And he said to him, “Why do you ask me about what is good? There is only one who is good. If you would enter life, keep the commandments.” He said to him, “Which ones?” And Jesus said, “You shall not murder, You shall not commit adultery, You shall not steal, You shall not bear false witness, Honor your father and mother, and, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” The young man said to him, “All these I have kept. What do I still lack?” Jesus said to him, “If you would be perfect, go, sell, what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.

Matthew 19:16-22

This man has good intentions. He’s showing up. He’s asking questions. He wants to be on the right path. When Jesus lists out commandments for him to follow, the man clearly knows them and says he has indeed followed them. What else? So, Jesus tacks on sell it all and follow me. That crushes the man because that’s A LOT he has to sacrifice.

The road to hell is paved by good intentions. Good intentions are not enough. First, the man’s question was already faulty. Yes, he’s asking, and the question reveals his heart. He believes that his way to heaven lies in his good deeds. He believes that his way to eternal life lies in his power to do good. He believes he can do good. He already exists in a false paradigm of a work-based life. Jesus tries to reimagine and expand the man’s concept of good and the man’s ability to do good. First he reflects back the man’s way of thinking and then responds with a question in the language the man would understand to further expose the man’s heart. And the man responds with a lack of humility, a lack of self-awareness of his own lack and full-blown ego and self-congratulation. Jesus then reflects that the man’s response demonstrates the man thinks he’s done well, perfect indeed, but still truly knows there’s more. The man really thinks he’s done it all, he’s not at fault, throw him the next challenge. Jesus then cuts straight in: surrender all the present security, trust it lies ahead and come with me. Jesus pushed the man beyond his comfort, beyond what he was willing to give up, beyond his security into a land of discomfort and hard uncomfortable faithful sacrifice.

My intentions may be good. Bravo for a beat. However, am I willing to check my heart and my ego beyond my good deeds and practices. Do I recognize that good actions are not enough for change? Good actions might prompt for and reveal a changing heart, but I need to always be working on changing my mindset, my views, my perspectives, my heart. Then that heart MUST be demonstrated by good actions. And the work NEVER STOPS on this side of heaven. Our heart always has more room to expand and grow and learn. And our actions will keep reflecting that. A messier take on the chicken or the egg.

I need to do the hard work of seeing where I am arrogant, where I am self-righteous and where I am truly truly putting my security. Am I asking the right questions? Are my questions centering on my goodness or are my questions scary, uncomfortable invitations to see where I can shift and be more? Am I living a life that is truly sacrificial, where it actually hurts my own security, where it relies on faith, where it relies on the trust that if ETERNAL LIFE is what I believe and seek, then whatever I give up now in the present is a drop in the bucket! Currently, not really. I don’t only need to do better, but I need to be better. And if I truly believe I have it all and my soul is most important, what do I have to fear.

Prayer: God in my discomfort and inabilities, give me the courage to see how you see me and what you have in store for me, so that I can continue the work every day to be better and do better.

What hurts to sacrifice and surrender?

CBG: Sacrificial Love 2

June 2, 2020 — Leave a comment

Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you every thing.’ And out of pity for him, the mater of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from you heart.’

Matthew 18:23-35

This servant owed ten thousand talents. He was in the dumps. Every moment of his life is fogged by this heavy debt. His punishment for non-payment is slavery for his family. Because of his plea, the master forgave everything. The master didn’t give him a deferral or a payment plant. The master wiped the servant of ALL his debt and restored to him freedom and lightness.

This servant, in his freedom, in his newfound power and lightness, sees an opportunity to take advantage and make another person feel what he used to feel. He wants to amplify the power he just received. He wants to hold onto that top position by having someone under him, owe him, be humiliated by him. He used his newfound freedom and power to do the one thing he begged not to happen to him.

His experience of grace and abundance could not penetrate his deepest layer of fear and lack. He was forgiven. He was given the biggest proof that he would be taken care of, that he had the KINDEST MASTER but that was not enough. He still needed his own tangible security, a tangible feel of his power. How often do we experience such grace and abundance yet still listen to our fears and lacks? How often do we get an unexpected provision yet can’t spare a few dollars to a neighbor who needs a meal? How often have you experienced that lightness and freedom from God because you are beloved and that will never change, yet can’t stand someone in our own homes?

I’m guilty of this. It’s a lifelong practice to remember all we have, all we have been given, all the privileges and power we have, and from that lean towards forgiveness, generosity and kindness for others. The person might not deserve it, probably doesn’t! Neither did you. Neither did I. It’s easy to see parables like this and dismiss it as something we won’t do because it’s SO extreme. It’s not in the extremes that pain roots. It’s in the every day choices and words that slowly layer into merciless and hardened hearts. May we hold our power and privilege in ways that reflect God’s character.

Prayer: God help me practice in my daily words and actions a generosity and forgiveness, an unrelenting hope that reflects the truth of my belovedness.

Who can you forgive today even though they don’t deserve it?

CBG: Sacrificial Love 1

June 1, 2020 — Leave a comment

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death — even death on a cross!

Philippians 2:5-8

We preach this passage a lot. It’s the fuzzies. It’s warm. It makes us feel all things are possible. Hope, you know. Humility. AMEN. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. #humility #vibes

Let me break down what Jesus really did, void of the fluffy intentions we think and hope in theory we too “want” to enact. Jesus was GOD. He was safe. He was chillin’ in heaven palace. He was GOOD. He was SO DAMN GOOD, like 100%, Webster’s definition of GOOD. He was privileged. Shout that for those in the nosebleeds. JESUS WAS A GOOD DUDE WHO WAS PRIVILEGED.

And he gave it up. He gave up his status. He gave up his home. He gave up his accolades. He gave up his position. He gave it all up to be a vulnerable baby.

Guess what?! Then he earned that all back! Yes, he did! He learned the Bible like no other. He was the best preacher by far. He was a charismatic leader. People were throwing themselves on him. People were following him. People were sacrificing expensive perfume to wash his dirty feet.

And then he gave it all up. Again. Stripped himself of dignity, of voice, of clothes, of family, of community. Stripped. Humiliated. Silenced. Accused. Mocked. Became nothing. Again.

Why? Because he loved us. He loved us oppressed, up our asses, humans. He loved the vulnerable, the ugly, the messy, the undeserving, the imprisoned, the sick, the healthy, the greedy, the generous. He loved us. He saw what could be possible — a redeemed humanity. A humanity freed from greed and evil, of -ism’s and separations — a humanity restored. He broke himself and broke the system for redemption.

May we, may I, love in this manner. Can I give up my voice? Can I give up my place? Can I give up my status? Can I give up my achievements? Can I give up all the things I’ve earned for the sake of a redeemed humanity? Can I give up my life for the sake of a full soul?

Prayer: God make me this kind of woman, daughter, friend, sister, colleague, human.

What am I holding onto that I am unwilling to give up because I am afraid of losing my place and privilege?

CBG: Judas

May 31, 2020 — Leave a comment

After saying these things, Jesus was troubled in his spirit, and testified. “Truly, truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me.” The disciples looked at one another, uncertain of whom he spoke. One of his disciples, whom Jesus loved, was reclining at the table at Jesus’ side, so Simon Peter motioned to him to ask Jesus of whom he was speaking. So that disciple, leaning back against Jesus, said to him, “Lord, who is it?” Jesus answered, “It is he to whom I will give this morsel of bread when I have dipped it.” So when he had dipped the morsel, he gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot. Then after he had taken the morsel, Satan entered him. Jesus said to him, “What are you going to do, do quickly.”

John 13:21-27

Judas hung with Jesus, knew the guy, loved the guy. Judas was there supporting Jesus. He was there when he went against the Pharisees and those in power. Judas was in the inner circle. He helped with the miracles of supporting the vulnerable and the disenfranchised. He was doing the work. He was at the dinner table. There is nothing more intimate than sharing a meal. Judas was so close, one of the good guys, one of the friends. Judas was invited into Jesus’ heart, mission, purposes. He knew Jesus. He loved Jesus. He betrayed Jesus.

I pray that we do the work of dismantling oppressive systems. I pray that we give voice to those who are the most vulnerable. I pray that we can lay down our comforts and put our money down for the causes. I pray that we stand firm against evil, against white supremacy and against racism.

I pray most that we don’t forget we can all be Judas. We are all Judas. We can do the work and we can shout, out there and forget the friend right next to us. We can give our money and repost and forget to check ourselves at the dinner table. We can give our lives up and declare promises to do better, and in our safe inner circles when no one is looking, we harbor other thoughts.

I need to actively love my black friends and neighbors that are right in front of me, for my shouts for change to be sustained by a changing heart. I must get uncomfortable, put my ego aside, apologize when I haven’t done enough and check in with my friends and neighbors who are black and who I love, supposedly. If I don’t start here, what is my work for? I must do the work not for surface media coverage, but for true restoration, sanctification and redemption. That is not a momentary trending work. It is a life long discipline.

  1. If God is your judge, how would you be acting differently?
  2. Where have you felt alone this week?
  3. Where have you felt in community?
  4. What do you need?

CBG: Fire

May 30, 2020 — Leave a comment

When the Lord saw that [Moses] turned aside to see, “God called to him out of the bush, “Moses, Moses!” And he said, “Here I am.” Then he said, “Do not come near; take your sandals off your feet, for the place on which you are standing is holy ground.” And he said, “I am God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.” And Moses hid his face, for he was afraid to look at God. Then the Lord said, “I have surely seen the affliction of my people who are in Egypt and have heard their cry because of their taskmasters. I know their sufferings, and I have come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land to a good and broad land, a land flowing with milk and honey, to the place of the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Amorites, the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites. And now, behold, the cry of the people of Israel has come to me, and I have also seen the oppression with which the Egyptians oppress them. Come, I will send you to Pharaoh that you may bring my people, the children of Israel, out of Egypt.” But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?” He said, “But I will be with you, and this shall be the sign for you, that I have sent you: when you have brought the people out of Egypt, you shall serve God on this mountain.”
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Then Moses answered, “But behold, they will not believe me or listen to my voice, for they will say, “The Lord did not appear to you.”
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But Moses said to the Lord, “Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant, but I am slow of speech and of tongue.”
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But he said, “Oh, my Lord, please send someone else.” Then the anger of the Lord was kindled against Moses and he said, “Is there not Aaron, your brother, the Levite? I know that he can speak well. Behold, he is coming out to meet you, and when he sees you, he will be glad in his heart. You shall speak to him and put the words in his mouth, and I will be with your mouth and with his mouth and will teach you both what to do.”

Exodus 3:4-12, 4:1, 10, 13-17

Moses had the privilege to escape into the mountains to avoid the oppression happening in Egypt. His life was peaceful, maybe boring. It was quiet. It was a time of healing. It was a time of rest. It was a time of waiting. The oppression was and is still happening. Fine, he is scared and uncomfortable because God is speaking out of a burning bush. Moses had spent so much time away from others, he may have forgotten who he is because of the lack of relation. God doesn’t reject his fear; God says I will be with you. Fine, that might not feel enough because Moses is insecure and knows his weaknesses. God doesn’t mock his self-awareness; God equips him. Fine, Moses is still afraid and feels not enough. God doesn’t ignore Moses’ core pain; God says I am in control, trust me. FINE! Moses is still afraid. God doesn’t give up on Moses. God works with what he has and gives Moses a helper.

Fine. I am scared. I am aware of my inadequacies and my discomfort. I feel in my core that I am a coward and a fraud. I feel like I am culpable for the transgressions. I feel that I have not done enough. It feels a little too late. It feels like walking into a battlefield where people might not trust me and might hate me. I feel like someone else will do a better job. I feel like I still don’t have enough to know if I will come out alive and well at the end.

And to all this, Stop. Stop focusing on myself. Stop focusing on MY needs. Stop focusing on what I can do. How do I hold onto my identity as a child of God, equipped and sent out by God?

Focus on the oppression. Focus on the black lives that have been killed. Focus on the black lives that are always at risk. Focus on the families that have been destroyed, that might be destroyed. Focus on the evil of police brutality and white supremacy. Focus on the lives that have been murdered. Focus on the heartbreak, the sorrow, the grief, the anger, the injustice of it all. Focus on the task at hand: to upend the system for the sake of the least of our brothers. Meditate on God’s sovereignty and justice. Meditate on his ability to flip tables and destroy temples. Take a step at a time. Who are the helpers? Who can I help?

Prayer: God give me the courage to live like you love me and I am an instrument of your love, justice and power.

Character: Where am I focused on my discomfort and lacks instead of the task at hand that God has so clearly given you?

Grace: Remember the resurrection.

CBG: Offering

May 29, 2020 — Leave a comment

The apostles returned to Jesus and told him all that they had done and taught. And he said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. And they went away in the boat to a desolate place by themselves. Now many saw them going and recognized them, and they ran there on foot from all the towns and got there ahead of them. When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. And he began to teach them many things. And when it grew late, his disciples came to him and said, “This is a desolate place, and the hour is now late. Send them away to go into the surrounding countryside and villages and buy themselves something to eat.” But he answered them, “You give them something to eat.” And they said to him, “Shall we go and buy two hundred denarii worth of bread and give it to them to eat?” And he said to them, “How many loaves do you have? Go and see.” And when they found out, they said, “Five, and two fish.”

Mark 6:30-38

The disciples are exhausted. They were supposed to go rest; Jesus had encouraged them to go rest. But the people and the needs followed. And so un-rested, they continued to serve. The people came and Jesus gathered them, gave them his attention, his time, his presence. The disciples noticed and knew that these people would be hungry. They were thinking ahead and suggested that the people be encouraged to go get food. It made sense. This was a plan for everyone. But Jesus throws on them another task?! They’ve already served and gave up their rest! And now Jesus expects the disciples to also somehow find enough food to feed the thousands?! They’re tired. They’re spent. Jesus, give ’em a break!!

I would have said something sarcastic, too.

Jesus, oh Jesus, doesn’t meet our sarcasm with sarcasm. He simply asks, what do you have? What can we offer? What can you offer?

You’re tired. You’re exhausted. You’ve done good. You should rest. You’ve looked at needs and still kept giving. You are tired. You are exhausted. You can’t handle another impossible thing to do, to see, to have to help with. When you’re in that exhaustion, it makes sense to see the problem as too big, too impossible. It probably is. It probably will require too much that you don’t have. Say the sarcastic thing. Make a deprecating joke. Roll your eyes. Take a breath.

What do you have? You have something! It may seem small, but you’d be surprised if you step in with faith and courage. Your offering may seem minuscule compared to the obstacle in front of you. But, the step of offering even that, of focusing on what you do have, will show you the miracle that can happen.

Prayer: God I pray that you help me focus on what I can give and what I do have rather than just looking at the challenge and mountain ahead. God I pray that you help me take small steps to change, to act, to help. The faith of a mustard seed can move mountains. I trust that.

Character: Where have I focused on the mountain instead of my ability to walk up the mountain?

Grace: Where has God showed you his abundance in the midst of our lack?

CBG: Self-control

May 28, 2020 — Leave a comment

The Passover of the Jews was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. In the temple he found those who were selling oxen and sheep and pigeons, and the money-changers sitting there. And making a whip of cords, he drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and oxen. And he poured out the coins of the money-changers and overturned their tables. And he told those who sold the pigeons, “Take these things away; do not make my Father’s house a house of trade.” His disciples remembered that it was written, “Zeal for your house will consume me.” So the Jews said to him, “What sign do you show us for doing these things?” Jesus answered them, “Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.”

John 2:13-19

Jesus flipped over the tables at the temple. He made a mess with the coins. He caused the chaos and confronted the people who infuriated them. Those who were with him saw his passion. Those who didn’t know him or were inconvenienced by him demanded an answer for his actions. It’s a foreshadow. It’s a warning. It’s a sign of what is to come.

I do not condone violence when its intention and sole purpose is to harm recklessly and to showcase ego. Violence is an inability to express anger and an acting from an emotional clog/prison. However, I do understand an anger that can no longer be held in and must be expressed. Anger is helpful; it stems from a sense of injustice, pain and hurt. Anger expressed, not to make another small, but to shake someone awake, is necessary.

Self-control has been pillaged by interpretations stemming from a need to control, or can I say it, the white supremacy and patriarchy that has infiltrated our study of the Word. When I first hear of self-control, I think of this pushing down of desires that are “bad for you,” or a denying of your feelings for the sake of “something better.” Often this preaching of self-control is aimed towards women and people of color, or people who have lots of feelings. That is not self-control!

Self-control is an ability to understand one’s feelings and act righteously from those feelings. It’s not a denial of our desires. It’s not being ruled by our desires. The self in self-control demonstrates how strong one’s perspective can overtake the needs/good of others. So in order for the self not to go haywire with its wants, the control comes from seeing one’s desires in light of your grandest purpose and the people that may be affected by your want. Self-control is holding our desires and feelings without judgment to consider how it will affect us when expressed and those in the path of them.

Jesus in that temple is self-control personified. He knew and felt his anger. He wrecked his “Father’s house” which had been violated for capitalistic purposes. Yes, he was passionate, and his passion stemmed from his overflowing purpose. Jesus didn’t participate in a riot; he started a rebellion. Riots alone for the sake of destruction are not helpful, but rebellions that are part of a greater revolution to restore humanity, that we must be for.

Prayer: God I pray for a healthy way to express my anger that doesn’t destroy. God I pray for justice and my responsibility to enact it. God I pray for restoration and my role in it. God I pray for anger aimed for the sake of renewal and restoration.

Character: Where have I chosen to hurt others and myself rather than vulnerably express my anger?

Grace: How does God’s justice feel?

CBG: Gentleness

May 27, 2020 — Leave a comment

When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.” He said to him a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep. Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch our your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go.” And after saying this he said to him, “Follow me.”

John 21:15-19

Imagine if Jesus from the gitgo told Peter he was going to be crucified. Ouch.

It might have felt like that the crucifixion was part of Peter’s punishment for denying Jesus. That would have crushed Peter. There might not have been restoration. Always hanging on Peter’s head might be his once-upon-a-time major transgression.

However, Jesus is not cruel. He doesn’t make us grovel at his feet until he thinks we deserve forgiveness. He forgives. He knows we are fallible humans. He knows and he loves, and so he is perfect with his language and the timing of it.

Jesus layers. Jesus says as much as Peter can handle. He spends time so that we don’t just hear the truth, but we experience the speaker of the truth. If Peter hadn’t been prodded several times, he might not have added to his last response, Lord you know everything, and to that, Jesus prophesied Peter’s future.

Gentleness recognizes that every person is one step from either shutting down or opening up, and acts in a way that encourages the latter. Gentleness is not subject to time. Gentleness treats its subjects as treasures. Gentleness holds the present as the goal. Gentleness is a posture of meeting and honoring the fragile humanity in another.

Prayer: God I pray for a gentle posture when that is the most powerful way to connect to another human being. God I pray for salve in my words and kindness in my actions. God I pray for a felt strength in my gentleness.

Character: Where has your impatience or your control in timing led to unfruitful acts?

Grace: In what ways is God prodding you to be gentler with yourself?

CBG: Faithfulness

May 26, 2020 — Leave a comment

And [Jesus] said, “There was a man who had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, “Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me.” And he divided the property between them. Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in reckless living. And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. And he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate, and no one gave him anything. But when he came to himself, he said, “How many of my father’s hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.” And he arose and came to his father.

But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.” But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost and is found. And they began to celebrate.

Now his older son was in the field, and as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. And he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. And he said, “Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf, because he has received him back safe and sound.’ But he was angry and refused to go in. His father came out and entreated him, but he answered his father, ‘Look, these many years I have served you, and I have never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!’ And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost and is found.”

Luke 15:11-32

I want to be like the Father in this story: generous, quick to forgive and gentle. His younger son had squandered his money, disgraced the family name, broken up the family and yet, he sees the heart of the matter. His son was lost and is now found! Everything else — material, past hurts, pains — pale in comparison to this true victory! When his older son is angry, he listens and then beckons him in with love.

However, we are often like the children. Some days we are the younger son — impulsive, short-sighted and self-deprecating. YOLO at its finest. He goes from living big and large to forsaking his identity to become a servant. Other days we are very much the older son — rigid, slightly resentful and victim-prone. He lives his life in a particular order from a place of obligation and systems rather than from freedom and love. The sons are so involved with themselves that they miss the presence of their father, their reason, their security, their everything.

The father is faithful both to the son who hurts him and to the son who resents him. He sees his sons, their identity that cannot be marred by circumstances. He remembers how they were as children. He remembers how they have loved him and needed him, and truly will always need him. He hopes even when he’s been hurt. He draws near even in the face of hard impenetrable armor. He sacrifices his goods because they are not sacrifices; they are celebrations! The father is faithfulness embodied. Faithfulness defies reason. Faithfulness draws from love. Faithfulness is an unbreakable vow that can’t be explained with words. Faithfulness is a promise to hold and love even when the object of our affections doesn’t return the same.

Prayer: God I pray for a faithfulness to your sanctification and your guidance. I pray to be tethered to nothing else, but your call and purposes for my life. I pray that that faithfulness to you will bring me to places that make no sense, people that make no sense and purposes that are aligned with your heart.

Character: Where, what and who have you been holding out of obligation?

Grace: Where, what and who have held you?