hope

The Balance tips towards the Inevitable

January 27, 2021 — Leave a comment

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Therefore, remember that formerly you who are Gentiles by birth and called ‘uncircumcised’ by those who call themselves ‘the circumcision’ (which is done in the body by human hands) — remember that at that time you were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far way have been brought near by the blood of Christ

Ephesians 2:10-13

Living by faith and living in God is living in the gap of remembering where we come from and believing where we are going. Each side balances the journey so we don’t fall too deep into despair or get sucked into naive hope. Our hope and our impact in this world are destined. They are inevitable. We were created to make impact, to demonstrate beauty, to be the light in this world. The past and the realness of disconnection and separation that we have experienced, even currently experiencing, keep us grounded and keep us rooted in the why that is bigger than our individual self. This why is rooted in our ancestry, our upbringing, our experiences, our pains and heartaches and gives each of us a specific calling and community. We are drawn to different causes, to reconcile certain relationships, to bring healing to specific aspects of society.

But if we don’t also hold onto the inevitability of our good words and of our beautiful inherent nature — God’s handiwork — we might cave into despair when we are discouraged, sink into self-hatred when we are rejected or give up when we are momentarily disappointed. If today, right now, this moment, you know without a doubt your calling has been prepared, and it is beautiful, unshakeable and about to explode out for all to be affected, what would you do differently? How would you speak to yourself differently? How would you see the successes around you differently? How would you engage with others? How can you ease your mind, soul, heart and body and keep on your path, one step and one breath at a time?

The choice within

January 20, 2021 — 1 Comment

In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.

Ephesians 1:11-12

We have been predestined to demonstrate God’s glory. Whether I live by faith or live in fear, I display God’s glory. Which is more fun? Whether I live generously or live stingy, I display God’s glory. Which makes life more delicious? Whether I live knowing my worth or live in constant self-doubt, I display God’s glory. Which inspires others? Whether I believing in God or live skeptical of anything outside of me, I display God’s glory. Which makes the next day more appealing? We are predestined to display God’s glory but you have the choice to decide how to carry that out. The outcome is the same: unity of heaven & earth, and hope triumphs over evil.

Remember that Pivotal Moment

January 11, 2021 — Leave a comment

Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you endured in a great conflict full of suffering. Sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution; at other times you stood side by side with those who were so treated. You suffered along with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions. So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For, ‘In just a little while, he who is coming will come and will not delay.’ And, ‘But my righteous one will live by faith. And I take no pleasure in the one who shrinks back.’ But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.

Hebrews 10:32-39

Remember when you were a kid and jumped four monkey bars because you had to and because you really believed you could make it? Remember when you were a kid and skateboarded and scraped your knees real bad, yet got back up and dared to get back on it? Remember when you first came to know God’s love? Where you were? Who you were with? What God said exactly to your aching, desperate heart? Remember how nothing of this world could pop that hope and joy of feeling so loved, seen and on mission? God had you. God saw you. God was pushing you onto a path that required insane faith and courage.

Remember those moments during the pandemic when you were so grateful you could connect with a friend, even though it was on shitty wifi over Zoom? Remember that first hug after months of not having hugged anyone? Remember that moment when you thought, oh even through this I can come out better and God is with me? Remember when you got so angry over the racism and killings? Remember when you vowed to give your life to a cause greater than yourself? Remember when you were on fire to protest even if it meant you might be called out for not knowing enough or not having done enough up till now? Remember when despite that fear, you went anyway because you trusted that these incremental steps of change were the most important? Remember when you pulled all those resources to make a difference for the elections? Remember when you felt that all this current pain is worth it?

As each day passes and explosive events evolve into daily occurrences that we are desensitized to, and our first impression fervor fades into acceptance or perhaps apathy, I pray we come back to that initial faith and fervor. I pray that we go back to that moment when God called you, God saw you and demanded that you know with all your being that you are called for something huge. I pray that we go back to that moment when we really believe that our actions and our words really matter and can impact in huge ways. I pray that acceptance of evil in the world and apathy in our hearts never have time to settle. I pray that we do the small incremental acts that change the community around us, and mostly change the heart within us. Let us remember who we have been called to be and persevere till we receive the prizes full.

Be a Witness of Hope

January 7, 2021 — Leave a comment

Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, ‘Sit here while I go over there and pray.’ He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.’ Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.’ Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. ‘Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?’ he asked Peter. ‘Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.’ He went away a second time and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.’ When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing. Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, ‘Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!’

Matthew 26:36-46

The truth is always something that is told, not something that is known. If there were no speaking or writing, there would be no truth about anything. There would only be what is.

Susan Sontag

Jesus’ time at Gethsemane might be ‘the calm before the storm,’ the ‘storm’ being his torture & execution. While I think what is to come is horrible, this moment before is equally scary, maybe even more devastating. In this moment, Jesus is at the edge of a cliff, knowing he needs to jump but cannot even see the bottom. Jesus feels the depth of sorrow. Jesus feels the loneliness with his friends asleep. This task is for uniquely for him, and only he can fulfill it.

The gap between knowing what needs to be done and doing the thing reveals our fears and our faith. How do we get from our ego to a kind of living that thinks beyond ourselves which incorporates God’s will? How do we arrive at a place where our will aligns with God’s will, not out of obligation, but out of love and purpose? How can we act from a place of surrender & sorrow? How can we act from a place of service when what we witness breaks our hearts? How can we become witnesses of surrender & a will greater than ourselves?

Bring your defeats, your doubts and fears to God. Be radically honest. I pray God honors your honesty with radical trust. Live out of that radical trust that you have a great purpose. When you can sense and see the sorrow of this world, yet choose to go on, you are a witness of hope.

Hope is a Habit

January 6, 2021 — Leave a comment

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Romans 5:1-5

First forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you whether you’re inspired or not. Habit will help you finish and polish your stories. Inspiration won’t. Habit is persistence in practice.

Octavia Butler

Before ALL else, we have to come back to our justification in Christ — that through the death and life of Jesus, we all have access to God. There is nothing we need to do besides believing that there is a God that loves us beyond our minds can comprehend. God loves us so much that he displayed a tangible example for our humans minds to comprehend. Because we are justified, we have faith and we have grace. Because we are justified, we have hope and we are marked by the last word of God, which is that good triumphs evil and love triumphs all. Out of this wholeness and faith, THEN, can we also boast in our suffering because we know in this context suffering builds us up. Suffering gives us habits and structures to get through every-changing circumstances with integrity and character. Suffering creates a moral road map for our ever straying hearts. When we endure and come back to the glory and justification of God in the midst of suffering, we are building incremental changes in ourselves that make hope more visible in this world. We do not suffer or persevere for its own sake; we do it all in and for hope. There will be moments when you don’t feel like going on. There will be times when you don’t feel led to persevere. Come back to the promises and days when you felt wrapped up in God’s hope and glory. Can you remember how you felt in those moments? Can you see how where you are not is so different than where you used to be? Can you see that even when you don’t feel it, God is at work? If in the valley, we can come back to our first truth of justification and find seeds of past & future promises, hope will eventually break through! Just look at Georgia!

Dream Away

January 5, 2021 — Leave a comment

And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, ‘If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.’ Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from suffering. At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, ‘Who touched my clothes?’ ‘You see people crowding against you,’ his disciples answered, ‘and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?” But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. He said to her, ‘Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.’

Mark 5:25-34

Focus more on your desire than on your doubt, and the dream will take care of itself.

Mark Twain

This passage is short. It can be easy to dismiss it quickly as just another miracle of Jesus. However if we step into this woman’s life and really see the impact of her actions, we would see how this woman led her life with hope. This woman had spent over a decade in pain. She spent over a decade looking for solutions, that all failed, that made her situation worse. She spent over a decade in isolation because in Jewish culture, bleeding woman had to be separated because they were considered dirty. She spent over a decade being identified as dirty, diseased, incurable, sick…Those are probably the kinder words used to describe her. If anyone should have given hope it should have been her. If anyone should say FUCK YOU WORLD, it should have been her. Yet her desire to be healed, her dream of being healed stayed in her all these years and she continued to follow that impulse. Some days maybe it was a flicker. Some days maybe it was a beaming light. Some days maybe the hope seemed to disappear. Yet when Jesus, potentially another ‘faith healer’, another dude who said, ‘I’m different, trust me, I can make your life different’, came to town, she went. She leapt and lead with her hope. It wasn’t even in spite of doubt. It was in spite of years of tangible proof of failure and zero results. But still she chose her dream over her doubt. She chose to believe in hope.

Someone who has been through the trenches and still leads in hope is outrageous to the world. This woman was outrageous in her dreams. She didn’t give a F about how people were going to see her. She came out into public and revealed herself, broke the “traditions” of isolation. She exposed herself. She shared her pain and need before the public that probably judged her prior and still in that moment. When Jesus asked, she spilled out her truth because she could not deny that she was living in a miracle. This woman was double healed. There is the healing and a double portion when she shared it. Her healing and power, and place in history were secure when she boldly admitted to her story.

I pray that we lead with hope, even when it feels outrageous. I pray that we feed out dreams and desires, the parts of us that bring pleasure and joy. I pray that we own our stories of pain and healing. I pray that when we see the power of God, we jump at it, to grab a piece for ourselves because it will only make our stories that much more miraculous and impactful for others watching & listening.

Warriors of Hope

October 15, 2020 — Leave a comment

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Romans 5:1-5

Suffering creates perseverance. Perseverance builds character. Character leads to hope. Hope is a byproduct of work, experience, and self-understanding. Hope is the thing that comes pouring out after all the striving, pushing through, climbing up, getting free. Hope is for warriors and survivors.

So for those of you out there, that continue to hope, you are brave. For those of you out there who dare to hope, you know how risky it is to keep your heart open and expectant. For the hopeful, you are an inspiration in this world that wants us to dream small and stay in our lane.

It takes a lot of courage to have hope because it’s scary to keep your heart open still.
It takes pain to still stand in hope because disappointment might be on the other side.
It takes character to be hopeful because it means choosing faith over circumstances.

I pray that even as your shoulders hunch over and you lie fetal position in your bed, you dare to ask for hope. I pray that even when your heart is broken, you dare to hope again. I pray that even when it feels like an uphill battle, you dare to hope out of the trenches, up the mountain to see what awaits. Those that hope in this dark world are the lights we need; we need you and your hope.

Character over circumstance

October 6, 2020 — Leave a comment

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Romans 5:1-5

Circumstances and waves are forever. They will surround us. They will try to frustrate us. They will tempt us to be unkind and to act in ways that divide us rather than bring us together. Circumstances and things outside of our control are givens. They will want our attention. They will want us to give in and be anxious about the future or ashamed of our past. Circumstances and events will try to pull us away from the core that matters.

What grounds us and centers us are the things mentioned here: perseverance, character and hope. If we can filter out circumstances and unexpected waves through these pillars, we’ll realize that taking a breath before responding is always helpful. We’ll see that it’s harder to hold to hope and persevere in character, but the results lead to much better sleep. Come back to character. Come back to the love that is in our hearts that is made possible through the Holy Spirit. Come back to not having to justify yourself. Come back to immutable worth. Come back to the truth that if you can persevere through unwanted circumstances with character, your hope for the world, for others and for yourself feel way more tangible.

Dare you to Hope

October 4, 2020 — Leave a comment

Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about your clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you — you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:25-34

There is a comfort and a familiarity with worrying. There is an acceptance to stress, especially at a time like now. There might even be an expectation to think about all the what if’s and have nots because that aligns with the vibe of the world. I have experienced the guilt of enjoying a moment, of receiving a generous gift, of having a genuine beautiful explosive moment during times of collective sorrow & grief. It feels selfish. It feels inappropriate. It feels like I’m living in a bubble, under a rock and oblivious to how the world is going.

Here’s the truth: the world is hurting. The world has been hurting and the world will continue to hurt. And I pray that our heart will always align with that heartache which drives us to hope and to impact. I pray that the grief and sorrow of this world would propel us to make it better and to make ourselves better. So if this is the reality, can we allow ourselves to also find moments when we don’t have to worry and instead look up at the stars and have an explosive faith that reverberates, I will be okay. Things will be okay? Can we give ourselves permission to enjoy the lilies of the field? Can we give ourselves permission to hope SO BIG that it pushes out the anxiety and fears?

So my exhortation is beyond not worrying. I dare you to enjoy. I dare you to have faith that all things will work out for your good. I dare you to know with all your heart, you will be provided for, especially when it feels empty and lacking right now. I dare you to look at the stars and at the flowers and trust that God loves you even more than those. This is scary. This is vulnerable. To not let worry be our guide but instead to spark the faith and hope in each of us is radical and will make this hurting world a bit more joyful.

Fulfillment

October 3, 2020 — Leave a comment

And [Hannah] made a vow, saying, ‘Lord Almighty, if you will only look at your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.’

1 Samuel 1:11

Why would Hannah want something so much only to give it back to God? What’s this immense desire coupled with outrageous promise of surrender? How can one want so much and also keep that want connected to the larger picture?

There is a faith, love and trust required to hold something you love loosely. Each moment is precious. Each moment is meaningful. Because every moment might be the last moment of holding this thing so close. Hannah knew that whatever she received was from God and therefore belonged to God’s purposes. Hannah didn’t just want a son; she wanted a son who’s life was going to be magnificent. She wanted her dreams fulfilled while the world was also impacted by her blessing. She knew that her blessing was to exist to be shared.

So what if it’s not that our desires and wants are too big, but actually not big enough? What if we dream so big it is inevitable that it would require faith and love to endure? What do you want that is so big that it will not only impact you but call into power and presence the purposes of God? Can we dream so so so out of this world that it would feel like God made it happen? Can we dream so big that it would require our priorities and focus to shift towards faith?