Day 14: Pointing to a way doper Joseph: J. Christ!

December 30, 2018 — Leave a comment

Genesis 43-45; Psalm 14

What it must have taken for Joseph to not only forgive his brothers, but to embrace them with such compassion? He moved from mere forgiveness to generous and open grace. He no longer blamed his brothers but rather saw his situation as part of God’s plans. He was vulnerable in his weeping. He didn’t forget what happened to him; he put it in context with where he is right now.

The brothers didn’t do anything but be honest. They received what they did not deserve. It was a situation and a gift too big they could not understand.

I mean this is essentially the gospel. God loves us not with just enough, but overwhelms us with unimaginable love. He doesn’t hold what we used to be against us, even though he could reaccount every last detail. Instead he rejoices at where we are in the present. We do not need to do anything, but be honest and vulnerable with where we are at and accept the love. Accepting the love is accepting that God really truly loves us to the moon and back and back again, and his greatest act of that was showing us Jesus. We are human and we needed an example, a way to see that made sense to us. Well, his death and resurrection doesn’t fully make sense because it’s both so horrific and so open. But in his life, death and rebirth, can we see the depths someone would go to affirm they love us? Can we see the non-obligatory love? Can we see an utter forgiveness, acceptance, compassion and relentless hope? Yes Jesus!

Day 13: Let go & hold on

December 29, 2018 — Leave a comment

Genesis 41-42; Psalm 13

Surrender the timing. Surrender the narrow ideas of how things must pan out. Surrender a need to know exactly why you are where you are. Surrender a complete knowing. Surrender the things that are out of your control. Surrender your idea of what being enough looks like.

Own your gifts and talents. Learn from your shortcomings. Be quick to apologize and be quick to acknowledge you can do better. Be eager to help others regardless of who they are. Ask for clarity and ask for signs. Cry out when you hurt. Cry out in vulnerability. Be honest about your longings but don’t grow bitter when the longing doesn’t manifest. Maybe it’s not yet. If it’s a good desire, it’s certainly a not yet.

God uses each of us specifically. Take an inventory of who you’re surrounded by, what gifts you have, where you’re rooted, what you’re passionate about and how you hold onto hope right now. God uses the open and available.

Day 12: Success despite circumstances

December 28, 2018 — Leave a comment

Genesis 38-40; Psalm 12

The Lord is with Joseph so he was successful. The Spirit is with me so I will find favor and be successful. How do I define success? How do I define find favor? In Joseph’s case, he was still in bondage, tempted daily, at the mercy of his circumstances and helped those around him be successful. But in all circumstances, he walked with integrity and walked in his giftings. Is being successful, essentially having the freedom to act in spite of circumstances? Is success a grounded rooted patience? We are obsessed with success, but what’s the kind of success we should strive for that helps us stay with integrity and faith? What kind of success attracts our enemies? What kind of character grounds that success? I want to be this kind of success.

God guard my tongue and my words. Words can build up or words can tear down and help me to do more the former and ask for forgiveness whenever I do the latter. Help me to take a breath before I want to jump into negative or hurtful talk, because out of my heart the mouth speaks, and I want to be aware and have control when my heart is deviating and acting UP.

Day 11: Reality and Redemption together

December 27, 2018 — Leave a comment

Genesis 35-37; Psalm 11

When good arises from bad, people often bring up, what Joseph says: what man intended for bad, God used for good. This is by no means a justification to do bad and condone evil. In the in-between between the evil deed and the redemption ending, we need to uphold how terrible is the former. We should not look at suffering, injustice, cruelty, poor systemic structures, natural disasters, offenses, inhuman relational acts, and lessen their sting by saying well good will come from this, or God has a purpose for this. NO that is missing the point. It’s too separate things and until we reach the other side of redemption, we should not so callously ignore the pain that is often our reality. God is redemptive but until we are there and can look back with healing and forgiveness, those who were hurt can breathe and know God has been with them this whole time, we must stay in this tension of the here and not yet: Evil is the reality and God’s hope exists. How do we straddle acceptance of the present with a confidence of a future hope? How can a future hope help us through a tough present without rose-color-coating the now? How can we be fully here with a mind that holds to a one day God redeems all?

Sides:

1. Reuben is mentioned specifically twice. He sleeps with his fathers’ concubines. Boooo! He tells his brothers not to kill Joseph but to leave him in a well. Eh. What an example of the complicated spectrum of human being?

2. God tests the righteous. Can we replace tests with refines, develops, grows, helps reflect? He tests because he sees our openness to receive and shift. So when you’re being tested, what good quality is God saying you have but merely needs to be kneaded out to the surface?

Day 10: Purity culture

December 26, 2018 — Leave a comment

Genesis 32-34; Psalm 10

When they talk about sex, the Bible refers to it as “being known.” That’s sweet; the intimacy and connection that is at the heart of sex. The OT has so many stories of non-consenting sex as well. Women are often raped. Dinah here is defiled, because she was raped and treated like a prostitute. The lack of consent and the using of another’s body are where the injustice exist. Has the Christian world drawn the boundaries for sex too close-minded? Rape, non-consent are wrong. We cannot cross to that. But where is the line between that and being known? Is the purity culture created out of fear because it lacks a trust in people to act out of wisdom? Yes, we should value our bodies as if they are sacred like temples. How do we define value? Upholding Consent and choice? How does the purity culture create more fear and bitterness rather than freedom? What is good in the purity culture that we can learn from? Is treating our bodies with respect the goal? Who gets to define that?

God I pray for the peace and knowledge of knowing how to honor my body without strict fearful boundaries. I pray for fear to go away when it comes to my body and sexuality. I pray for a freedom with wisdom when it comes to my body and sexuality.

Day 9: Striving for Worthiness

December 25, 2018 — Leave a comment

Genesis 29-31; Psalm 9

Leah kept conceiving in hopes that she would finally be enough for her husband. She kept giving of herself to get the love and worth that would get her to stop trying for the love and worth. Isn’t that us? Isn’t that our lot in this life, to keep trying until we feel we are enough? When will we feel the worthiness that we are innately so that we can stop trying to gain, but live a life simply as a way of praising God? How can I live my life, each moment as an opportunity to acknowledge I am already worthy? God help me to stop striving for my worth because the people around me make me feel not enough, because I fall into the trap of comparison, because I don’t always feel beautiful.

Your Word says you are here for the oppressed and those who are in affliction. Let me trust that about you. Let me be an instrument to show that you are a God who cares for the least of us.

Day 8: An ugly past

December 24, 2018 — Leave a comment

Genesis 25-28, Psalm 8

Jesus, help to understand your Word in light of your ultimate showcase of love and hope. Jesus help me to see your integrity and commitment to women in the midst of stories about Abraham calling wives concubines and men taking wives like they are property in the Bible. Jesus help me to see that the table is big enough for all of us despite Jacob stealing Esau’s birthright and blessing. Jesus help me to see that your ways of truth and compassion are better than Jacob and Rebekah’s shady ways. Jesus help me to see your true equality in spite of the blatant sexist patriarchy in the Bible. I’m beginning to really not like the Word. Our history is pretty messed up and ugly. Help me to not be defined by that ugly past not only from the Bible or in my own life, but by the renewal you have given me by showing me I am loved and worthy already. Jesus help me to see that you are mindful of all of us, created each of us specifically so you can care for each of us personally.

Day 7: Letting Go to receive better

December 23, 2018 — Leave a comment

Genesis 22-24; Psalm 7

God “tested” Abraham to see where his true love is: is it God or is it God’s blessing? It feels incredibly cruel that God would put Abraham through the ringer like that. Where is the good in this? God isn’t testing Abraham for his own sake, right? He must be doing for Abraham’s sake, so what does Abraham gain from this? Abraham learns he is one that keeps his trust in God regardless of what God can provide. If you can sacrifice the thing you love the most for the one you trust the most, it really means you have it all. Abraham probably experientially knew God is all he needs and that nothing in this world can touch him. If he can let go and surrender fully, he can do anything. He was put through the ringer so that he would know that his life must be a life of faith. It is a life of faith. God desires us to be free from anything in this world that will hold us back from living a life that is beyond our comprehension. And often if we measure by human ways, it doesn’t make sense. I must always go back to God as a God of good and compassion.

When God offers his son on the altar, who was testing him? He need not be tested because he was fully surrendered to his character of grace and forgiveness. Jesus like Isaac did ask once, if there was another way, but when he knew he was the only way to fully prove God’s love for us, he too surrendered. God went through the pain that Abraham didn’t have to go through. Even though he knew glory was to follow, the pain was realer than ever. Do not pass over the reality of pain and of today’s broken world, just because we know one day Revelation 21 will be true. Today we are still here.

God help me to surrender all things that hold me back from living a life of faith — surrender my negative thoughts, my tendency to compare, my narrow expectations. Let me imagine a life of faith — doing the things that make no sense of humanity but are in a vision of kindness, redemption, humility, and compassion.

Day 6: God lives by a different standard

December 22, 2018 — 1 Comment

Genesis 19-21; Psalm 6

The men of Sodom tried to gang rape the angels. Lot offers his virgin daughters instead. Lot’s daughters rape their dad. God destroys a city. Abraham and his wife Sarah are technically siblings. Sarah tells her husband to abandon his son and servant. Abraham abandons his son.

The Old Testament is certainly not trying to make people look good. God destroys a city? That doesn’t make him look that good either, does it? It’s hard reading the Bible. People use the Sodom story to be against homosexuality. No, God is against gangbanging and rape, not homosexuality here.

What have I learned about God? I cannot measure his ways with my human understanding.

What have I learned about humans? We suck often.

What have I learned about me? I’m over this part of the story and just want to get to the good parts.

Day 5: The Bible annoys me

December 21, 2018 — Leave a comment

Genesis 16-18, Psalm 5

Can we apply Abraham’s pleading with God to spare Sodom to Jesus’ pleading with God to spare us? He is the righteous one so can that mean we are all spared from destruction?

Reading Psalms and the constant righteous vs evil feels very us versus them. Well I guess that also assumes we are the righteous and “they” are evil. Who is the righteous? Who actually follows the law of God? What is the law of God — to love God and to love others? Who’s God?

The more I read the Scriptures the more annoyed I am by the people God has chosen to be used, the more questions I have and the more I need to keep reminding myself God is good and we suck and yet he uses us.

And I also see the pitfalls of reading Scripture out of context. Every passage is a bit of God’s big story of redemption and love. Every ick points to God’s big grace. If I didn’t have Jesus, which is the biggest example of God’s love, I would be longing and irritated forever.