genesis

Rest

September 24, 2020 — Leave a comment

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.

Genesis 2:2-3

When God sensed the completion of his work, he rested. He rested from the work of creating and called that day of rest, holy. What if you don’t sense the completion? What if the work you’re doing seems unfinished? Where does rest belong in the unfinished business of earth?

Our work on earth to dismantle systems of oppression continues. Our fight to tear down fascism, racism, sexism, ageism, I feel exhausted, simply trying to name it all. In a world where evil lurks in every corner, our work to battle and reclaim seems never-ending. How can this declaration of rest (which churches love preaching) fit in to our continual unfinished work? How do we not use the idea of self-care simply as an excuse to stop doing the work we are called to do as ambassadors of light?

If I draw back on the trajectory of Genesis 1, God took things in stride and developed his creation over time. He created light on day 1 and created man on day 6. Each day in a sense had its own creative purpose and goal. After the daily accomplishment, God waited until the next day to layer on. Each “day” came to a completion, followed by a “daily” rest. That “week” came to a creation completion, followed by a “weekly” rest.

On this side of heaven, we will remain unfinished and in process/progress. However, it doesn’t mean the idea of completion doesn’t apply. Little c, completion is correlated with the every day task at hand. Give each day the small steps to live by and accomplish, and with that, give each day the appropriate rest to enjoy following through. It will take a lifetime to dismantle oppression and evils, but the daily work to grow your heart, create something good and take responsibility for what God has entrusted deserve moments of rest. In these moments of rest acknowledge that God is good and evil will not prevail.

Hide & Seek

September 20, 2020 — Leave a comment

When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden and in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, ‘Where are you?’

Genesis 3:6-9

What makes me so sad in this passage is the need to cover up exposure and nakedness. Wisdom robs us of an innocence that allows us to be free and naked, unafraid to trot as we are with everything we have out there. Wisdom somehow made our nakedness and another’s nakedness something that was not appropriate for the public. Somewhere between innocence and wisdom, shame snuck in. And I hate shame.

The shame that causes us to hide from each other. The shame that causes us to hide from God. The shame that causes us to hide from ourselves. Shame put barriers between us and other, us and God and within ourselves. Because this shame can be planted in us so early, it’s hard to know what life feels like without it. What does life feel like without shame? What will it take to reclaim a sense of innocence and openness? What “wisdom” is helpful and gives us a way to draw boundaries and separate from that which is evil? But what “wisdom” only seeks to separate and cover up because it gives you an impression of “safety” even if underneath that is shutting in/shutting down? I hope we can hold to wisdom without anger and guilt because truth is we are post-Garden of Eden and we have access to wisdom now. So while you hold to your wisdom, how can you also find the early seeds of innocence that allowed you to be open, to trust, to feel so connected to another, you didn’t ever need to hide or curate?

Imogen Heap – Hide & Seek: Isn’t that our life anthem? Can we shift to more of a Keala Seattle – This is Me soundtrack?

The calm before the fill

September 16, 2020 — Leave a comment

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

Genesis 1:1-2

God resides in the emptyness and in the creation.
God is there for the formless and for what will take shape.
God is there for the empty and for the filling.

God is there when you feel like you’re in a void, when you’re at the beginning, when you’re feeling lost and spent. God hovers over his creation with purpose and creates and forms in stride. More than that, the Spirit of God is in you. So even when you feel separated and empty, the Spirit of God is stirring inside ready to create a masterpiece. Well, more than that, God has already created a masterpiece and is simply waiting for our minds to catch up to that truth.

Where in your life do you feel empty? Where are you feeling anxiety to fill what feels like a lack? Sometimes in the beginning, insecurities, fears and crushing expectations flood in to take up the space of God’s intimacy and quiet. Can the longing instead point to a truth of God — that he provides, that he is good, that he is wise in timing, that he creates for good? Can this start of something new be filled with joyful anticipation and hope instead of exhausted pre-filled disappointment? Yet how do we get from that place of lack and dark to a place of openness and faithful expectation?

By embracing and acknowledging the empty and the longing. By looking back at examples whether in the Bible or in your life when Jesus pulled through. By praying so hard that there is no time and room for fears to take hold. By filling your mind with songs of praise and worship and promise. By embracing the empty and filling it with the Spirit of God and trusting that as that filling takes place, it will manifest into a fullness you can experience on this side of heaven.

CBG: Goodness

May 25, 2020 — Leave a comment

And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. And God saw that the light was good.

And God said, “Let the waters under the heavens be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear.” And it was so. God called the dry land Earth, and the waters that were gathered together he called Seas. And God saw that it was good.

The earth brought forth vegetation, plants, yielding seed according to their own kinds, and trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.

And God made the two great lights — the greater light to rule the day and the lesser light to rule the night — and the stars. And God set them in the expanse of the heavens to give light on the earth, to rule over the day and over the night, and to separate the light from the darkness. And God saw it was good.

So God created the great sea creatures and every living creature that moves, with which waters swarm, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.

And God made the beasts of the earth according to their kinds and the livestock according to their kinds, and everything that creeps on the ground according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.

And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.

Genesis 1:3, 9-10, 12, 16-17, 21, 25, 31

A satisfaction where there used to be a lack. A fulfillment where there used to be a need. A fullness where there used to be emptiness. A way of life that makes sense where there used to be stagnancy. Purposes accomplished where there used to be nothingness to strive towards. A right way of being that aligns with the heart of God where there used to be a white canvas of possibility.

Goodness leaves us in awe of what is and what can be. Goodness shows us the possibility of humanity working together and for each other. Goodness humbles us to look up and say, wow. Goodness warms hearts, souls and bellies that were hungry. Goodness closes the distance between relationships. Goodness creates the unexpected that was the exact thing that fits. Goodness demonstrates the wholeness and communion of God.

Prayer: God help us see the wonders and beauties around us. God help us see ourselves as part of the wonders and beauty of your handiwork. God make us creators of wonder and beauty in our relationships, our words and our work.

Character: In what ways have I neglected the good that is me, that is others, that is the world?

Grace: How does your body and mind respond when you are satisfied?

CBG: Exposed

April 27, 2020 — Leave a comment

Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loinclothes. And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

Genesis 3:7-13

Do you remember those days when you ran and danced around not thinking about how others viewed or judged you? You skipped in innocence and a lack of self-consciousness. You didn’t think about hiding because you didn’t even know you were exposed. You didn’t think you were in danger because you had no issue with being you, full and present.

That was what we lost in the garden. That is what we lost when we shifted from being a child feeling completely enough to the planting of the lie that we are not fully worthy. This is what we experience every time we feel judged, we close up, we protect. Often there is a real fear and we need to survive. Not everyone should have access to our most precious parts.

When we choose to hide and protect, is it out of fear or is it out of wisdom? When we close up, are we afraid that someone will see the deepest parts of us because we think they don’t deserve it, they might hurt us or it’s our only form of “power?” Is your protection and hiding actually more work than showing up fully even if it risks vulnerability?

How can we be fully exposed before God? Dear child, God wants it. He wants it! That is the only thing he wants: your full self, uncovered and in acceptance. God is compassionate. God is patient. God is gentle and kind and will draw nearer and nearer. May we not run. May we not blame. May we not continue these cycles of escape and shame. May God remind us that we were made to be exposed fully. Cultivating this relationship and space, is the ultimate education and practice to do it in the presence of others. If God can endure all of us, what can a mere human being do? It’s usually their own projections and insecurities anyway.

Prayer: God where am I hiding and locking in? God where do I need room? Fear and shame have no power in your presence.

Creative: Look at yourself in the mirror for a few minutes. Really look. Who do you see?

Brave: To whom in your life are you hiding from? Why? What would it look like to feel safe in that person’s presence? How can you build that?

Generous: Support a small business or freelancer for Mother’s Day!

CBG: #20

April 9, 2020 — Leave a comment

“I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. And now do not be distressed or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. For the famine has been in the land these two years, and there are yet five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvest. And God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant on earth, and to keep alive for you many survivors. So it was not you who sent me here, but God.”

Genesis 45:4-8

One summer night when I was in college, I drove 12 hours through the night from Annapolis, Maryland to Martha’s Vineyard to surprise my boyfriend. He was vacationing with his family and had mentioned several times in our phone calls that he wanted me to join them. It was a long drive through torrential rain. Thankfully very few cars were on the road and there is coffee, though shitty still coffee, at gas stations. When I finally arrived the next afternoon in MV, my boyfriend said he couldn’t come pick me up from the dock because he was playing golf with a mutual friend of ours. I. Lost. It. Imagine the whitest happiest place on earth and smack in the middle of that joy is a sobbing Asian girl. I did not give a f*ck who heard me, who saw me and where I was. I was so angry and hurt.

Today while I was journalling that memory rushed into my mind. It often does when I need an example of how I had a shit boyfriend. As I was reminiscing on that time, it hit me that I had crashed my boyfriend’s summer vacation. I had crashed his family’s — a family that did not allow us to sleep in the same room whenever I stayed over at their house — long standing vacation. I sprung all of me — dramatic, expectant, pouty — onto his quiet calm vacation. Um. Oh. Ooops. A revelation a decade later isn’t too late, right?

Are we drowning in our side of a story because we are hurt and we have expectations? Are we unable to see the other perspective because one, we can’t, like Joseph pre-famine or two, because we don’t want to see our culpability? It is easier to put on the armor and view life through our hurt and our needs. I am not saying to be a door mat and never consider your own perspective. What I am encouraging myself and you to do is expand the story. Expand the plot so that you’re not the only main character. No good story revolves around one player, and your beautiful tapestry of a narrative involves everyone, their hurts and their needs as well.

Prayer: God show me the balance between perspective and presence.

Creative: Where are you wrestling between mind & heart, rationale & gut? Let them have a conversation.

Brave: What’s one thing you can say no to that you’re afraid to turn away?

Generous: Tell someone their testimony of redemption means a lot to you.

Day 7: Letting Go to receive better

December 23, 2018 — Leave a comment

Genesis 22-24; Psalm 7

God “tested” Abraham to see where his true love is: is it God or is it God’s blessing? It feels incredibly cruel that God would put Abraham through the ringer like that. Where is the good in this? God isn’t testing Abraham for his own sake, right? He must be doing for Abraham’s sake, so what does Abraham gain from this? Abraham learns he is one that keeps his trust in God regardless of what God can provide. If you can sacrifice the thing you love the most for the one you trust the most, it really means you have it all. Abraham probably experientially knew God is all he needs and that nothing in this world can touch him. If he can let go and surrender fully, he can do anything. He was put through the ringer so that he would know that his life must be a life of faith. It is a life of faith. God desires us to be free from anything in this world that will hold us back from living a life that is beyond our comprehension. And often if we measure by human ways, it doesn’t make sense. I must always go back to God as a God of good and compassion.

When God offers his son on the altar, who was testing him? He need not be tested because he was fully surrendered to his character of grace and forgiveness. Jesus like Isaac did ask once, if there was another way, but when he knew he was the only way to fully prove God’s love for us, he too surrendered. God went through the pain that Abraham didn’t have to go through. Even though he knew glory was to follow, the pain was realer than ever. Do not pass over the reality of pain and of today’s broken world, just because we know one day Revelation 21 will be true. Today we are still here.

God help me to surrender all things that hold me back from living a life of faith — surrender my negative thoughts, my tendency to compare, my narrow expectations. Let me imagine a life of faith — doing the things that make no sense of humanity but are in a vision of kindness, redemption, humility, and compassion.

Day 4: The birth of the prosperity gospel

December 20, 2018 — Leave a comment

Genesis 12-15, Psalm 4

I used to praise Abraham for leaving everything behind and going because God said go, but let’s be real — God promised him BLESSINGS and he also took ALL his possessions with him. He took his comforts and continued forth because of promised additional comforts. Prosperity gospel much? And then how selfish and patriarchal for Abraham to allow his wife to be raped for his own safety? He’s disgusting. How many of us are like him? We disguise our hoarding and desire for riches with faith in God. We sacrifice the wellbeing of those around us for the sake of protecting our riches. This smells like American Christianity. Then lest we forget what else God also promised Abraham: that his descendants will be sojourners and servants in a land not their own for 400 years. So please don’t be alarmed when your riches don’t pan out for you. Don’t get mad that this obstacles and challenges are also part of the plan. Maybe this hard part is the blessing as well. Why does God include these parts and choose people like Abraham? Who knows! He chooses imperfect, selfish people not because of anything they have done but because God will work. So don’t be ALL HONORED if you’re chosen to bring forth God’s plan; it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with God’s bigger plan.

God help me to trust you even when/if I am in those 400 years of slavery, but know that because of Jesus no bondage on earth is truer than the freedom of being Whole and 100% in Christ. Please remove the prosperity gospel from my heart. Help me to trust that all this is part of your plan of redemption.