Jesus

Shine in Service

January 3, 2021 — Leave a comment

For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.

2 Corinthians 4:5-10

2020 was a necessary year that showed us our own darkness and our capacity for light. I carry into 2021 the bruises, the breakdowns and the blessings of this past year. The lessons of exhaustion and helplessness are in my body. The feelings and visions of rage and injustice are in my bones. The promises of hope and renewal flow in my blood. Nothing is wasted. Nothing is by accident. We may be foolish and unwise, yet in God’s grace, even those things he can turn into treasures that light the way for a better tomorrow.

My prayer for 2021 is to choose vulnerability and kindness over natural inclinations to defend and shut down. I want to harness the power that is in me, in all of us, through the power of Jesus, for the sake of others. That is the ONLY use of that power. To be a vessel of God’s power is to be a light for the world. Shine my friends. When you sense Jesus’ death in your body, and it leads you to break when you see injustice, pain and suffering in the world, let that stir you into generosity, faithful action and brave connections. When you sense Jesus’ resurrection in your body, and it leads you to see how the pieces do come together and hope does have the last word, let that stir you to share that joy and peace. May we carry the depths of heartache and heights of hope in our body, minds and souls. May we be the #church that blesses the nation, not through super spreader rule-breaking worship concerts, but by being a light in service of others.

  1. What would it look like for you to shine in service of your community?
  2. Who dims that light? You? Loved ones? What does it look like to protect yourself from their shade?
  3. If today you were to choose kindness and vulnerability over the need to right and the need to look cool, what relationships would you work on? What projects? What purpose would you go after?

Do you have a word for the year? I’d love to hear it! xx

Brokenhearted Life

October 1, 2020 — Leave a comment

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all; he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken.

Psalm 34:18-20

Who needs a break from life? Who feels boxed in? Bruised? Out of breath? Who feels like the tenderness in their heart feels too much? That you’re ready to make it hard.

It may feel broken, but aren’t you standing? Maybe actually you’re stronger than you know. You may feel crushed and tested, but didn’t you make it through yesterday? Maybe you’re actually more rooted than you believe. You may feel surrounded by troubles, but haven’t you always lived a life of troubles yet here you are. Maybe you were created to handle the storms and winds.

A brokenness feeling is equal to a closeness to God. God knows hurt and sorrow and unmet want. What do you need from this closeness of God? What do you need to be reminded of? Where do you need God to lay their hand? For a moment of slowing down, awareness and holding you up.

Be gentle with yourself. You are strong. You are alive and that is your gift to this world.

Four Best Friends

September 30, 2020 — Leave a comment

A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. They gathered in such large numbers that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. Some men came, bringing to him a paralyzed man, carried by four of them. Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus by digging through it and then lowered the mat the man was lying on. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralyzed man, ‘Son, your sins are forgiven.’

Mark 2:1-5

These four men, dug a hole on the roof, to interrupt Jesus so that their friend might be healed. Can you imagine the scene? The place is crowded, overflowing to the brim, (very not covid-19 friendly). This paralyzed dude and his friends do the most insane to drop dead center into the party. People who were waiting patiently outside might have been annoyed. People who waited for hours and did get a front row seat might think it’s unfair. Jesus saw this as faith. The man wasn’t going to wait. He saw the opportunity to be healed and be seen by God and he jumped even if it meant acting a fool or making others around him mad. People might have judged him for cutting corners but he was desperate. His life was already at such a low that what was getting a little lower. His faith — his throwing himself into the deep — gave him a new life, one that was upright and moving.

And let’s not forget the four men who did the work on behalf of their friend. One, they stuck by their paralyzed friend. Do you have people who stick by you when you think you are useless? Do you have people who stand by you even if it could ruin their reputation? Two, they did work so that their friend could get healed. Do you have people who toil with you so that you can reap the benefits? Do you have friends that care for your well-being just as much as they care for their own? Finally, they were part of this healing story. Do you have friends who are part of your healing journey? Have you invited people into your pain, your desires, your wins and your future? It doesn’t have to be a gang of people: four friends is plenty. Four friends can lift you up and lower you down gently. Four friends can hold you accountable and make sure you are not forgotten.

A surrendering Want

September 28, 2020 — Leave a comment

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, ‘Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself?’ Tell her to help me!’

‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed — or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’

Luke 10:38-42

Here I am at this passage again, which I think is the beauty of God’s living Word. Each read can be fresh or can be a continuation of a past revelation. Today I want to discuss how Mary and Martha’s desire for the Lord differ. Martha loved and cared for God and tried to do the most to manifest that inward desire. However I think her intense outward doing distracted from her heart desire. She got so wrapped up in the result of what she could do for Jesus that it sort of closed her off to how else she can exist before God.

Mary on the other way, surrendered herself at the feet of Jesus. She was obvious with where her attention was directed. She was obvious with her love and desire for nearness. She was consumed by Jesus’ presence. She showed her want with a sort of vulnerability and surrender that can feel offensive in a world that requires us to mask our wants. We can want, but we also need to be doing and proving. We can want, but you need to deserve it. Mary just went with her desire and stilled herself before what she thought fill her up the most.

Let’s have permission to be vulnerable with our desires. Let us be so vulnerable there’s a risk that people will think it’s kind of absurd. What would it take to remove a layer of armor around our heart desires?

Work to Worship

September 25, 2020 — Leave a comment

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, ‘Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself?’ Tell her to help me!’

‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed — or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’

Luke 10:38-42

Martha’s intentions are in the right place. Maybe her house was messy and she’s being a damn good host. She wanted to make her home hospitable for Jesus. Maybe she was prepping for all the other people who might come. She wanted to make sure everything was prepared so everyone felt comfortable. Someone needed to be on top of things! That someone was her! She was so focused on making the Lord and the place feel at home, she wasn’t at home herself.

What if God doesn’t need us to make him feel at home? What if he’s already at home and if we draw near, and that completes his welcome? What if he’s into the mess, and moreover, into inviting others into your mess? That’s our humanity, no? That’s what God needs from us: to show up and soak in his love when his presence is there. You will have so much more time to do things when he’s sent you out.

Don’t forget the why and who in the midst of your work. Then it becomes like work instead of worship. When you are feeling overwhelmed and anxious, how does it affect how you see other people’s anxiety or peace? Do you question why they are not equally anxious? How does another’s worship affect you? Does it make you bitter? Does it make you draw near? These are trying times and there is a lot of grief and anger in the air. There is a lot of work to be done. Let’s approach our work not from a place of anxiety but from a place of surrender. You’re enough. Your presence is enough. Feel that power and then your next steps will appear.

The Senselessness of Suffering

September 23, 2020 — Leave a comment

Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with [Jesus] to be executed. When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals – one on his right, the other on his left. Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.’ And they divided up his clothes by casting lots. The people stood watching, and the rulers even sneered at him. They said, ‘He saved others; let him save himself if he is God’s Messiah, the Chosen One.’

Luke 23:32-35

At the peak of Jesus’ exposure and humiliation, he still had compassion for his persecutors. Jesus was stripped and mocked, yet his response was care and compassion. How is this possible? How was he able to hold onto his humanity while everyone around him was trying to strip it away?

There is a strength and power that none of us will ever be able to fathom. This was God in flesh who held both vulnerability and empathy in each hand, in all situations. Jesus experienced pain after pain before he endured this finale: rejection from friends, betrayal by those closest to him, poverty, pressure, the inability to save everyone. He surrendered so fully into his purpose and love for the people, that his present pain was also wrapped into the future renewal.

How do we keep our hearts open and tender especially in the midst of suffering? How do we still pursue the goodness of others even as we are being destroyed? Your pain may not make sense; when does pain ever make sense and feel fair? If we cannot make sense of the suffering, we could instead sow compassion and forgiveness because those do make sense. Compassion helps us see the thread of brokenness in all of humanity. Forgiveness helps us to stay vulnerable and open to renewed connection. These two may not take away your suffering, but they might help you find community and love in unexpected ways.

The calm before the fill

September 16, 2020 — Leave a comment

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

Genesis 1:1-2

God resides in the emptyness and in the creation.
God is there for the formless and for what will take shape.
God is there for the empty and for the filling.

God is there when you feel like you’re in a void, when you’re at the beginning, when you’re feeling lost and spent. God hovers over his creation with purpose and creates and forms in stride. More than that, the Spirit of God is in you. So even when you feel separated and empty, the Spirit of God is stirring inside ready to create a masterpiece. Well, more than that, God has already created a masterpiece and is simply waiting for our minds to catch up to that truth.

Where in your life do you feel empty? Where are you feeling anxiety to fill what feels like a lack? Sometimes in the beginning, insecurities, fears and crushing expectations flood in to take up the space of God’s intimacy and quiet. Can the longing instead point to a truth of God — that he provides, that he is good, that he is wise in timing, that he creates for good? Can this start of something new be filled with joyful anticipation and hope instead of exhausted pre-filled disappointment? Yet how do we get from that place of lack and dark to a place of openness and faithful expectation?

By embracing and acknowledging the empty and the longing. By looking back at examples whether in the Bible or in your life when Jesus pulled through. By praying so hard that there is no time and room for fears to take hold. By filling your mind with songs of praise and worship and promise. By embracing the empty and filling it with the Spirit of God and trusting that as that filling takes place, it will manifest into a fullness you can experience on this side of heaven.

Faith led you to the Desolate

September 9, 2020 — Leave a comment

Then Jesus called his disciples to him and said, ‘I have compassion on the crowd because they have been with me now three days and have nothing to eat. And I am unwilling to send them away hungry, lest they faint on the way.’ And the disciples said to him, ‘Where are we to get enough bread in such a desolate place to feed so great a crowd?’ And Jesus said to them, ‘How many loaves do you have?’ They said, ‘Seven and a few small fish.’ And directing the crowd to sit down on the ground, he took the seven loaves and the fish, and having given thanks he broke them and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds. And they all ate and were satisfied. And they took up seven baskets full of the broken pieces left over.

Matthew 15:32-37

I find myself at this story every time I’m in a resource bind or a mindset of lack. Today I was listening to a Brene Brown podcast with Dr. Sonenshein about the concept of “stretching,” being resourceful and creative with what you already have. Stretching requires scrappiness, a clear focus on purpose/goals and a heart check on what really makes you joyful and full. Dr. Sonenshein touched on meditating on a time when you were stretchy. What were you feeling then? Who were you with? Can that power that is possible come flowing back now?

The disciples might have been too tired to think outside of the box. They might have lacked stretchy-ness because they were focused on their circumstances and their limitations. They might have been worried about Jesus’ well-being. When their guard is down and they blurt their truth, Jesus always makes room for a teaching moment. Jesus followed through with his compassion for the people. His feelings flowed into faithful action.

But what I rarely think about is the crowd. They have been with Jesus for three days. They are tired, hungry, surrounded, stranded, yet still there. They followed without knowing when their next meal would come. They were stranded in a desolate place with so many strangers. Yet here they are. They followed. They had faith. And they did get fed.

I don’t know where your plans and where life have taken you. You might feel stranded in some desolate place when you felt that you were following God, or what was the right thing to do. You’re surrounded by unfamiliar faces. Maybe worst, you feel alone, even though you seem to be surrounded by voices. God is preparing a feast for you. You are part of their miracle. You are not forgotten and your faith has indeed taken you to places no human mind could conjure up.

The Testing of Friendships

September 7, 2020 — Leave a comment

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?’ ‘Yes, Lord,’ he said, ‘you know that I love you.’ Jesus said, ‘Feed my lambs.’ Again Jesus said, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ He answered, ‘Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.’ Jesus said, ‘Take care of my sheep.’ The third time he said to him, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, ‘Do you love me?’ He said, ‘Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.’

John 21: 15-17

It doesn’t feel good either to be the recipient or the reason for a broken relationship. A bad conversation. A surprising revelation of one’s character. Two life paths diverge because of exhaustion, unresolved resentment or lack of interest. Relationships build us up and tear us down, and we want the kind that tear down our walls, not our worth.

How often are we like Jesus, the one who was rejected and abandoned, yet also the one who later seeks out reconciliation? How often are we like Peter, set on our timeline of forgiveness and reconciliation and hurt when it doesn’t go as planned?

True friendships are difficult. The ones built to last go through fires, fights and forgiveness. It requires courage and humility to be the first to approach even when you have been wronged. It requires vulnerability to outwardly ask for care and respond with care. The journey of moving through different seasons of relationships often contain hurt, pain, repetition and uncomfortable intimacy. True friendships are worth it because as messy as the relationship between Jesus and Peter is, they exist when two people with the same mission towards humanity find each other. That is rare and testing in these scenarios can only survive if the calling and purpose remain at the core.

If you didn’t hold so dearly to your pride and ego, who would you reach out to? If you didn’t worry so much about your reputation or the sunk cost of friendship building, who would you let go? If you think about your deepest purposes in life, who do you feel safe to share those deepest secrets?

Friends for Paradise

September 5, 2020 — Leave a comment

Two others, who were criminals, were led away to be put to death with [Jesus]…One of the criminals who were hanged railed at him, saying, ‘Are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us!’ But the other rebuked him saying, ‘Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? And we indeed justly, for we are receiving the due reward of our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong.’ And he said, ‘Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.’ And he said to him, ‘Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.’

Luke 23:32, 39-43

Peter had denied Jesus. Jesus’ closest friends fled. In Jesus’ last moments, he was stuck between two criminals, one who goes down in history sarcastic and pathetic and one whose faith gives him the most important friendship.

How do pain and humiliation lead you to react? Do you laugh it off, deflect and give a finger to the world? Do you own up to your current state and reach for a hope that might seem ridiculous? Do you, like Jesus, experience the pain fully while still making room for compassion? Who we are is most exposed in the limelight of humiliation and when we are recipients of punishment, whether right or not. There is no place where strength, courage and faith are either most displayed or most suppressed.

The three of them were about to die. Death was around the corner. There was no need for survival tactics. We often go around life armored up with survival tools and tactics. Which of these can you set down because you’re actually safe and which of these can you set down because it’s doing more harm than protection? How can you work towards days of more truthful exposure, even when it is scary and uncomfortable?

Instead of his closest friends by his side, Jesus endured his last moments with criminals and soldiers. Sometimes in our battles, the people by our sides might be the last people we’d want. Sometimes our most loyal friends will abandon us. Sometimes our longest friends are the ones least equip to handle us in our current season. I pray we give room to see who God has placed on our sides right now; some will suck, but some might be going into Paradise with us.