Jesus

Day 20: The discomfort of God’s judgment

January 5, 2019 — Leave a comment

Exodus 10-12; Psalm 20

I may never fully understand how God could kill all the firstborn of Egypt. How could he murder all those people, regardless of they were evil or not? How could he cause such sorrow and suffering? Is this how vindication and justice look — unfair and cruel? How do I reconcile the God I believe to hold (kind, forgiving, gracious, patient) with this God who kills children and adult? It’s a sign that calls people to repentance. Is that enough? So we sacrifice a few for the many? Was there no other option? Hm. Maybe this was the only option to free the oppressed? Revenge on the oppressors’ children? I don’t know. It’s part like this in the Bible that make my head hurt and I want to discard God’s actions. If he is good, how can this section be good as well? Someone help me understand!

Of course this all points to Jesus, God’s firstborn. He allows for him to die for the sake of us all. His sacrifice covers any judgment we might have received from God. This aspect of Jesus also seems grueling and hard for me. How can I take from this sacrificial love? Is it literal? Yea… But I think Jesus fulfills more than a blood sacrifice so God no longer condemns us to hell — it’s rather the depths and lengths that God would go to remind us of his love. Kill his son? Hold to his holiness while bridging us imperfect to him? Jesus both holy and able to be with the imperfect. May we be like that!! May whatever we touch also turn good and feel a surge of power and life!

Day 18: God hardens & softens

January 3, 2019 — Leave a comment

Exodus 4-6; Psalm 18

I’ve always found God hardening the Pharaoh’s heart harsh and unfair. Did God choose to eliminate this man to save other people? Does God already destine some people to be evil and die? Does God sacrifice the one for the many? Well, he does do that last one with Jesus. But Jesus came back to life; will the Pharaoh come back to life? Hm. Maybe. We don’t know from this passage what happens to the Pharaoh after the Israelites escape. All we know is that at this point in time, his heart was hardened.

  • Did God tell Moses this to give him a heads up and lessen the blow when the Pharaoh refuses to listen? God hardened the Pharaoh’s heart. Was this more of a premonition or a psychic reading of the future? If God is holy, good and true, what does it mean that he hardened someone’s heart? What if hardening one’s heart isn’t actually evil, but a state a heart might need to go to in order to find healing at the end? What if the hardening allows for the greatest softening later?
  • Often we approach hard scriptures in the Bible and either dismiss them or say, well God knows best. Clearly we can interpret in ways that protect where we stand. How can we see The Bible as a way to affirm God’s unfailing and relentless love, while remembering each story and statue must be placed in the context of redemption? The goal is redemption and touching Jesus to experience the wholeness we are created in.

    • Day 16: Present now and hope looking ahead

    January 1, 2019 — Leave a comment

    Genesis 48-50; Psalm 16

    Thank you God for your plans that are greater than mine. Help me to be present to today and the people around me, but help me to also see how today is a speck of your greater plan. Help me to have perspective for this new year.

    Judah eventually leads to Jesus. Who would have known? God’s plans are not rational like we like to think life is. I mean shouldn’t Joseph be the hero? He was at this time, but Jesus comes from Judah the lion.

    Help me to see that you are a refuge that will not abandon me but for me to abandon all else for. Help me to trust your inheritance of greater purpose and redemption are better than all the material wealth of this world. Help me to be like Joseph, understanding and not vindictive. Help me to lead with kindness and forgiveness in 2019. 2019 will you be a year of Defiant gospel living. Help me to hold to the goodness of God and not be swayed by the judgments of man. Ciao 2018!

    Day 14: Pointing to a way doper Joseph: J. Christ!

    December 30, 2018 — Leave a comment

    Genesis 43-45; Psalm 14

    What it must have taken for Joseph to not only forgive his brothers, but to embrace them with such compassion? He moved from mere forgiveness to generous and open grace. He no longer blamed his brothers but rather saw his situation as part of God’s plans. He was vulnerable in his weeping. He didn’t forget what happened to him; he put it in context with where he is right now.

    The brothers didn’t do anything but be honest. They received what they did not deserve. It was a situation and a gift too big they could not understand.

    I mean this is essentially the gospel. God loves us not with just enough, but overwhelms us with unimaginable love. He doesn’t hold what we used to be against us, even though he could reaccount every last detail. Instead he rejoices at where we are in the present. We do not need to do anything, but be honest and vulnerable with where we are at and accept the love. Accepting the love is accepting that God really truly loves us to the moon and back and back again, and his greatest act of that was showing us Jesus. We are human and we needed an example, a way to see that made sense to us. Well, his death and resurrection doesn’t fully make sense because it’s both so horrific and so open. But in his life, death and rebirth, can we see the depths someone would go to affirm they love us? Can we see the non-obligatory love? Can we see an utter forgiveness, acceptance, compassion and relentless hope? Yes Jesus!

    Day 7: Letting Go to receive better

    December 23, 2018 — Leave a comment

    Genesis 22-24; Psalm 7

    God “tested” Abraham to see where his true love is: is it God or is it God’s blessing? It feels incredibly cruel that God would put Abraham through the ringer like that. Where is the good in this? God isn’t testing Abraham for his own sake, right? He must be doing for Abraham’s sake, so what does Abraham gain from this? Abraham learns he is one that keeps his trust in God regardless of what God can provide. If you can sacrifice the thing you love the most for the one you trust the most, it really means you have it all. Abraham probably experientially knew God is all he needs and that nothing in this world can touch him. If he can let go and surrender fully, he can do anything. He was put through the ringer so that he would know that his life must be a life of faith. It is a life of faith. God desires us to be free from anything in this world that will hold us back from living a life that is beyond our comprehension. And often if we measure by human ways, it doesn’t make sense. I must always go back to God as a God of good and compassion.

    When God offers his son on the altar, who was testing him? He need not be tested because he was fully surrendered to his character of grace and forgiveness. Jesus like Isaac did ask once, if there was another way, but when he knew he was the only way to fully prove God’s love for us, he too surrendered. God went through the pain that Abraham didn’t have to go through. Even though he knew glory was to follow, the pain was realer than ever. Do not pass over the reality of pain and of today’s broken world, just because we know one day Revelation 21 will be true. Today we are still here.

    God help me to surrender all things that hold me back from living a life of faith — surrender my negative thoughts, my tendency to compare, my narrow expectations. Let me imagine a life of faith — doing the things that make no sense of humanity but are in a vision of kindness, redemption, humility, and compassion.

    Day 6: God lives by a different standard

    December 22, 2018 — 1 Comment

    Genesis 19-21; Psalm 6

    The men of Sodom tried to gang rape the angels. Lot offers his virgin daughters instead. Lot’s daughters rape their dad. God destroys a city. Abraham and his wife Sarah are technically siblings. Sarah tells her husband to abandon his son and servant. Abraham abandons his son.

    The Old Testament is certainly not trying to make people look good. God destroys a city? That doesn’t make him look that good either, does it? It’s hard reading the Bible. People use the Sodom story to be against homosexuality. No, God is against gangbanging and rape, not homosexuality here.

    What have I learned about God? I cannot measure his ways with my human understanding.

    What have I learned about humans? We suck often.

    What have I learned about me? I’m over this part of the story and just want to get to the good parts.

    Day 5: The Bible annoys me

    December 21, 2018 — Leave a comment

    Genesis 16-18, Psalm 5

    Can we apply Abraham’s pleading with God to spare Sodom to Jesus’ pleading with God to spare us? He is the righteous one so can that mean we are all spared from destruction?

    Reading Psalms and the constant righteous vs evil feels very us versus them. Well I guess that also assumes we are the righteous and “they” are evil. Who is the righteous? Who actually follows the law of God? What is the law of God — to love God and to love others? Who’s God?

    The more I read the Scriptures the more annoyed I am by the people God has chosen to be used, the more questions I have and the more I need to keep reminding myself God is good and we suck and yet he uses us.

    And I also see the pitfalls of reading Scripture out of context. Every passage is a bit of God’s big story of redemption and love. Every ick points to God’s big grace. If I didn’t have Jesus, which is the biggest example of God’s love, I would be longing and irritated forever.

    Day 3: The backdrop of God’s actions

    December 19, 2018 — Leave a comment

    Genesis 8-11, Psalm 3

    When God kicks us out of Eden, curses Cain, destroys the whole world except for Noah and disperses us at Babel, how do we see him? Do we see him as a nervous wreck afraid we would usurp his power? Is he a jealous man shocked his creation can get to his level? Do we see him as an angry aggressive destroyer? On the surface, yes. According to my standard of good and evil, God doesn’t seem too great– maybe even evil. Like he’s out of touch and acting out of fear.

    It’s not a simple, “tell yourself that’s not true; God’s good,” that will change my view of God. How I see God’s core character color his actions? Did he act out of fear or did he act out of love? Honestly at this point I don’t know. Unless I take into account Jesus, which is also part of this story. If I take into account Jesus, I know God is good and compassionate and unrelentless about getting us back to him. Can I trust that the God of the OT and the God of the NT are the same? If yes, how can I see all this actions from the beginning as ways of compassion, mercy, an enduring covenant love to remind us, he wants us back.

    God help me to know you act out of love and compassion even though my heart wants to blame you for all the bad in this world, and in me.