gospel

Be a Witness of Hope

January 7, 2021 — Leave a comment

Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, ‘Sit here while I go over there and pray.’ He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.’ Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.’ Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. ‘Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?’ he asked Peter. ‘Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.’ He went away a second time and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.’ When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing. Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, ‘Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!’

Matthew 26:36-46

The truth is always something that is told, not something that is known. If there were no speaking or writing, there would be no truth about anything. There would only be what is.

Susan Sontag

Jesus’ time at Gethsemane might be ‘the calm before the storm,’ the ‘storm’ being his torture & execution. While I think what is to come is horrible, this moment before is equally scary, maybe even more devastating. In this moment, Jesus is at the edge of a cliff, knowing he needs to jump but cannot even see the bottom. Jesus feels the depth of sorrow. Jesus feels the loneliness with his friends asleep. This task is for uniquely for him, and only he can fulfill it.

The gap between knowing what needs to be done and doing the thing reveals our fears and our faith. How do we get from our ego to a kind of living that thinks beyond ourselves which incorporates God’s will? How do we arrive at a place where our will aligns with God’s will, not out of obligation, but out of love and purpose? How can we act from a place of surrender & sorrow? How can we act from a place of service when what we witness breaks our hearts? How can we become witnesses of surrender & a will greater than ourselves?

Bring your defeats, your doubts and fears to God. Be radically honest. I pray God honors your honesty with radical trust. Live out of that radical trust that you have a great purpose. When you can sense and see the sorrow of this world, yet choose to go on, you are a witness of hope.

Hope is a Habit

January 6, 2021 — Leave a comment

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Romans 5:1-5

First forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you whether you’re inspired or not. Habit will help you finish and polish your stories. Inspiration won’t. Habit is persistence in practice.

Octavia Butler

Before ALL else, we have to come back to our justification in Christ — that through the death and life of Jesus, we all have access to God. There is nothing we need to do besides believing that there is a God that loves us beyond our minds can comprehend. God loves us so much that he displayed a tangible example for our humans minds to comprehend. Because we are justified, we have faith and we have grace. Because we are justified, we have hope and we are marked by the last word of God, which is that good triumphs evil and love triumphs all. Out of this wholeness and faith, THEN, can we also boast in our suffering because we know in this context suffering builds us up. Suffering gives us habits and structures to get through every-changing circumstances with integrity and character. Suffering creates a moral road map for our ever straying hearts. When we endure and come back to the glory and justification of God in the midst of suffering, we are building incremental changes in ourselves that make hope more visible in this world. We do not suffer or persevere for its own sake; we do it all in and for hope. There will be moments when you don’t feel like going on. There will be times when you don’t feel led to persevere. Come back to the promises and days when you felt wrapped up in God’s hope and glory. Can you remember how you felt in those moments? Can you see how where you are not is so different than where you used to be? Can you see that even when you don’t feel it, God is at work? If in the valley, we can come back to our first truth of justification and find seeds of past & future promises, hope will eventually break through! Just look at Georgia!

The Gospel

September 29, 2020 — Leave a comment

For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile. For in the gospel the righteousness of God is revealed — a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: ‘The righteous will live by faith.’

Romans 1:16-17

Now more than ever, I find it so hard to answer the question, are you a Christian? There is so much baggage and preconceived notions wrapped up in the identification. There’s also a kind of flexing that might result from identifying as such. How often do you see people who identify as Christians spew the most hate, live the most selfishly and taint the beauty of God? They claim a holy Biblical standard that they don’t adhere to or doesn’t allow to penetrate into any relevance or impact on this side of heaven.

Then I used to say, well…yeah…I love Jesus, this more heart-centered way to express how and for who I live my life. But then it gets kind of wooo wooo and I feel myself throwing out disclaimers and trying to fluff up what I mean by that.

That is why I’m so moved by the simplicity in this passage. I believe in the gospel. I am not ashamed of the gospel. I am built up and led by the gospel. I believe that God loves the world, loves us so much and wants our wholeness and holiness felt fully. God demonstrates his love and hope through Jesus Christ, who lived a life full of purpose, forgiveness, radical love and miracles. We get to believe this dude was for real because if he was that means we too can have access to lives of deep purpose, forgiveness, radical love and miracles. And I believe the gospel because I believe God is ALWAYS with me. The Holy Spirit lives in me and reminds me of my worth & sense of home. So I believe in the gospel. I believe that hope has the final say and that transformation is inevitable. This is what I believe and I am not ashamed of it.

The Testing of Friendships

September 7, 2020 — Leave a comment

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?’ ‘Yes, Lord,’ he said, ‘you know that I love you.’ Jesus said, ‘Feed my lambs.’ Again Jesus said, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ He answered, ‘Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.’ Jesus said, ‘Take care of my sheep.’ The third time he said to him, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, ‘Do you love me?’ He said, ‘Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.’

John 21: 15-17

It doesn’t feel good either to be the recipient or the reason for a broken relationship. A bad conversation. A surprising revelation of one’s character. Two life paths diverge because of exhaustion, unresolved resentment or lack of interest. Relationships build us up and tear us down, and we want the kind that tear down our walls, not our worth.

How often are we like Jesus, the one who was rejected and abandoned, yet also the one who later seeks out reconciliation? How often are we like Peter, set on our timeline of forgiveness and reconciliation and hurt when it doesn’t go as planned?

True friendships are difficult. The ones built to last go through fires, fights and forgiveness. It requires courage and humility to be the first to approach even when you have been wronged. It requires vulnerability to outwardly ask for care and respond with care. The journey of moving through different seasons of relationships often contain hurt, pain, repetition and uncomfortable intimacy. True friendships are worth it because as messy as the relationship between Jesus and Peter is, they exist when two people with the same mission towards humanity find each other. That is rare and testing in these scenarios can only survive if the calling and purpose remain at the core.

If you didn’t hold so dearly to your pride and ego, who would you reach out to? If you didn’t worry so much about your reputation or the sunk cost of friendship building, who would you let go? If you think about your deepest purposes in life, who do you feel safe to share those deepest secrets?

Monday Map: Radical Friendships

July 13, 2020 — Leave a comment

This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another.

John 15:12-17

At first blush, I get the warm fuzzies. Friendship goals! Sacrificial love! Laying down your life for your friends. Until you read that friendship with God requires you to follow his commandments. What friendship is contingent on my obedience? Friendship with God! What do I gain? The Father’s message. So…? Bearing fruit. Okay…? The ability to love one another. Is it worth it to sacrifice my autonomy to obey Jesus to know God and to love others?

  • What is your relationship with obedience? What images, feelings, people, colors come up for you?
  • What fruit do you actually want to bear? Economic? Relational? Emotional? Character?
  • What do you gain from loving others beyond what they can give back to you?
  • What’s missing from your friendships?

Ask God for the relationship you want with them. Ask God for the friendships you need.

CBG: 100

July 1, 2020 — Leave a comment

100 posts. What started out as a project for my friend and I became a tracker of my emotions, longings and conversations with God. I gave myself permission to question and to doubt. I let myself be angry and sad, while in the Word. My honesty and my learning are welcomed in the presence of God. How I feel on 3/25 can evolve on 5/25; dear God I hope it will always! While I don’t come to the end of this journey with a burning desire to start my mornings with the Bible and in prayer, I have learned the following.

  1. I don’t need to prove my faith to anyone. God is my judge, and for that I will answer to God when it is my day.
  2. Writing different devotionals on the same verses showed me the power of God to speak beyond words. The Word evolves to translate God’s intimacy and nearness. That is usually what I need to grow and to take action.
  3. God’s Word is active as in it must lead to self-reflection and action, and more often than not, change. This is spiritual conviction — a self-growth rooted in being loved and is demonstrated as outward action for others.

Thoughts as I take the next however long to process:

  • Who have we allowed and not allowed to interpret and teach the Word, and how does this play into greater separation from God?
  • Why do certain populations (which ones) shy away from the Word in times of suffering and pain? How is this related to our current gatekeepers for preaching and teaching?
  • How does our onset insistence on right theology actually prevent the curiosity and safety to get to that same theology?

Because of God, even when I feel alone, I have faith that it might be different in the next minute. Because of God, I have dreams to make this world better. Because of God, I have been freed from generational prisons. Because of God, I know a love that keeps me going when the world falls apart. This is the God I love and I want others to experience. This is my purpose.

CBG: Peace

June 29, 2020 — Leave a comment

And [Jesus] opened his mouth and taught them, saying:
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

Matthew: 5-2-9

A peacemaker is one who makes peace. A peacemaker creates a place of undisturbed freedom and brings an end to war because peace is not yet the reality. Therefore, the journey of a peacemaker is in battlefields and tension-filled spaces. They exist in places of conflict digging tunnels towards peace. They recognize and call out the lines of division so that we can move towards a place of co-existence.

The job of a peacemaker is difficult and dangerous. It requires dropping yourself into the pits of despair and divide. It requires trust and faith. Imagine a hostage negotiator. Imagine a divorce lawyer. Imagine a baby boy dropped into an earth destined to hate him. But if you do this work of bridging those seemingly on opposite ends, you will experience most fully the freedom that follows conflict resolution. The relief. The release. The joy.

Prayer: God equip me to be a peacemaker in places of division and conflict.

Where have you conflated being peaceful with being a peacemaker?

CBG: Mercy

June 27, 2020 — Leave a comment

And [Jesus] opened his mouth and taught them, saying:
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.

Matthew 5:2-7

What is required in mercy?
A choice.
A sacrifice.
A forgiveness
An opportunity for reconciliation.
Mercy is the journey of being wronged, recognizing the wrong and not asking the person who committed the wrong to compensate for the pain and loss.
Mercy is the faith of taking a temporary self loss for the sake of relational hope.
Mercy is the belief that healing and justice spring from sacrifice and forgiveness.
Mercy is an ownership of one’s own change and growth over enforcing change on another.
Mercy is self-responsibility for making things better regardless if others will do the same.
Being merciful grows one’s capacity for love and forgiveness. Being merciful is radical and does not add up in human mathematics. Being merciful is seeing a greater battle beyond flesh and bones and defeating the evil spirits that seek to divide humanity. In being merciful for others, I see mercy is possible on earth and that will open me to receiving mercy myself. Being merciful helps me to see that I, too, am worthy and capable of the mercy of God. There is nothing so unforgivable that God’s mercy does not cover.

Prayer: God I pray to keep my eyes on the battle against evils. God eradicate any tit for tat sentiments in me. God help me seek justice through mercy.

How has the feeling of “being owed” affected my relationships and how I view my place in the betterment of this world?

If you haven’t read Bryan Stevenson’s memoir Just Mercy, I encourage you to do it now.

CBG: Hunger & Thirst

June 25, 2020 — Leave a comment

And [Jesus] opened his mouth and taught them, saying:
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

Matthew 5:2-6

Sometimes, alright if we’re being honest, often, when I’m hungry, I want a delicious vanilla ice cream cone with rainbow sprinkles. When I’m thirsty, I dream of a whiskey cocktail, ideally a Manhattan or a Sazarec. What would be most ideal is an ice cream & whiskey combo meal. And even those things are beautiful creations, I’m left desiring something else to eat or drink very soon after, or I feel sick and sit in regret. Even though it can feel farfetched, there is a way to train my body to desire vegetables and water. There is a way to train my body to long and love vegetables. When my body is in the practice of wanting vegetables, when I receive them, I’m excited. I’m not simply reluctantly eating a plant-based diet because “it’s good for me.” I want it. I see the variety and the possibility in vegetables. I feel physically good. I can be full and not harbor secret desires for cupcakes. It doesn’t mean that I won’t ever eat a cookie. I can still indulge in chips & cookies, but those are no longer the things I run after for satisfaction; they are things I get to have because I am already satisfied. This is hard. I naturally, or have been brought up, to love junk food and carbs. Broccoli currently doesn’t make me skip in joy. It takes discipline, practice and community to retrain the body and mind to center vegetables and see that they, too, can be colorful.

Thus is righteousness. To long, to love, to desire, to know the depths of good for you and others of, righteousness. To see righteousness as worthy to be sought after. To see righteousness as fun as all the other vices. Because righteousness feels close to how we were created to exist; an alignment with the goodness of God. If we can hunger and thirst for righteousness, we can experience an integrity that leads to well-deserved rest.

Prayer: God may I seek what actually satisfies and leads to rest.

What feels unsatisfied and lacking right now?

CBG: Meek

June 24, 2020 — Leave a comment

And [Jesus] opened his mouth and taught them, saying:
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Matthew 5:2-5

Meek. Who do you see when you envision someone who is meek?

In a capitalistic, patriarchal, white supremacist world, meek isn’t the quality taught to those who want to succeed. Meek gets overpowered. Meek falls to the background. Meek isn’t heard or seen. Meek doesn’t interject. Meek doesn’t shout. Meek isn’t recognized on social media or seeks to go viral. Meek doesn’t vie with its competitors.

Because meek isn’t in competition to be more seen or to get head. Meek roots in worth and visibility. Meek works from the inside. Meek speaks when needed and that clear, wise softness cuts through the jargon and noise. Meek doesn’t need to prove their worth in crowds doing that because the crowd wouldn’t even understand. Meek is on its own race, center and purpose. Meek sees the results and product oriented attitude in capitalism as trivial and creates instead things that feed the soul. Meek sees the fear and ego built into patriarchy and feeds itself love and faith instead. Meek calls out the self-hatred and false set of rules in white supremacy, so lives life from possibility and presence. THIS is the earth they get to live in, and those who know, know.

Prayer: God help me to be fully present to all beings and to see their infinite possibility. Help me to create to expand and to give, and not to horde or lord over others. Help me to love and take risks rather than self-protect.

Where in your life would it be radical to be meek?