purpose

Fall into a new season

September 8, 2020 — Leave a comment

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-11

Normally after Labor Day, there is a mental shift to fall. Schools are starting. Denim jackets are coming out. White clothes are put away. But this year, schools have started and closed again. There is sweltering heat in California. Sweats are the only things people are wearing year round. But it can be helpful to transition into a new season, even if it’s telling yourself you’re doing it in the midst of circumstances seemingly the same.

It gives you a chance to reflect on what has happened thus far. How are you different now than when summer first started, when lock downs were first implemented, when you rung in the new year? How have you grown? What have you learned? What have you lost? Who have you lost? What are you not bringing into the next season?

It gives you a chance to imagine and bless this next chunk of time. What do you hope for? Where do you want to be more settled? What changes can take place right now?

Transitioning into a new season also gives you grace for the all the ways you fell short in the last season. It gives you a sense of newness that you actually do have permission to bring into every morning. You are allowed to again be hopeful for things that did not pan out. How can each day feel like a new beginning and a new ending? We are met with new mercies every morning and we have a sanctuary to let things go every night. May we gently use the time in between, trusting that all things will pan out in due time. It’s a level of trust rooted in purpose and in a good God.

The Lonely Garden

September 2, 2020 — Leave a comment

And they went to a place called Gethsemane. And he said to his disciples, ‘Sit here while I pray.’ And he took with him Peter and James and John, and began to be greatly distressed and troubled. And he said to them, ‘My soul is very sorrowful, even to death. Remain here and watch.’ And going a little farther, he fell on the ground and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him. And he said, ‘Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.’

Mark 14:32-36

There is a sense of purpose that only comes out of deep loneliness. There is a deep loneliness that exists when walking in steps of purpose.

Jesus’ ministry was bookended by alone time. After his anointing, he was led into the garden to be tempted and right before his death, was in Gethsemane to pray. These moments are more than time alone, (which for introverts is joy and for general humans useful). These were lonely moments. These are times when he knew only he could fulfill the specific task at hand. No one else would fully understand. He was the sole person who had this particular calling. No one else had this path. While he may have community by his side, it was he who would die, he who would rise, he who would change the world. It’s in this loneliness, that the existence and promise of the Father and the Holy Spirit are life lines.

I have dreaded loneliness by whole life, and still do, especially in these times. Even in my grandma’s crowded apartment during holiday meals, I felt alone. Even in the most intimate and fun hangs with best friends, this fog of loneliness eventually finds me. And if we are honest, it finds each of us if we dare pause long enough to not find a quick cover or distraction. In loneliness, I feel like I’m the only one seeing the world the way I’m seeing it right now. It feels like I’m a character misplaced in a world not my own. I am hit by the wave of the world’s ache and my feet are stuck in the ground so I cannot run, cannot hide. These are not pleasant, but they are expansive revelations that each of our lives has a calling and path no one on earth can fully comprehend. They may enter in and collaborate with you. There might even be moments of such deep alignment, you know those moments when you meet someone and think OH YOU GET IT, that you feel so connect. And hopefully on this track of life, there are other runners by your side and fans cheering you on. However, your purpose is yours and yours alone. As each of us fulfills our own purpose, together we’d change the world.

So in your loneliness, in your alone time, I hope along with the ache you feel the immense truth that you matter, and only you can do what is set out for you. God is with you. The Holy Spirit lead you. Jesus went before you.

CBG: Remind

April 24, 2020 — Leave a comment

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor, he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of prison to those who are bound, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion — to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified. They shall build up the ancient ruins; they shall raise up the former devastation; they shall repair the ruined cities, the devastations of many generations.

Isaiah 61:1-4

We do not need to strive and work on perspective. We need to be reminded of our purpose, our power and our priesthood. We do not dismiss our feelings and our exhaustion. In the midst of all that, we remember our calling. It is through your feelings and your exhaustion, that the power of your calling lifts your head slightly and helps you take another courageous step. We do not need to put things in perspective nor think of the “bigger picture” or “how things will work out…eventually.” That type of pulling ourselves up and reworking our minds by our own strength can feel disingenuous, forced and lead to guilt if we “fail” What we need is a reminder that we have already been anointed and NO ONE, NOTHING can take that stamp of worth away. You, are not made for small things. You, are not created for the trite and trivial. You, were created for transformation and restoration. You, right where you are now, have all the power and strength, to be the reflection of God. Now this reminder is scary. This kind of reminder can shed the unnecessary and set our hearts straight.

Prayer: God remind me of who you are and who I am. Help my heartbreak point in the direction of transformative justice. Help my sadness point to communal comfort. Help my fears point to your former and forever abundances and provision.

Creative: Read these verses over yourself. Feel it. Embrace it. Where does it refresh your body? Your heart? Your mind.

Brave: What part of this scripture scares you? Can you step in?

Generous: What part of this scripture excites you? Can you live in?

CBG: #25

April 14, 2020 — Leave a comment

Then he said to me, “Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. Behold, they say, ‘Our bones are dried up, and our hope is lost; we are indeed cut off.’ Therefore, prophesy, and say to them, Thus says the Lord God: Behold, “I will open your graves and raise you from your graves, O my people. And I will put my Spirit within you, and you shall live, and I will place you in your own land. Then you shall know that I am the Lord; I have spoken, and I will do it, declares the Lord.

Ezekiel 37:11-14

What do we need of God’s promises? Renewal and restoration? To come up for breath from the exhaustion and the uncertainty. To feel the lightness of new mercies and bright morning hope. To see that rainbow over New York City and declare, that is for me as well. Intimacy? To release the heaviness of loneliness and a need for survival. To not fall prey to the lies that I can only do what I do with my gift of singleness so I guess I should be content…To still believe that being seen, understood and held are good, good desires. Belonging and purpose? To quiet the restlessness and stand confidently exactly where you are. To not feel like a waste of space because we are wrapped up in the world’s measurements. To know that what you do for the least of these, you do for God.

What part of your soul do you need God to prophesy over? What promises and reminders do your part of the world need? God has really promised. He proved it. He will not walk back on his words.

Prayer: God you have new mercies for me every minute. Help that truth to shape the way I am brave and generous to those around me. Help me to see your work all around me. Help me to extend new mercies to things and to people around me.

Creative: Write a bunch of lies and heavy things on paper and rip it up.

Brave: Live in your power.

Generous: Live out your abundance.

CBG: #11

March 31, 2020 — Leave a comment

Give me an eagerness for your laws rather than a love for money! Turn my eyes from worthless things, and give me life through your word. Reassure me of your promise, made to those who fear you. Help me abandon my shameful ways; for your regulations are good. I long to obey your commandments! Renew my life with your goodness.

Psalm 119: 36-40

Prayer: God give me an eagerness for you even when so many things are trying to pull my focus away. Make you feel relevant because sometimes you don’t seem too close. Help me to trust that the silence and alone-ness still holds your presence. You are very near. You are close, even when I don’t feel it and even when quieting scares me. Turn my eyes from the worthless things of fear and scarcity. Turn my eyes from the worthless things of building security in this world in things that will wash away again. Remove the need to be okay. Reassure me of your promises that you complete your work. Restore the joy of having a purpose beyond the circumstances of today.

Where are your thoughts? Where is your focus? Where are we sheltering in for comfort and security, and do you feel safe and hopeful there? Are you outward focused on others and their actions that impact you? Are you looking in at your hurt, scared, cradled heart? Are you too tired or reluctant to turn to God?

When was the last time God beckoned you back? What was whispered into your soul? What was felt in your body? What did you recall?

What were you once so sure about because you had God, and now feels unsteady or blurred? What drew you in at the beginning? What would you need for that first attraction to come full bloom right now?

Creative: Share your heart.

Brave: Come back to your body. Enjoy your body.

Generous: What non-profit needs a sprinkle of your heart?

John 17: Get that Glory

January 21, 2020 — Leave a comment

And now, Father, glorify me in your own presence with the glory that I had with you before the world existed.

If we hear someone say, I should be glorified! I want glory! we might think this person is arrogant, entitled, selfish, self-involved…all the words in this category. Yet Jesus asks of it! He asks to be glorified! He wants the glory.

What makes his desire not only okay but good and worthy to be followed?

His glory WILL POINT BACK TO THE FATHER. If you get glory, who gets the recognition?

His glory IS ROOTED FROM THE BEGINNING of a good and good creation. Where does your desire for glory stem from?

His glory is a CONTINUATION OF PAST GLORY. Where in your past have you received recognition and deserves to be developed?

His glory stems from DOING THE WORK, LIVING OUT HIS CALLING AND PURPOSES! Are you doing the work? Are you tapped into your purpose? Are you felling a story beyond yourself?

We need to first answer these questions. And once we’re tapped in, demand that GLORY. Because it’s not a sudden change; it’s simply a recognition that you’re already in the GLORY.