community

Lent Day 34: I give up The Need to Impress You

March 22, 2021 — 1 Comment

The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

Isaiah 58:11-12

I give up my need to impress you. I give up my need to cater to your needs. I give up my need to make sure you feel okay with how I’m feeling. I give up making myself small so you don’t feel threatened. I give up diminishing myself so you can feel better. If your worth comes at the expense of my worth, I cannot feed into your need. If your liberation comes at the expense of my liberation, I cannot feed into your fight. If your rise can only come at the expense of mine, I do not want to be part of your journey. God is my guide. God is my strength. God has determined that I am whole, worthy and full. I will not let you take that from me. I give up being less so you can feel more. That is not love or kindness; that is short-sighted and incomplete existence.

Lent Day 27: I give up Woes when I have Wins

March 15, 2021 — Leave a comment

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?

Isaiah 58:6

I give up my narrative of chains when my reality is freedom. I give up my narrative of lack when I am clearly living in abundance and choice. I give up coloring my life with woes when the evidence around me are wins. I give up the safety of saying I have little for fear of being judged or worst, for fear of having to share more. I have much and it is detrimental to not take ownership of that. Is it fear? Is it habit? Is it a way to hide? Is it a warped way to actually still live in scarcity and hoarding culture? God teach me how to live with both my feet in the same story. God teach me how to hold little and much equally loose. Whether I have riches like Solomon or two coins like the old woman in the Gospels, may I use it all to the best of my ability to expand love and community.

Lent Day 24: I give up Clinging

March 12, 2021 — Leave a comment

The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and you will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

Isaiah 58:11-12

I give up clinging. I give up the reality of living in a cave, protective and in the dark. I want to be a garden, a delight and a gift for others as well. I want my health to be enjoyed by those around me. I want to share my joy, share my healing, share my journey, share myself with those who step into our shared spaces. I give up gripping and clinging. I want to flow like the rivers in the garden. I want to bloom like the flowers. I want to be, without a need to impress or a need to show off — just as I am is beautiful.

Lent Day 21: I give up Unworthiness

March 9, 2021 — Leave a comment

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and to break every yoke?

Isaiah 58:6

I give up discarding the freedom God has already granted me. I give up hiding in the former ways because it feels more familiar. I give up putting on the coat of unworthiness when God has claimed me as worthy. I give up re-chaining what God has set loose. I give up going my way when God has planted me in their way. I pray I stand and live and soak and bask and enjoy and celebrate the body and space I now stand in, truly stand in according to God’s love and promises.

Lent Day 20: I give up Human Relations Tactics

March 8, 2021 — 1 Comment

You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

Isaiah 58:11-12

I give up trying to impress everyone. I give up trying to play the game of being the friendliest in the room. I give up the tactics of networking and commodifying human relationships. I want to connect, the way that feels kind and true in my body. I want to see people. I want to know people. I want to be a spring, a well that isn’t obsessed with doing the connections, but is flowing connection vibes from the inside. Make me this sort of people attracter, keeper, holder, builder.

Lent Day 19: I give up Disconnection

March 7, 2021 — Leave a comment

The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

Isaiah 58:11-12

I give up curating a community that makes me feel comfortable. I give up curating a community that makes me feel unchallenged and right. I give up curating a community of relationships that cater to my needs. I give up writing people off because of my initial reactions and hurt. I give up unforgiveness because it makes my life less complicated. I ask for a grace and understanding that springs from an immense love for all humanity. I ask for an undying hope in humanity. I ask for new eyes to see those who have hurt me as those who are hurting or have been hurt. I ask to be refreshed and renewed so that I will be a well-watered garden for all to find rest and joy.

Lent Day 17: I give up One Foot In Generosity

March 5, 2021 — 1 Comment

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untied the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter–when you see the naked, to clothe them, and not turn away from your own flesh and blood?

Isaiah 58:6-7

I give up half-ass generosity. I give up generosity with a caveat. I give up generosity with one foot in my expectations for a return. I give up generosity that is calculated. I give up generosity that is rational. I give up generosity that is wishy washy. I want to live in a generosity that makes me a second nervous about my own comfort. I want to live in a generosity that doesn’t require me to be seen by people, and definitely makes me need to be seen by God. That kind of overwhelming shit-should-I-I-need-to-right? generosity. Open my heart. Open my wallet. Open my schedule. Open my hands to hold others. Test me God!

Lent Day 14: I give up Gatekeeping My Joy

March 2, 2021 — Leave a comment

The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.

Isaiah 58:11

I give up boxing in and holding down my joy in anticipation of disappointment. I give up lessening my joy for fear of losing it. I give up holding in my joy for fear of it being taken away. Let us revel in joy not to get the spotlight, but to share the spotlight, and to be a reminder that goodness and hope prevail even if in this moment they seem faint. I give up squashing celebration. I give up partying small. I give up gatekeeping my joy when it can be an encouragement.

Lent Day 12: I give up Playing Small

March 1, 2021 — 1 Comment

The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.

Isaiah 58:11

I give up playing small. I give up standing in the back afraid to take up too much space. I give up dimming my own light in some wicked “false humility” stance. I trust that if I am given strength, it is to make those around me strong as well. If I have been given any wisdom, it is to be an example and a guide for those around me. If I have been filled and satisfied, it is because I have the ability and opportunity to do the same for those around me. We are made to be well-watered gardens, both beautiful and full in itself, and a gift for others to experience. My God is too big for me to play small.

Lent Day 9: I give up My Limited View of Brethren

February 25, 2021 — Leave a comment

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter — when you see the naked, to clothe them, and not turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.

Isaiah 58:6-8

I give up damaging boundaries of who is and who is not my own flesh and blood. I give up tribalism. I give up excluding people from “my community.” I want to reimagine who is my responsibility, who is my joy to call brother and sister, who is part of me. I want to feel the depths of interdependence God intends, right from the beginning. God is community and as I am in God, thus you are in me. I give up feeling that my love and my resources can only be limited to certain folks. My love and my resources are ever overflowing, if I remember my ever flowing source. My well can always be full when I remember the good God that desires to fill it.