devotional

Lent Day 9: I give up My Limited View of Brethren

February 25, 2021 — Leave a comment

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter — when you see the naked, to clothe them, and not turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.

Isaiah 58:6-8

I give up damaging boundaries of who is and who is not my own flesh and blood. I give up tribalism. I give up excluding people from “my community.” I want to reimagine who is my responsibility, who is my joy to call brother and sister, who is part of me. I want to feel the depths of interdependence God intends, right from the beginning. God is community and as I am in God, thus you are in me. I give up feeling that my love and my resources can only be limited to certain folks. My love and my resources are ever overflowing, if I remember my ever flowing source. My well can always be full when I remember the good God that desires to fill it.

Lent Day 8: I give up Duplicity

February 24, 2021 — Leave a comment

And if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.

Isaiah 58:10-11

I give up duplicity, saying I live in behalf of the oppressed, yet desiring the lifestyle of the oppressors. I give up believing that the treasure and the light are in the high and mighty and beautiful social-media liked platforms. I give up looking for satisfaction in my oppressors — those who don’t see me, those who don’t believe in me, those who are not making a way for my freedom. I give up, I let go, I will work till my dying breath, to not be an oppressor. I choose to see people. I choose to believe in the humanity and goodness of others. I choose to make liberation available for all. I want to believe that the land I’m in right now, this sun-scorched land where I feel beaten and weak and so close to need, is exactly where God will do the mightiest work.

Lent Day 7: I give up Half-Ass Change

February 23, 2021 — Leave a comment

Is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for people to humble themselves? Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed and for lying in sackcloth and ashes? Is that what you call a fast, a day acceptable to the Lord?

Isaiah 58:5

I give up management strategies. I give up tacking on more To Do’s and Best Practices to live my Best Life. I give up the never-ending search for self-improvement. I give up the kind of change that exists mostly on the outside. I give up changes that mask the bigger issues I’ve been too scared to address. I want real transformation. I want transformation that sticks. I want transformation that expands how I see myself, how I see others and how I see the world. I want transformation that could not be fashioned by human ways; the divine and the community had to come into play. I want divine transformation. I give into divine transformation that stops me in my tracks. I give into divine transformation where I know, without a doubt, God is at play.

Lent Day 6: I give up Staying Caged

February 22, 2021 — 1 Comment

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?

Isaiah 58:6

I give up the ways I imprison myself. I give up living in bitterness and resentment over small and trivial matters. I give up wasting my energy on projects and people that don’t align with integrity and kindness. It is not my responsibility to align people with me. I give up letting others co-opt my own sense of integrity, kindness and courage. I give up caging myself in when the prison door has flown open. I give up thinking I don’t deserve to be free. I am free. I’m going to chase after freedom. I set my mind on freedom. I set my heart on freedom. I’m going to make sure others are free as well.

Lent Day 5: I give up Neat & Cute Crying

February 21, 2021 — Leave a comment

Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here I am.

Isaiah 58:9

I give up trying to figure it out on my own. I give up trying to figure it out in a neat and cute way. Screw you neat! Screw you cute! Screw you there’s just one way to shout. I give up screaming on the inside and being scared of shouting on the outside. I give up looking neat and cute in my need for help. I give up not wanting to be needy. I give up not wanting to cry. I give up not asking for help. I give up seeing my outward expressions of need as burdens. I give up the lack of trust that when I call, someone will answer. Someone will answer. People answer. God answers.

Lent Day 4: I give up Scarcity

February 20, 2021 — Leave a comment

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter — when you see the naked, to clothe them, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

Isaiah 58:6-7

I give up scarcity. I give up hoarding for fear of running out. I give up withholding when I can give. I give up thinking that if another gets, it takes from me. I give up these ideas rooted in white supremacy, that there are only so many seats at the table. I give up seeing flesh and blood, my neighbor, the person in front of me, as separate from me. I lean into faith by giving just a little. I lean into faith by giving a little more than I feel comfortable doing, aware that even if I give too much, it will come back. God always provides. I lean into giving knowing that there is enough to share. I lean into Jesus’ miracle of the 5 loaves and 2 fish. I lean into Jesus’ witness of the women who gave all her 2 coins. I lean into giving it my all. I lean into knowing the reward comes back in the moment and in the future. Generosity is seeing flesh and blood as my lucky responsibility and that I do have the means to make another feel seen, loved and important. Abundance is knowing without a doubt that generosity is integral not only for others who are hurting and lacking, but also for my well-being.

Lent Day 3: I give up The Need to Keep it Together

February 19, 2021 — Leave a comment

Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

Isaiah 58:8-9

There is dark so light can break through. There is hurt so healing can appear. There are moments of lapse in judgment and poor behavior so righteousness can once again shine through. There is fear so the glory of God can push me to take my next step. There is my need for help that leads to my call to God. I let go of only holding onto what’s to come without acknowledging how I feel right now. I do not need to be okay right now. I do not need to look okay. I do not need to collect myself. I get to accept, embrace, be angry, be sad, be needing right now in this moment. Because my breakthrough comes when I realize this part of myself — the part that is messy, scared, lonely, angry — is just as beautiful. I give up needing to present only the side of me that works for the people around me. I give up spending energy trying to make those around me comfortable when I am shriveling up inside. I allow myself to be all in, in the pain with hope for the joy, in the sadness with expectation of the renewal, in the fear knowing if I dare to take just one step in faith, I will fly.

The Four Agreements

February 18, 2021 — Leave a comment

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Ephesians 4:29-32

Did The Four Agreements just rip off these verses?

1. Be impeccable with your word. Only speak what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. How often do we speak for OUR benefit, not the audience? How often do we speak thinking of the person we are speaking to, and their needs? Be impeccable with your word — speak truth, speak love, speak grace and encourage with your words!

2. Don’t take anything personally. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. How often do we harbor what’s done or said to us and allow it to eat us a live? How often do we make another’s projections a reflection of ourselves when that only harms our sense of worth? When you catch yourself getting bitter, rageful, slanderous and malicious, check in with your ego. Is it bruised? Can you not react from that hurt, but rather first give yourself kindness and then enter into the next conversation with vulnerability and kindness still?!

3. Don’t make assumptions. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. How can we see each other from the best intentions? How can we see each other with more grace than feels “deserving”? Would you want the same for yourself?

4. Always do your best. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit. There is GOD in YOU! Live up to that potential. Let it live you! Let it shine through you! You were made to shine and do your best. Surrender to that truth.

The Undeniable Pleasure of God’s Ways

February 16, 2021 — Leave a comment

That, however, is not the way of life you learned when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self; created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.

Ephesians 4:20-28

It’s not enough to tell someone not to do something without giving them what to do. It’s not enticing enough to tell someone to let go of their former ways without presenting new ways that are magical and mindblowing. Without what’s possible and what’s waiting on the other side of no, we don’t have the fuel and hope to keep going when things get hard. Without the yes and renewal that are our greater possibilities, it feels like mere muscling and work to keep turning away from the former ways that make our minds smaller and our dreams dimmer. I need to be turning away INTO something that takes my focus and expands me. I want to be looking at, feeling, grasping the way of God that feels so much yummier than my old ways that force me to armor up, wall up and separate from others.

It is not enough to tell someone to be vulnerable, trust, feel safe, think of something greater. We must also make connection, community, unity, intimacy, hope, renewal, righteousness, the ways of God undeniable. The ways of God lead to a purpose that is beyond words. They lead to a peace that throws everyone off in times of suffering. They lead to a grounded place that is surrounded by shaky circumstances. The ways of God are possible and beautiful, and by the Spirit, we have access to these renewing, grounded, free ways of being. I pray that we stop doing the former ways because we can’t help but do the new ways. I pray for an opening of our hearts and our minds for a healing and a togetherness that are beyond anything we can make up in our minds. It has to be from God!

Soften Our Hearts

February 15, 2021 — Leave a comment

From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed.

Ephesians 4:16-19

When I think of a hardened heart, I think of the Pharaoh that refused to let the Israelites go even though there was sign after sign of God’s power. The Pharaoh insisted on his oppressive ways and his ego, rather than the safety of his own people and the well-being of those he held captive. I always tripped up over the part where it says God hardened the Pharaoh’s heart, so wasn’t it God’s fault that the Israelites were held captive because God was the puppet master behind Egypt’s cruel systems? God allowed for the Pharaoh’s heart to be hard and allowed for Moses to have the power and might to lead the Israelites into freedom. God can allow for both sides — the cruelty and imperfection of the world and God’s redemption and grace. What the Pharaoh demonstrated is a harm and ignorance that comes out of a hardened heart and unwillingness to take in what is happening which leads to an inability to change.

Sometimes life darkens our thoughts and perspectives so much that we cannot see the grace of God or how God can take this current situation and bring out good. Life can be cruel. Life often is cruel. And over time, this can actually desensitize us, moving us from feeling the pain to feeling that pain is simply reality. This can either happen when we put up walls to not have to feel the world so much. This can happen when we take active steps to disconnect from the world and pain: addictions, unhealthy codependence, survival tactics. When we disconnect from the heartache of the world and the reality that things in this world are not right, we also disconnect from God’s grace and redemption. You need both. They are two sides of the same circumstance. Grief makes room for joy. Incompletion makes room for unity. Longing makes room for fulfillment.

Without this recognition that there is a God that is good, that is on your side, that is looking out for you, that will pull you through, (unsure how), we can seek after other things that do more harm. We can fill up with these things that don’t fully satisfy yet keep returning for more hits. We can have so much, yet feel empty.

Acknowledge the heartache and set backs. Acknowledge the anger and injustice. Acknowledge that you have desires and longings that are not fulfilled. It takes faith and courage to acknowledge and be vulnerable to our humanity. Here, God can do his magic. Here, God can rain down his grace and reminders. Here, God can show you a way that requires patience and faith and a greater purpose that satisfies and connects you with the whole.