devotional

CBG: Sacrificial Love

May 4, 2020 — Leave a comment

Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with out hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Hebrews 10:19-25

What an elaboration of the summation verse from 1 Corinthians 13, And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.

Why is the blood of Jesus and his flesh necessary for us to enter the holy places? What is the holy places? As a humanity, we too, need a human manifestation to viscerally and holistically know and experience God. That is the significance of God in the flesh, God on earth, God among us as Jesus Christ. It’s our way into the sacred through the profane. It’s our way into our holy through a form our current beings can understand. The blood of Jesus, (if we are willing to look beyond the nature of a violent gruesome capital murder because it eventually leads to the most glorious of rebirths), point to an unfathomable sacrificial love. A love so deep and free from any obligation on our part that it pulls us in. Sacrificial love is the ultimate way into connection and vulnerability. That is what exists in the holy places. It is a sanctuary before and with God that is void of any pretense and armor. In that place the unnecessary burdens and cares of this world fall away and we are built up with hope and faith to reenter to love and encourage others.

Through the sacrificial and visceral love of Jesus Christ, we are able to access a vulnerability that cleanses us and builds us up to in turn love and sacrifice others. Without the former, it can feel exhausting and impossible to do the latter. Without the former, it can feel obligatory and unnecessary to do the latter. Without the former, we cannot fully access vulnerability. It’s all about the love. It has to start from there, and we have full access to it.

Prayer: Lord, help me to always play the love, see the love, know the love that is in you. God help me to lay my armor down. God help me to be an encourager instead of a hater. God help me to live in a confidence marked by sacrificial love.

Character: Where have I let doubts and worries tamper my hope?

Grace: What does it feel like when I am in the holy places?

CBG: Agenda

May 1, 2020 — Leave a comment

The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst they said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law of Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus, said, “Neither do I condemn you; go and from now on sin no more.”

John 8:3-11

How often do we use people as examples for our own agendas? We miss the humanity right before our eyes and aim only to protect our own culture. How often do we get tunnel vision because of our own agendas? We ask the wrong questions and are shocked by answers that reveal our own pain. How often do we think in terms of old narratives to justify our own agendas? We miss the new life right before our eyes. I hope every accusation we have against another is a truer opportunity to self-reflect and shift. I hope our grip on old ways of living that gave our lives a sense of certainty and structure would give way to a more faithful, unpredictable journey of undoing and relearning.

I hope we know that unlike humans who are wrapped up in self-agenda, God does not condemn us. He doesn’t condone the harmful ways we live and act, and he beckons us to change in privacy. He doesn’t expose us as a display for other humans to learn. God exposes us so we can experience an intimacy and a connection. Even as God tells us to sin no more, he knows that’s impossible on this side of heaven. What he is encouraging us is to do is make a choice to turn from our former ways that amount to deeper pain and loneliness, and instead to turn to a new way of wholeness and faith. It won’t be perfect, but simply because it’s a continual act does not mean we don’t keep trying.

Prayer: To stop justifying, figuring things out, testing God. To see what’s presented before us and receive.

Character: What actions, thoughts and stories create more harm, self-reliance and disconnection in your life? What is the cost of shifting?

Grace: Where in you life have you felt the grace of God over and over again?

CBG: Judgment

April 30, 2020 — Leave a comment

I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people — not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler — not even eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.”

1 Corinthians 5:9-13

My blood boils. The intolerance. The judgment. The contradictions in this compared to Paul’s previous statement about not judging. I keep reading the verses to understand. I read it again, through the “lenses of a good compassionate God.” I read the whole passage — okay, this was in the context of Paul addressing a man sleeping with his stepmom. Okay, okay? This passage still pisses me off. What about that plank in your own eye, Paul?! Church people?!

Can I toss this passage away? Why was it included? Because a set of old white men decided what should be the canon?! Why was this included? What does it reveal about Paul? About us? About God?

Look out: Paul was on the far, far other side before Jesus. He was a proud, angry, over-educated man of society. I wonder if he still carries those traits into his new self. I wonder if his “passion” and once-again certainty makes him say things without thinking about the emotional impact of others. I wonder if he’s so desperate for people to know a transformative Jesus that he himself is impatient when he doesn’t see how others aren’t already on the same page as him. Paul is flawed. Paul is imperfect. Paul can be wrong.

Look in: …name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler — Christian, you are that brother. How quick we are to point to that person whether it’s in pity or in disgust. How quick we are to judge and dissociate. Are we cutting others out to protect our image and flow? Or is knowledge of another’s behavior information for us to tailor our acts of grace and patience for them? Is knowledge of another’s behavior fuel for us to take personal responsibility to be less greedy, less manipulative, more careful with our words and more focused on God’s call on us?

Look up, in & out: God can handle our questions and our doubts. God doesn’t fit in human wisdom. God’s grace and compassion are boundless. God warns to draw in. God love to change. God shifts our behavior, our thoughts, our whole beings.

Prayer: God help us move from anger to action. God remove the parts of us that want to be tribal. God help us work through uncomfortable relationships.

Character: Who have you been judging? What does your judgment reveal about you?

Grace: Where do you feel not enough for God and for others? How are those exact places your unique power for the community?

CBG: Wisdom

April 29, 2020 — Leave a comment

Yet among the mature we do impart wisdom, although it is not a wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are doomed to pass away. But we impart a secret and hidden wisdom of God, which God decreed before the ages for our glory. None of the rulers of this age understood this, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. But, as it is written,

“What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him” —

these things God has revealed to us through the Spirit. For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of god. For who knows a person’s thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given us by God. And we impart this in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the Spirit, interpreting spiritual truths to those who are spiritual. The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned. The spiritual person judges all things, but is himself to be judged by no one. “For who has understood the mind of the Lord also as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ.

1 Corinthians 2:6-16

One annoying thing I experience in Christian culture is the language we use. There is nothing more irritating to my ears than Christian-ese, the terms and the tone we employ to explain the spiritual plane. I fight hard against this by concrete examples. I may be tempted to say God is my provider, has never forsaken me and instead will say well for the last…forever of my life, I have always had food and shelter. Or instead of the hope of Christ keeps me going, I’ll say, I know evil and death are not the end of the story; I don’t believe that and I know that in my core. Even that smells slightly Christian-ese. (Cringe.) I can’t speak for others, as much I want to generalize my own experiences to the general J.C. community, that sometimes I drop Christian-ese because it’s a means of protection. It’s a bubble around what’s tender and precious work in my insides, yet nonetheless a bubble others can nod and say AMEN to. And in those moments, when I am approached with a gentle, patient and safe curiosity, the bubble can pop.

However, however, there are times when our explanations full of hearty evidence fall short. It’s this feeling you can’t fully put into words. It’s this depth of peace that feels fraught to box up for another. It’s this immovable knowing that feels precious reserved for me and God. The wisdom and the strength of God are often unexplainable in humans terms. It’s a relationship that is so core and so unfathomable that we can merely attempt to describe in part by our inability to describe it fully. It’s that wave of the sacrificial love on Good Friday, the utter pain of Holy Saturday and the speechless victory of Easter Sunday. It’s those moments when I feel the most faith and certainty about God. It’s also in those moments when I wish more than anything that those around me can feel it too. How much I long for everyone to know and experience the love of Christ. May we all “understand” and “experience”, without boundaries that plane of holy existence. This is the power of faith that the Spirit of God is indeed at work. Oh no…Christian-ese…

Prayer: Ask God for the wisdom, hope and love you cannot fully explain.

Character: What do each of our fears need to experience peace?

Grace: Where have you seen provision that is beyond what you thought was possible?

CBG: Humility

April 28, 2020 — Leave a comment

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interest of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not county equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

Philippians 2:1-8

On those fuck the world days, this passage is irritating and feels overindulgent, a passage meant only for those with no worries and so much #SoBlessed. On days when I’m not incessantly fending off lies about my worth and instead feel a softness in my heart to receive wisdom from above, this passage carries an impossible task written for a fairy-tale world, and I live in a real, real-messy land.

What is it about humility that offends our nature? Why is it so preached yet rarely ever experienced? Yet the greatest leaders among us are usually marked with this coveted trait.

It’s a long-enduring work-in-progress character journey that involves ever-evolving antagonists and obstacles. Humility wins don’t come with fanfare and victory marches. It’s a surrender of power. It’s a choosing of an inner power over an outward display. Humility is often misjudged by those who are wrapped up in their own egos, (which is most of us). Others’ projections can make us feel that humility is insignificant, even laughable. Humility is always uncomfortable and vulnerable. It makes another feel space and power, and that can be risky for our space and power. If humility comes with such grueling work, why pursue it?

It pulls you more into a centeredness that makes you firm in all circumstances. It grows your empathy to see all as part of the same humanity. It focuses you on your calling, your purposes. It gives you greater access to forgiveness and awareness of judgement. Its presence, even if you are not aware of it, and usually you shouldn’t be, transforms those around you. It is the ultimate display of immovable power and identity.

Prayer: Only by your grace and Spirit can I even inch into this kind of character and living. Help me to surrender where I sense helplessness. Help me to encourage where my words can soothe. Help me to step back where I do not belong. Help me God.

Creative: Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interest of others. — Make a list of both and compare.

Brave: emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant — Where can you surrender status?

Generous: complete my joy by being of the same mind — Who needs you to remind them they are not alone?

CBG: Exposed

April 27, 2020 — Leave a comment

Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loinclothes. And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

Genesis 3:7-13

Do you remember those days when you ran and danced around not thinking about how others viewed or judged you? You skipped in innocence and a lack of self-consciousness. You didn’t think about hiding because you didn’t even know you were exposed. You didn’t think you were in danger because you had no issue with being you, full and present.

That was what we lost in the garden. That is what we lost when we shifted from being a child feeling completely enough to the planting of the lie that we are not fully worthy. This is what we experience every time we feel judged, we close up, we protect. Often there is a real fear and we need to survive. Not everyone should have access to our most precious parts.

When we choose to hide and protect, is it out of fear or is it out of wisdom? When we close up, are we afraid that someone will see the deepest parts of us because we think they don’t deserve it, they might hurt us or it’s our only form of “power?” Is your protection and hiding actually more work than showing up fully even if it risks vulnerability?

How can we be fully exposed before God? Dear child, God wants it. He wants it! That is the only thing he wants: your full self, uncovered and in acceptance. God is compassionate. God is patient. God is gentle and kind and will draw nearer and nearer. May we not run. May we not blame. May we not continue these cycles of escape and shame. May God remind us that we were made to be exposed fully. Cultivating this relationship and space, is the ultimate education and practice to do it in the presence of others. If God can endure all of us, what can a mere human being do? It’s usually their own projections and insecurities anyway.

Prayer: God where am I hiding and locking in? God where do I need room? Fear and shame have no power in your presence.

Creative: Look at yourself in the mirror for a few minutes. Really look. Who do you see?

Brave: To whom in your life are you hiding from? Why? What would it look like to feel safe in that person’s presence? How can you build that?

Generous: Support a small business or freelancer for Mother’s Day!

CBG: Remind

April 24, 2020 — Leave a comment

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor, he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of prison to those who are bound, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion — to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified. They shall build up the ancient ruins; they shall raise up the former devastation; they shall repair the ruined cities, the devastations of many generations.

Isaiah 61:1-4

We do not need to strive and work on perspective. We need to be reminded of our purpose, our power and our priesthood. We do not dismiss our feelings and our exhaustion. In the midst of all that, we remember our calling. It is through your feelings and your exhaustion, that the power of your calling lifts your head slightly and helps you take another courageous step. We do not need to put things in perspective nor think of the “bigger picture” or “how things will work out…eventually.” That type of pulling ourselves up and reworking our minds by our own strength can feel disingenuous, forced and lead to guilt if we “fail” What we need is a reminder that we have already been anointed and NO ONE, NOTHING can take that stamp of worth away. You, are not made for small things. You, are not created for the trite and trivial. You, were created for transformation and restoration. You, right where you are now, have all the power and strength, to be the reflection of God. Now this reminder is scary. This kind of reminder can shed the unnecessary and set our hearts straight.

Prayer: God remind me of who you are and who I am. Help my heartbreak point in the direction of transformative justice. Help my sadness point to communal comfort. Help my fears point to your former and forever abundances and provision.

Creative: Read these verses over yourself. Feel it. Embrace it. Where does it refresh your body? Your heart? Your mind.

Brave: What part of this scripture scares you? Can you step in?

Generous: What part of this scripture excites you? Can you live in?

CBG: Body

April 21, 2020 — Leave a comment

You have kept count of my tossings, put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?

Psalm 56:8

This is a needed reminder that God cares about our pain, our losses and our sorrows. While we are encouraged to surrender our pain to God and not keep a record of wrongs, we can trust that there is always someone who knows.

Can this also not apply to the Holy Spirit that is in our body? That the Holy Spirit in our body is also holding our tears and our pains? On the bright side of things, this can mean the deepest intimacy of holding space. The Holy Spirit that is not separated from us, but working through and in us is immediately available to hold our tears and pains. With that nearness, redemption and relief can also be immediate. Do you recall those moments when in an instance something’s lifted, you feel lighter, you feel transformed? On the tougher end of things, which always exists on this side of heaven, it also means our bodies remember trauma. Our bodies hold sadness. Our bodies have memories of hurts and losses. Even after Jesus was resurrected, his hands and feet still carried the traces of his trauma. Where can we fit hope into this? Your body is a temple, a holy place, your friend, your sanctuary. Honor the feelings and memories it gives you access to. How can awareness lead to gentle comfort and patient expansion or realignment? How can you be grateful for your body’s wisdom and history, yet know its true purpose is to point to a redemptive future? For all the talk in the Bible about the body, for the greatest act of God in human form, we must honor our holy selves that are marked by this human body.

Prayer: God, where do I hold my sadness? Where do I hold my anger? Where do I feel your Spirit? Where can I let you expand my heart?

Creative: Give yourself 5 minutes to take an inventory of your body. Thank it.

Brave: Wonderful Fear Setting exercise by Tim Ferris

Generous: Who needs you to “hold” them today?

CBG: Blank

April 20, 2020 — Leave a comment

But Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues at Damascus, so that if he found any belonging to the Way, men or women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem. Now as he went on his way, he approached Damascus, and suddenly a light from heaven shown around him. And falling to the ground he heard a voice saying to him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?” And he said, “Who are you, Lord?” And he said, “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. But rise and enter the city, and you will be told what you are to do.” The men who were traveling with him stood speechless, hearing the voice but seeing no one. Saul rose from the ground , and although his eyes were opened, he saw nothing. So they led him by the hand and brought him into Damascus. And for three days he was without sight, and neither ate nor drank.”

Acts 9:1-9

Saul is so angry. The root of anger is a sense of injustice. His system is being attacked. This system where he derives his purpose and identity is being threatened. Because God forbid his system is wrong. What would that mean for his life, his mission, his identity, his everything? He needs to protect and no one better get in his way! And there was probably nothing on this earth that could convince him to do otherwise. So God pulls the God card – appearing as a voice from heaven, and so real that even Saul’s companions can hear it. This coronavirus feels like a God card, blinding us from the path we were set on and making us dependent on whoever is nearby whether we like it or not. Saul doesn’t know he’s going to get his sight back. Saul doesn’t know he’s about to commit his life to the one thing he would never in a million years do. Right now his anger and confidence are simply knocked away by a sense of helplessness and dependancy. An unknowing of what just happened. An unknowing of what will happen. All he has is a certainty that Jesus is real and a nothingness before him.

Prayer: God please show yourself in the blank. What you have stripped away I surrender. What you are preparing I want to receive it.

Creative: Do something that makes you laugh.

Brave: Who do you want to be in 10 years? If you are that today, what is one thing you would do?

Generous: Is there a small business, restaurant, non-profit you can support whether financially or with a thoughtful note?

CBG: Reflection

April 19, 2020 — 1 Comment

O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.
.
.
Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous ways in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139: 1-5, 23-24

Self-reflection and quiet meditation to hear God’s voice are courageous acts. It requires surrender. It acknowledges that you don’t have the full picture. It allows another to reflect who you are. When we have the right God — one who is kind, compassionate and ever-for-our-good — we learn to trust being seen. And if we are in consistent practice with God, it will overflow to our trust in being seen by humans. Take some time. Sit with the questions. And whatever form responses come is perfect.

  1. How have you been brave?
  2. Where has fear dictated how you acted?
  3. Who are you when you are quiet?
  4. Who do you want to become?
  5. What questions do you have for God?
  6. How do you want God to respond?