reflection

CBG: Love

May 19, 2020 — Leave a comment

For this is the message that we have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another. We should not be like Cain, who was of the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own deeds were evil and his brother’s righteous. Do not be surprised, brothers, that the world hates you. We know that we have passed out of death into life because we love the brothers. Whoever does not love abides in death. Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him. By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

1 John 3:11-18

What is love? Baby don’t hurt me…We all know the concept of love. It’s in songs and in cards. We tack it on to our goodbye’s. Even those who have never read the Bible can recite the first bits of 1 Corinthians 13, love is patient, love is kind…

Love is so simple, yet impossible to fully define in a succinct tagline. We can describe its traits — patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast — yet like God, is too big for us to grasp. That’s the beauty of it; it envelopes us and not the other way around.

With Cain and Abel, we see what love is not. Cain killed his brother because he was too self-involved with his own deeds and could not bear to share the spotlight with his brother. He wanted to be congratulated. He was entitled. He felt threatened when his brother got the attention he thought only he deserved. This state of being — entitled self-involvement that makes one feel protective and who’s self-worth is contingent on others — is death. This attitude acts from a place of lack and a need for approval.

It can be trite to say love is simply the opposite. These fruits of the Spirit, the first listed being love, are beyond binary thinking. They are the opposite, and some. So what is love: it takes into account others. It comes from a place of security. It is not threatened by the success of others. It is not contingent on a response. It is not protective. It does not have an end like death. Love is a whole-hearted honoring and empowering of another fueled by the faith that another’s good is your own good. Loving your brother is trusting that their well-being is vital to your own well-being. Love yourself is trusting that your own well-being is vital to the well-being of all. Love begets love. It draws humanity closer while expanding our view of who & what is of humanity.

By the power of Christ’s utter display of sacrificial love, we, too, can love in this radical open give-it-all way. It’s not that Christ neglected his own well-being; he simply focused solely, on ours instead. That takes tremendous faith and power.

Prayer: God I pray that you would break my need to be protective. God I pray that you would keep growing and building my sense of worth and out of that, I can love others without need. God I pray for the power and faith to shift my focus onto others when I’m feeling entitled, too self-involved and needy.

Character: Who is hard to love? Where is it hard to love? When is it hard to love?

Grace: When have I felt love that made me let go more?

CBG: Rest

May 17, 2020 — Leave a comment

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30

I come to the end of this week weary and tired. People talk of a second wind when you run long distances, when you suddenly get a spurt of energy that helps you finish the second half. I feel like this has been the opposite. A second wall, like we’re starting at scratch again, recalibrating again what this next season will be. We made it through spring and now we need to make it through summer.

I need the promises of this verse. I need the ease and rest of this verse. Yoke is a wooden harness that usually allows two oxen to work together. I imagine it is Jesus and I clicked into this harness, the wagon unevenly set behind him. I imagine the scene of Jesus carrying his own cross and I trying to help in the back, even though the bulk of the weight is on his shoulders. Then I imagine that Jesus had already done all that physical work and all that’s left of him and I is simply to love God and others. His yoke is not oppressive or burdensome. His yoke frees us. His yoke actually gives us rest. When we do the work of God, we get rest. There is a kind of work that leaves you tired and relieved at the end of the day. Am I participating in that kind of work right now? Or am I doing unnecessarily laboring? For who?

  1. What does rest feel like?
  2. Where are you laboring in vain, or at the core, only for your own gain?
  3. Where are you doing it all, when you can ask for help?
  4. What are your hopes for summer?
  5. What’s a character trait you hope to practice and develop this week?

CBG: #16

April 5, 2020 — 1 Comment

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit. Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not lose heart. But we have renounced disgraceful, underhanded ways. We refuse to practice cunning or to tamper with God’s word, but by the open statement of truth we would commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God.

2 Corinthians 3:17 – 4:2

Our weekly rhythm of sabbath — to see all we have done and learned and to remember all we have engaged with, because who you are today is not the same as who you were last week. If we are honest, if we can be even a little bit open to the work of God, if we had ventured even a foot into vulnerability and faith, who we are today is closer to we were created to be. The process of sanctification seems unkind until you stop to see what it’s trying to teach you. You are a champ. You are a warrior. You’re in the work. Please give yourself a hug, a kiss, a tap for being brave, creative and generous.

  1. What moment(s) did you feel God’s presence, close and kind?
  2. What moment(s) did you actively push God away?
  3. What emotion has been your friend this week?
  4. Where was joy?
  5. Where was heartbreak?
  6. What is one thing you can bring to next week to step more into your power?

Love to hear your thoughts! xo

CBG: #9

March 29, 2020 — 1 Comment

Indeed, in this case, what once had glory had come to have no glory at all, because of the glory that surpasses it. For if what was being brought to an end came with glory, much more will what is permanent have glory. Since we have such a hope, we are very bold, not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face so that the Israelites might not gaze at the outcome of what was being brought to an end. But their minds were hardened. For to this day, when they read the old covenant, that same veil remains unlifted, because only through Christ is it taken away. Yes, to this day whenever Moses is read a veil lies over their hearts. But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

2 Corinthians 3:10-18

Let’s have this weekly rhythm of an unveiling, a reflection, an inventory of ourselves. In the presence of God, we can be exposed without judgment. The sin in the garden was the hiding due to shame. We do not need to hide. We can cast away shame. Doing this reflection consistently, does not only reveal how you are shifting from glory to glory, but the catapult to shifting. You are in the process of sanctification you champion! This kind of heart work is creative, brave & generous.

  1. What question(s) were you attempting to answer?
  2. What emotion(s) were most present?
  3. When did you feel the presence of God’s peace & calm? Who were you with? What were you doing?
  4. What brought you joy?
  5. What revealed your heartbreak?
  6. What is one change you can make this week to create more safety, unity and kindness for yourself and others?

Drop an answer in the comment. We are in this journey together!

George Saunders – Failures of kindness

July 28, 2019 — Leave a comment

What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness.

It’s hard to put kindness in a box, yet when you’re in the presence of it, you feel it. Some people are naturally kind — what is it? This generosity of spirit? The authenticity of presence? This lack of sauntering their own ego? Their insistence on others’ well-being? All that is part of it. It’s hard to define kindness, yet when you experience it, it transforms you. You too want to be kinder. You feel a little lighter. You feel more capable of being you, nothing more. Being open to kindness is hard because it breaks your insecurities and propensity for evil down. Being open to kindness begins a journey of our own lack towards our true worth. I want to open to kindness. I am open to kindness. It’s my first openness to it that can lead me to my own kindness to others. We love because God first loved us. I am loved. I am love. I can love. I choose to love. I am kind. I choose to be kind. Let us experience heaven here.

Ross Gay – The joining of sorrow as joy

July 27, 2019 — Leave a comment

Is sorrow the true wild? What if we joined our sorrows? What if, what if…What if that is joy?

Why do we go into the wild? Because deep down we believe that there is something in the wild that will make us more alive, help us see greatness and put us in our rightful place. In the wild you may get hurt, you may get lost, you may cry and long for home. You will doubt why you took the journey in the first place. You might not even have a destination so it’s by faith to know when the adventure stops. But each thing you encounter might be the complete reason for why you came out into the wild. Each step could be it. Each look. Each feel. Each moment could be that moment.

The wilderness of sorrow is full of thorns, of ungardened weeds that have crowded my soul. I now take my sword, my boots and my everything and go into the places that will break my heart, and lead me to the pool of wholeness I was made to swim in.

Sorrows I’m afraid to deal with: abandonment by my family, my fear of intimacy, my body conscious mind, my propensity to exchange joys for comparison

Day 48: Keep on for Jesus

February 2, 2019 — Leave a comment

Numbers 25-27; Psalm 48

How do people read the Word of God when it feels so far removed from it that it feels more a burden than a blessing? All this fighting and quarreling feels petty and stupid. All this talk about inheritance makes me eye roll — although I see The foreshadowing as well of Boaz and Ruth, the prodigal sin, and Jesus making himself our inheritance. Alright, alright. The laying of the foundation for what is to come. Because thankfully what still keeps me in the faith, however we define it in this judgmental culture, is Jesus and the gospel: good news. What keeps me reading is the showing up of Jesus who was radical AF. Who didn’t talk about wars but more told us to take care of the poor by doing it himself? He isn’t petty. He’s brutally honest and funny and compassionate. I see how people can separate the God of the OT and the God of the NT. Well God and Jesus are different, and the same. They express different sides of compassion, justice and priorities. They show the 3-dimensional look of life and emotions.

But I’m struggling to keep doing this. I’m bored. I expected this reading to open me in a way to see God differently. Well, I guess it has. He’s bigger than the Bible. He’s more than the Bible. A mirror only reflects a person, but isn’t the person. God isn’t the Bible. The Bible reflects him and right now its reflections seem like a mirror held far away. My God is still a big badass caring motherfucker and with all the damn violence in the OT, you can cuss.

Day 17: Forget me not

January 2, 2019 — 1 Comment

Exodus 1-3; Psalm 17

God heard Israel’s cry for help from slavery and he remembered his covenant. I mean I don’t think God forgot; as if he had turned away, was listening to some other kind of music and Israel’s crying suddenly jolted back to his original plan. God doesn’t forget and his timing is perfect. So in light of his unchanging qualities, how can we see this? This was the ripe time to take his next action. The people were so aware of their oppressed reality. It’s hard to get people to change when they don’t know they need the change. You can’t pull people out when they don’t realize they’re stuck in a bad way. God remembered. He didn’t forget. He simply brought it back to the forefront so that he could share exactly what Moses needed to hear. God doesn’t forget. He always has the best plan, the original plan at hand. It’s that he knows the best time to strike. He did here with the right person: someone who had a blemished past, who needed refuge, who straddles two cultures, not really belonging in either fully. He was the unexpected bridge who could be an instrument because clearly the good and miracles out of him were not from him. They are from above. How can I get to a state of humble desperation? What unexpected circles have I had access to and can now have positive influence?

A little bit of the Psalm. I love the last bit about how David will behold God and in return he will be excited about his likeness. You know how couples or owners and dogs end up looking alike? The thing we hold, admire, keep close the most is the thing we become and when we look in the mirror hopefully we’re excited. When you behold a kind, compassionate, powerful God, hopefully you become more like that. God may I behold you and be more and more excited by the person I see in the mirror.