prayer

Day 23: Rules, Rules, Rules

January 8, 2019 — Leave a comment

Exodus 19-21; Psalm 23

Here comes the rules. Rules are a imperfect manifestation of wisdom and social justice and goodness. It’s a way of making sense of a less tangible sense of holiness and right way of living. It’s an asymptote to living for God. If we follow all the rules but without consent and knowing the heart behind them, it’s not love. It feels like prison and a system of trying not to cross the line. I’m not saying rules are bad. If you look at the rules and commandments and understand this helps us prioritize God before self, this helps us trust our provision, this teaches relational goodness, and you agree with the foundation of these said commandments, then you’re not following out of obligation but rather living according to a good way. So don’t fall pray to a need to follow 10 commandments and 52 other ones to be a “person of God.” What do the commandments say about God, you and people? How does each commandment help us live in just relationship with God, others and ourselves? Because when Jesus comes he revamps these rules, not by abolishing them but actually by revealing the impossible-like heart of God’s way. Do not lust? Damn that covers a lot of ground and makes us really think through our ideas of intimacy, relationship and love. Forgive fully? Damn that makes us rethink reparations, revenge, Grace, mercy and endurance. Those ideas are big and broad and require wisdom and freedom and a continual conversation with God. I can follow rules; now living a life where each moment is surrendered to God’s wisdom and freedom? That requires faith.

Day 17: Forget me not

January 2, 2019 — 1 Comment

Exodus 1-3; Psalm 17

God heard Israel’s cry for help from slavery and he remembered his covenant. I mean I don’t think God forgot; as if he had turned away, was listening to some other kind of music and Israel’s crying suddenly jolted back to his original plan. God doesn’t forget and his timing is perfect. So in light of his unchanging qualities, how can we see this? This was the ripe time to take his next action. The people were so aware of their oppressed reality. It’s hard to get people to change when they don’t know they need the change. You can’t pull people out when they don’t realize they’re stuck in a bad way. God remembered. He didn’t forget. He simply brought it back to the forefront so that he could share exactly what Moses needed to hear. God doesn’t forget. He always has the best plan, the original plan at hand. It’s that he knows the best time to strike. He did here with the right person: someone who had a blemished past, who needed refuge, who straddles two cultures, not really belonging in either fully. He was the unexpected bridge who could be an instrument because clearly the good and miracles out of him were not from him. They are from above. How can I get to a state of humble desperation? What unexpected circles have I had access to and can now have positive influence?

A little bit of the Psalm. I love the last bit about how David will behold God and in return he will be excited about his likeness. You know how couples or owners and dogs end up looking alike? The thing we hold, admire, keep close the most is the thing we become and when we look in the mirror hopefully we’re excited. When you behold a kind, compassionate, powerful God, hopefully you become more like that. God may I behold you and be more and more excited by the person I see in the mirror.

Day 13: Let go & hold on

December 29, 2018 — Leave a comment

Genesis 41-42; Psalm 13

Surrender the timing. Surrender the narrow ideas of how things must pan out. Surrender a need to know exactly why you are where you are. Surrender a complete knowing. Surrender the things that are out of your control. Surrender your idea of what being enough looks like.

Own your gifts and talents. Learn from your shortcomings. Be quick to apologize and be quick to acknowledge you can do better. Be eager to help others regardless of who they are. Ask for clarity and ask for signs. Cry out when you hurt. Cry out in vulnerability. Be honest about your longings but don’t grow bitter when the longing doesn’t manifest. Maybe it’s not yet. If it’s a good desire, it’s certainly a not yet.

God uses each of us specifically. Take an inventory of who you’re surrounded by, what gifts you have, where you’re rooted, what you’re passionate about and how you hold onto hope right now. God uses the open and available.

Day 12: Success despite circumstances

December 28, 2018 — Leave a comment

Genesis 38-40; Psalm 12

The Lord is with Joseph so he was successful. The Spirit is with me so I will find favor and be successful. How do I define success? How do I define find favor? In Joseph’s case, he was still in bondage, tempted daily, at the mercy of his circumstances and helped those around him be successful. But in all circumstances, he walked with integrity and walked in his giftings. Is being successful, essentially having the freedom to act in spite of circumstances? Is success a grounded rooted patience? We are obsessed with success, but what’s the kind of success we should strive for that helps us stay with integrity and faith? What kind of success attracts our enemies? What kind of character grounds that success? I want to be this kind of success.

God guard my tongue and my words. Words can build up or words can tear down and help me to do more the former and ask for forgiveness whenever I do the latter. Help me to take a breath before I want to jump into negative or hurtful talk, because out of my heart the mouth speaks, and I want to be aware and have control when my heart is deviating and acting UP.

Day 9: Striving for Worthiness

December 25, 2018 — Leave a comment

Genesis 29-31; Psalm 9

Leah kept conceiving in hopes that she would finally be enough for her husband. She kept giving of herself to get the love and worth that would get her to stop trying for the love and worth. Isn’t that us? Isn’t that our lot in this life, to keep trying until we feel we are enough? When will we feel the worthiness that we are innately so that we can stop trying to gain, but live a life simply as a way of praising God? How can I live my life, each moment as an opportunity to acknowledge I am already worthy? God help me to stop striving for my worth because the people around me make me feel not enough, because I fall into the trap of comparison, because I don’t always feel beautiful.

Your Word says you are here for the oppressed and those who are in affliction. Let me trust that about you. Let me be an instrument to show that you are a God who cares for the least of us.

Day 8: An ugly past

December 24, 2018 — Leave a comment

Genesis 25-28, Psalm 8

Jesus, help to understand your Word in light of your ultimate showcase of love and hope. Jesus help me to see your integrity and commitment to women in the midst of stories about Abraham calling wives concubines and men taking wives like they are property in the Bible. Jesus help me to see that the table is big enough for all of us despite Jacob stealing Esau’s birthright and blessing. Jesus help me to see that your ways of truth and compassion are better than Jacob and Rebekah’s shady ways. Jesus help me to see your true equality in spite of the blatant sexist patriarchy in the Bible. I’m beginning to really not like the Word. Our history is pretty messed up and ugly. Help me to not be defined by that ugly past not only from the Bible or in my own life, but by the renewal you have given me by showing me I am loved and worthy already. Jesus help me to see that you are mindful of all of us, created each of us specifically so you can care for each of us personally.