patience

The Effort of Living

February 8, 2021 — Leave a comment

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

Ephesians 4:1-3

A life worthy of God’s calling requires humility, gentleness, patience and effort to keep the unity by living though the bond of peace. This takes effort. This takes work and heavy lifting. Sometimes who you have to bear in love feels heavier than you have the strength to take on. To live a calling is to choose it in every moment, in every relationship and every circumstance. Within that choice are moments when you choose otherwise; that does not remove your blessing or calling. Each moment and choice is a reminder that there is always a way worthy of your calling, and God encourages you to step in the direction of that bigness.

A word on peace. Peace is not hushing injustice. Rather it is taking action against injustice that seeks to disturb our bond of unity and alignment with God. Peace is not passive. It is a constant recalibration to God’s heart that all of humanity is honored and have access to God. Peace is not smiles and empty sayings. Peace is not the absence of conflict; conflict is a reflection of where we need to come back into alignment with God. Peace is here and not yet. We are constantly living in that tension because this world is not always living up to the calling its been called to exist within.

I pray that we are peace creators and upholders, and when that means we need to step into areas of conflict, dissonance and disturbance, we do that with humility, gentleness and patience. Our hearts desire peace, and if we want a genuine lasting kind that permeates our space and our body, we need to address what is not right and not simply ignore and pretend everything is fine.

The Balance tips towards the Inevitable

January 27, 2021 — Leave a comment

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Therefore, remember that formerly you who are Gentiles by birth and called ‘uncircumcised’ by those who call themselves ‘the circumcision’ (which is done in the body by human hands) — remember that at that time you were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far way have been brought near by the blood of Christ

Ephesians 2:10-13

Living by faith and living in God is living in the gap of remembering where we come from and believing where we are going. Each side balances the journey so we don’t fall too deep into despair or get sucked into naive hope. Our hope and our impact in this world are destined. They are inevitable. We were created to make impact, to demonstrate beauty, to be the light in this world. The past and the realness of disconnection and separation that we have experienced, even currently experiencing, keep us grounded and keep us rooted in the why that is bigger than our individual self. This why is rooted in our ancestry, our upbringing, our experiences, our pains and heartaches and gives each of us a specific calling and community. We are drawn to different causes, to reconcile certain relationships, to bring healing to specific aspects of society.

But if we don’t also hold onto the inevitability of our good words and of our beautiful inherent nature — God’s handiwork — we might cave into despair when we are discouraged, sink into self-hatred when we are rejected or give up when we are momentarily disappointed. If today, right now, this moment, you know without a doubt your calling has been prepared, and it is beautiful, unshakeable and about to explode out for all to be affected, what would you do differently? How would you speak to yourself differently? How would you see the successes around you differently? How would you engage with others? How can you ease your mind, soul, heart and body and keep on your path, one step and one breath at a time?

Divine Embodiment

January 13, 2021 — Leave a comment

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.

Ephesians 1:3

There exists simultaneously this physical realm and the heavenly realms. Those moments when you are stunned and stopped by a beautiful sunset overlooking the seemingly unmoving waters feels like an intersection. That moment when you bump into the most unexpected person at the most ordinary of places and know deep in your heart that was meant to be: that’s a moment. That moment when a third space is created when you and another are so present it feels as if you are one is an intersection. These fully present divine moments have even happened on Zoom for me!

According to this version, in our heavenly realms, we are blessed with every spiritual blessing in Christ. We have a oneness. We have an abundance. We have all the traits listed in 1 Corinthians 13 regarding love: patience, kindness, forgiveness and all the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5: gentleness, self-control, faithfulness…and so forth. These are all ours. They are already our reality. But when our worldly/physical realm becomes the only thing occupying our mind and body, we lose access to all our spiritual blessings. We are dragged down by the circumstances of the present moment and pulled in all directions unsure of where our feet need to be rooted. The opposite can also be true. We can be so preoccupied with the heavenly realms that we lose touch with where God has placed us right now on earth. We can know these spiritual blessings yet they will have no potency in the present moment.

The task is to know both so well, to live in that intersection. How can I hold the present moment and my surroundings lightly, while allowing the peace and love that is divine and mine penetrate through me and into me? How can I be that porous with the divine world in this physical world? How can I find the divine in the profane and the physical in the sacred? Jesus was the perfect embodiment of divine humanity. How can we live that out?

CBG: Patience

May 22, 2020 — Leave a comment

The words of Nehemiah the son of Hacaliah. Now it happened in the month of Chislev, in the twentieth year, as I was in Susa the citadel, that Hanani, one of my brothers, came with certain men from Judah. And I asked them concerning the Jews who escaped, who had survived the exile, and concerning Jerusalem. And they said to me, “The remnant there in the province who had survived the exile is in great trouble and shame. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates are destroyed by fire.” As soon as I heard these words I sat down and wept and mourned for days, and I continued fasting and praying before the God of heaven…O Lord let your ear be attentive to the prayer of your servant, and to the prayer of your servants who delight to fear your name, and give success to your servant today, and grant him mercy in the sight of this man.” Now I was the cupbearer to the king. In the month of Nisan, in the twentieth year of King Artaxerxes, when was was before him, I took up the wine and gave it to the king. Now I had not been sad in his presence. And the king said to me, “Why is your face sad, seeing you are not sick?” This is nothing but sadness of the heart.” Then I was much very much afraid. I said to the king, “Let the king live forever! Why should not my face by sad when the city, the place of my fathers’ graves, lies in ruins and its gates have been destroyed by fire?” Then the king said to me, “What are you requesting?”

Nehemiah 1:1-4, 11-2:4

Between the report Nehemiah received in Chislev (November/December) and his request to the king in Nisan (March/April) is 4 months. During that waiting period, Nehemiah, wept, mourned, prayed, fasted and also attended to his duties. As soon as the King asked him what he wanted, Nehemiah laid out his plans. And the king granted him what he asked.

Patience isn’t sedentary. It’s not doing nothing in hopes that something will spring out of zero. Patience is simmering and preparing one’s heart for the right moment to take action. Patience is acting from a place of preparedness. Patience requires faith that we do not dictate diving timing, whereas we live under its reign. Patience is trusting that there is a script beyond our mini scenes and the few characters we get to interact with; that if we allow it, we will see a whole greater narrative unfold without us getting in the way of it. Patience is choosing the collective long-term good over one’s immediate comforts and desires. Patience is the inhale of a situation and an exhale of how I am feeling, before another inhale of how are they feeling and an exhale of what do we need here. Soon, the breaths will ease their way into action. Do we have the faith to make space for the breaths?

Prayer: God help me to breathe before speaking, breathe before judging, breathe before acting. God help me to trust your divine timing and help me to let go of my plans that come from fear or a need to control. God help me to honor what is currently on my plate while stilling holding close the desires of my heart.

Character: Where am I holding my breath because I want to hold control?

Grace: Where have former prayers and dreams transition into actualizations?

CBG: Pruning

April 26, 2020 — 1 Comment

I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.

John 15:1-11

When you bear fruit, you will be pruned. Abiding in God, abiding in love, abiding in a value system are not easy. Underlying this season of surrender and pause is a gardening ecosystem. Turning the soil so parts that have been hidden are in the light. Removing parasites and dead materials that harm or do not belong. Planting new seeds with anticipation of their blooming. As a non-gardener, I experience impatience in this process. Impatience and all, we are several weeks in, so there is evidence of a before and after. Go and look at your garden.

  1. What have you surrendered that you do not miss?
  2. What have you lost that remains unfilled?
  3. What aches and longings in your heart that once buried are revealed?
  4. Where do you want more patience?
  5. What new discoveries about yourself, others and God have you made whether today, this week or this season?

xx

CBG: Holy Saturday

April 11, 2020 — Leave a comment

Mary Magdalene and Mary the mother of Jesus saw where he was laid.

Mark: 15:47
I imagine the quiet gray permeating from dusk to dawn.
The numb sweeping up and down your body 
Hope marred and crushed 
You are crushed
Love dead and locked away
All you have left is a cold stone reminder of everything you lost
How did we get here?
Your fragile heart is too afraid to lift its eyes
For fear of connecting with another heartbroken soul
Who will see you in your unarmored self
All you want is to be held and comforted
But will that even be enough?
It's a nightmare
Wake up
Rewind
Reset. Please. Please. I promise--
Negotiating in the waiting
Replaying those times when it didn't feel so heavy
Trying to be anywhere but here
Anything to not feel the powerless, the helpless, the human in us
The quiet gray ambient grief that is unable to utter any words to soothe 
Words are shit
Shut up
Stop trying to make this okay
Stop moving!
You don't even have the energy to scream or release
You hold it in to hold on 
Now what
Where do we go from here
When here was where we were meant to be

Prayer: Look up.

Creative: What message does your former self need?

Brave: Look in.

Generous: Look out.

CBG COVID Challenge: #7

March 27, 2020 — Leave a comment

And the word of the Lord came to Zechariah, saying, “Thus says the Lord of hosts, Render true judgments, show kindness and mercy to one another, do not oppress the widow, the fatherless, the sojourner, or the poor, and let none of you devise evil against another in your heart.

Zechariah 7:8-10

Even if it’s permissible, is it kind?

Even if you’re hurt, can you show mercy?

Even if you’re overwhelmed, can you see another’s pain?

When you have nothing, can you show kindness and mercy to another?

Kindness is one of the most underrated traits. Yet it is the one thing that will set you apart in times of impatience, of self-preservation, of irritation, of uncertainty. It breaks though the boundaries we’ve unconsciously and consciously created for safety and survival so, we can see each other, see the deep needs to understand how to care well. And the only way to survive is to take care of one another. (Grace Lee Boggs)

Prayer: Kindness — What is in the way of this, for others and for yourself?

Creative: Sit still and daydream. And/or go watch Paddington Bear 2.

Brave: Where have you gotten a no? Revisit that ask.

Generous: Encourage someone today who you “think doesn’t need it.”

John 12: “Evangelism”

January 14, 2020 — Leave a comment

He has blinded their eyes

and hardened their heart,

lest they see with their eyes,

and understand with their heart, and turn,

and I would heal them.

There is a gentleness in God’s constant, hard pursuit of us. He doesn’t push his way in or sneak through the back. Like a shepherd who knows his sheep, he simply walks through the door. He doesn’t push his way in when we are closing ourselves. He doesn’t plead and beg for us to believe. God simply presents, and comes back and presents and waits patiently for us. Even when all the signs and words and every thing of this world points to him, he doesn’t make a glaring neon sign to draw attention. God simply is. He simply trusts. She simply waits with open arms.

Yet why is our evangelism nowadays so brutal and offensive? Why do we insist on pushing our way through closed doors, making it more about OUR WORK rather than the people we seemingly love?

Can we carry into our love and pursuit for others, gentleness, faith & patience? It is not US who can open any hearts or eyes. It is GOD. Our job is to simply draw attention, draw out curiosity and then point it all back to Jesus.