devotional

Lent Day 40: I give up My Agenda

March 28, 2021 — 1 Comment

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter — when you see the naked, to clothe them, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

Isaiah 58:6-9

I give up my agenda, in exchange for a divine proposal. I give up my agenda, in exchange for divine appointments. I give up my agenda for God’s timing. I give up my agenda for a life that I alone cannot conjure up or imagine. I give up my agenda of getting even. I give up my agenda of proving myself. I give up my agenda that doesn’t involve God and humanity and the earth. I give up my agenda so I can listen to the voices of my ancestors and hold the generations that will come after me. I give over the procession to God and I anticipate their entrance. Happy Palm Sunday.

Lent Day 39: I give up Passing Over the Unexpected

March 27, 2021 — 1 Comment

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter — when you see the naked, to clothe them, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

Isaiah 58:6-9

I give up feasting on my own so that I can feast with the unexpected. Happy Passover. I give up feasting without knowing the healing power of the table. You are welcomed here. I give up feasting without seeing who around me also needs to be fed. We’re in this together. I give up fasting so that together we can feast oh how far we’ve come, what and who we are made of, and where we are heading. Let’s expect the unexpected with curiosity and love.

Lent Day 38: I give up the Shame around Being Too Much

March 26, 2021 — Leave a comment

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter — when you see the naked, to clothe them, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

Isaiah 58:6-9

I give up the shame around feeling like I’m too much. I do have big wants. I do have big dreams. I have high hopes for our humanity. I imagine heaven is possible. I believe that hope is possible. I believe that healing is possible. My strength lies in my ability to still want so much and believe too much when there exists the high and painful risk of disappointment. I never want to lose that ability to dream and imagine. I want that to be my guide. I want to hold in my heart the possibility of Revelation 21 and the reality of the Garden of Eden. There is beauty. There is hope. There is togetherness. There is a nakedness that is welcomed and loved. I pray that I allow for these things that make me bright and big.

Lent Day 37: I give up Feeling Responsible for it All

March 25, 2021 — Leave a comment

Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like noonday. The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

Isaiah 58:9-12

I give up Feeling responsible for things I cannot control and things that are not on my plate. I give up the Burdens I have personally laid on my shoulders, that no one wants me to hold up. I give up the Yoke I’ve chained to myself so I can keep my head down and my body heavy. God give me faith to lay it all down at your feet, my fears, my burdens, my desires, my dreams – knowing they are in good hands. I can trust my important and unique place in this world and in my community without walking around like its fate lies on me.

Lent Day 36: I give up Hiding that I want to be Loved

March 24, 2021 — Leave a comment

Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

Isaiah 58:8-9

I give up not admitting, all I want is to be loved. I give up pretending that my biggest desire in the whole while world isn’t to be loved. I give up hiding the truth that I want to be seen, I want to be loved, I want to be wanted. I give up the lie that this need, this want is bad. This need and this want drive me to be most human, most generous, most vulnerable and most available. I want my desire to be loved and my desire to love, love, LOVE to be a fireworks show of care, healing and good ‘ol fun.

Lent Day 35: I give up Closing Up

March 23, 2021 — Leave a comment

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter, when you see the naked, to clothe them, and not turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

Isaiah 58:6-9

I give up closing my heart and my hands when I know, and this I do know, in my heart, in my body, in my soul, that when I open my heart and my hands, I will receive in ways I could never have imagined. God, keep my heart and my hands open. God, keep my eyes ready to see you. God, keep my ears ready to hear you. God, please keep me soft and open.

Lent Day 34: I give up The Need to Impress You

March 22, 2021 — 1 Comment

The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

Isaiah 58:11-12

I give up my need to impress you. I give up my need to cater to your needs. I give up my need to make sure you feel okay with how I’m feeling. I give up making myself small so you don’t feel threatened. I give up diminishing myself so you can feel better. If your worth comes at the expense of my worth, I cannot feed into your need. If your liberation comes at the expense of my liberation, I cannot feed into your fight. If your rise can only come at the expense of mine, I do not want to be part of your journey. God is my guide. God is my strength. God has determined that I am whole, worthy and full. I will not let you take that from me. I give up being less so you can feel more. That is not love or kindness; that is short-sighted and incomplete existence.

Lent Day 33: I give up Imposed Timelines

March 21, 2021 — Leave a comment

If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath and from doing as you please on my holy day, if you call the Sabbath a delight and the Lord’s holy day honorable, and if you honor it by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, then you will find your joy in the Lord, and I will cause you to ride in triumph on the heights of the land and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob. For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.

Isaiah 58:13-14

I give up the timelines I impose on myself. I give up this sense of urgency that is founded on scarcity and fear. I give up on doing so much for fear that if I stop, I’ll lose my place. I give up running at the speed of panic, living at the speed of panic. I give up your schedule for me. I give up your imposed deadlines on me. I give into timelessness. I give into the right timing. I give into trusting in God’s perfect timing. I give into the extra breath I need to take right now. I give into the rest I am called to live in.

Lent Day 32: I give up Staying out of the Unknown

March 20, 2021 — Leave a comment

The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

Isaiah 58:11-12

I give up expecting God to show up in ways that make me comfortable. I give up expecting God to show up in ways that make sense to me. I give up demanding that God show up in a way that aligns with how I want things to go. I give up blocking out how God has chosen to guide me, satisfy me, lead me, grow me, teach me, raise me, be with me. I am grateful for the people God shows up through. I am grateful for the opportunities that are divinely appointed. I am grateful for the guidance into spaces I feel unready to venture into, even though my heart knows it is in the unknown that I will find magic.

Lent Day 31: I give up The Paths that don’t Lead to Joy

March 19, 2021 — Leave a comment

If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath and from doing as you please on my holy day, if you call the Sabbath a delight and the Lord’s holy day honorable, and if you honor it by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, then you will find joy in the Lord, and I will cause you to ride in triumph on the heights of the land and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob. For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.

Isaiah 58:13-14

I give up pursuits that don’t lead me back to the joy of the Lord. I give up ways of thinking that are not founded on the joy of the Lord. I give up finding strength in things other than the joy of the Lord. What is the joy of the Lord? It is the certainty that good prevails. It is the certainty that the sun will rise tomorrow. It is the faith that God has incredible mind-blowing plans for each of us. It is the faith that choosing love and goodness and kindness and vulnerability are better! May the joy of the Lord soothe my tender broken parts, and give me a courage to share my love and self generously.