Numbers 14-16; Psalm 44

Sometimes we are so stripped down from all our comforts and thrown into the wilderness simply called to trust, that it brings out the nastiest of things. With no material and physical thing to hide behind, we are exposed and see the ugliness in our hearts. It can bring up fights, distrust, relational dissonance, melodrama and so forth. It is super uncomfortable to be exposed. It is harrowing to hold onto nothing but God and a supposed future hope. It feels naked. It feels at times not right. Shouldn’t faith and being with God kook peaceful and easy? Didn’t he promise to bless us? Didn’t he promise to be with us?

My prayer for me and for you is that God’s adventure for us makes us bold and courageous warriors. That we own up to our fears and doubts and sorrow. That we beg and beg for continual faith and provision. That we never lose hope that tomorrow can and will be better. I pray that our radiant faith shines here and makes those around us wonder how it is possible for us with so little and so little security, joyful and vulnerable. I pray that we are in states that demand faithful living, like the kind where you’re always on the brink of breaking and any breath of fresh air feels a million bucks. Now that’s living on the edge.

In our fear and anger, may we not take it out on others. I always do. Forgive me. Help me.