identity

Holy Saturday: I give up and Wait

April 4, 2021 — Leave a comment

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Psalm 23

Between the giving up and the receiving, is a moment of waiting that can feel terrifying. Will the giving up be worth it for what’s to come? Will what I expect to come actually manifest? The quiet between the surrender of Good Friday and the fulfillment of Easter Sunday can feel so big. Doubt can seep in. Fear can take hold. Our identity can be questioned. What if in that quiet, I choose to simply notice without judgment?

Can I befriend that doubt and learn about what I really believe? Can I befriend fear and learn about what I have my hope in? Can I see the parts of my identity that are being shaken and see the other parts of me that will always hold true? I am loved. I am a child of God. I am not alone, never alone.

Please Welcome…

February 1, 2021 — Leave a comment

For this reason I, Paul, the prisoner of Christ Jesus for the sake of your Gentiles —

Ephesians 3:1

And next we have joining us from [origin place], a [identity] who has [what obstacles they’ve overcome], [things they’ve accomplished] and [the rest of the reasons why this person is special.] Please welcome to the stage…

Ephesians 1 and 2 were Paul’s introduction.

How do people intro you? How do you intro yourself? In this world, we list off our credentials, our achievements, our education background and our LinkedIn network. The introduction gives people all the evidence that we are worth being heard and we are worth your time. The introduction gets people amped on how we can potentially change their lives with this encounter with us. The introduction is key to making the person introduced extraordinary and separate, while the rest of us lay folks hold onto that glimmer of hope that we, too, can traverse into that next tier of space.

There are other areas in the Bible were Paul does do exactly these things. He lists off how he’s extraordinary, smart, admired, qualified, and so forth. He takes a different approach here. Instead he uses Ephesians 1 and 2 to talk about us and share all the ways that he and we are really the same, and that this next part is only going to make sense and work if we believe in that unity and community. Ephesians 1 and 2 were treasure troves full of our past, our future, our identity and our relationship to self, each other and God.

How can we take this and revamp how we enter new spaces and new relationships? Instead of looking for all the proof that we deserve to be in this new space and new relationship, simply take that as reality. You deserve to be there. You deserve to be here. Instead can we look for evidence of how we, the people right in front of us and this space we are currently occupying, share the same heartbeat, heartache and hope. How can this relationship, this space and this time teach you more about our shared humanity — needs & desires? We are not so different; we just have different times to speak.

CBG: Scarlet Letter

June 12, 2020 — Leave a comment

So [Jesus] came to a town of Samaria called Sychar, near the field that Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there; so Jesus, wearied as he was from his journey, was sitting beside the well. It was about the sixth hour. A woman from Samaria came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.” (For his disciples had gone away into the city to buy food.) The Samaritan woman said to him, ‘How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria?” (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.) Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.’ The woman said to him, ‘Sir, you have nothing to draw water with, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob? He gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did his sons and his livestock.’ Jesus said to her, ‘Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water I give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.’ The woman said to him, ‘Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water.’ Jesus said to her, ‘Go, call your husband, and come here.’ The woman answered him, ‘I have no husband.’ Jesus said to her, ‘You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one who now have is not your husband. What would you have is true.

John 4:5-18

The woman comes to draw water at the well at the sixth hour, which is noon. She comes at this time because no one else comes at this time. She won’t have any awkward and uncomfortable run-in’s. She can’t talk to the Jews because she’s a Samaritan, and that’s the way of the land. She can avoid judgmental eyes and whispers she can deduce are about her. She might not want to talk to her own people because they know her past and her present. Her practice of drawing water at this hour and then her response to Jesus’ ask demonstrate a desire to hide and squelch connection.

The Samaritan woman must have felt like Hester from The Scarlet Letter. In this Jewish land where she is a Samaritan, she is a minority that well-acquainted with the racial and ethnic tensions. In this encounter with Jesus, her systems and cultures are questioned, her story and beliefs are revealed and her work of bridging communities began.

These sound bite phrases are frequently used and may lose their potency. So for today, this is the language I’ve chosen to find resonance.

  1. This Samaritan woman was given the opportunity and permission to converse about the systems she has been living in. She was invited into a conversation about attitudes and cultures that have been passed down from generations, without being shamed for having these thoughts.
  2. This woman was given space to share her story, her questions and her hopes. Even though Jesus knew all the answers, he never comes at her with an arrogance or impatience. Because part of healing one’s shame and trauma is to feel, hear and experience one’s identity in the safety of another who is gently and non-judgmentally holding it.
  3. This woman was so inspired and uplifted that she ran back to her community, forgot the task that she was doing and entered the path she was always called to. She ran back and told others and in that bridged even more relationships between Samaritans and Jews. She shared her revelation because it was a gift for all.

While the spaces and life we live may not be marked overtly by the presence of Jesus, may we enter hard conversations with this openness and honesty, even if there are high risks. May we educate ourselves on our history, our trauma, our wrongs and our hopes. May we share gifts and grace with all because grace begets grace and grace opens hearts to the love of God.

Prayer: God may every day feel like an encounter with the curious, kind and radical Jesus at the well. May that spur me onto community building words and acts.

Where do we see our desire to hide and squelch connection?

Day 49: What goes up must come down!

February 3, 2019 — Leave a comment

Numbers 28-30; Psalm 49

Man in his pomp but without understanding will perish like beasts…

How true! Pride will be the death of us all. Pride separates us from our fellow earthlings. Pride makes us think we are floating above ground. Pride acts like protection but makes us irritably defensive. Pride makes us invulnerable.

Where does pride come from? Pride in my work and my country, etc aren’t inherently bad. It’s an appreciation and a love. It’s when that love gets possessive…How does it evolve? Entitlement? Being used to good things and having a grip too tight on it? Thinking that you deserve or should have control of how everything should go? How can we prevent a love from devolving into entitlement?

We must try to love without finding your worth in the thing you love. Because when our worth is dependent on something that can change, if that thing changes, we start to freak out, grip harder and work to make sure that something remains the same. But if we can separate our worth from what we love and what we have, even if those things were to disappear, our reaction would be different. We might go to sadness, anger and grief before pride. And if you can be present with those former emotions, they can move. So yes, be proud of what you are and what you have, but hold those with understanding. Then if they go away, you also won’t go away like a beast.

The only thing we can love that will never never change is God. So that is the one thing we can find our true worth in, without it crushing us!