rest

Lent Day 33: I give up Imposed Timelines

March 21, 2021 — Leave a comment

If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath and from doing as you please on my holy day, if you call the Sabbath a delight and the Lord’s holy day honorable, and if you honor it by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, then you will find your joy in the Lord, and I will cause you to ride in triumph on the heights of the land and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob. For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.

Isaiah 58:13-14

I give up the timelines I impose on myself. I give up this sense of urgency that is founded on scarcity and fear. I give up on doing so much for fear that if I stop, I’ll lose my place. I give up running at the speed of panic, living at the speed of panic. I give up your schedule for me. I give up your imposed deadlines on me. I give into timelessness. I give into the right timing. I give into trusting in God’s perfect timing. I give into the extra breath I need to take right now. I give into the rest I am called to live in.

Lent Day 30: I give up Pressure

March 18, 2021 — Leave a comment

The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

Isaiah 58:11-12

I give up pressure. I give up the heavy expectations I put on myself that make disappointment more likely than possibility. I give up the pressure to be good. I give up the pressure to do it right. I give up the pressure to please everyone and make sure everyone is okay. I give up the pressure to be always growing upwards. Maybe growing involves three steps back for every 3.1 steps forward. I give up a pressure that keeps me scared and small. I embrace breathing into how I already have everything I need and that I already am everything I need, for this moment. The next moment will have enough worries of its own.

Lent Day 11: I give up Nonstop Work

February 27, 2021 — 1 Comment

If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath and from doing as you please on my holy day, if you call the Sabbath a delight and the Lord’s holy day honorable, and if you honor it by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, then you will find your joy in the Lord, and I will cause you to ride in triumph heights of the land and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob. For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.

Isaiah 58:13-14

I give up working as if when I stop, the world stops. I give into rest when I need to rest. I give up doing more, just so I feel like I’m doing something. I give into admiring how far I’ve come. I give up the fear of stopping. I delight in the moments of joy and rest and abundance. I give up withholding my enthusiasm and my joy. The other dips and the other sorrows will have their moment, and for now, I will bravely laugh too loud and smile too big. Rejoice when you can rejoice. Mourning will come. New mornings will also come.

Rest

September 24, 2020 — Leave a comment

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.

Genesis 2:2-3

When God sensed the completion of his work, he rested. He rested from the work of creating and called that day of rest, holy. What if you don’t sense the completion? What if the work you’re doing seems unfinished? Where does rest belong in the unfinished business of earth?

Our work on earth to dismantle systems of oppression continues. Our fight to tear down fascism, racism, sexism, ageism, I feel exhausted, simply trying to name it all. In a world where evil lurks in every corner, our work to battle and reclaim seems never-ending. How can this declaration of rest (which churches love preaching) fit in to our continual unfinished work? How do we not use the idea of self-care simply as an excuse to stop doing the work we are called to do as ambassadors of light?

If I draw back on the trajectory of Genesis 1, God took things in stride and developed his creation over time. He created light on day 1 and created man on day 6. Each day in a sense had its own creative purpose and goal. After the daily accomplishment, God waited until the next day to layer on. Each “day” came to a completion, followed by a “daily” rest. That “week” came to a creation completion, followed by a “weekly” rest.

On this side of heaven, we will remain unfinished and in process/progress. However, it doesn’t mean the idea of completion doesn’t apply. Little c, completion is correlated with the every day task at hand. Give each day the small steps to live by and accomplish, and with that, give each day the appropriate rest to enjoy following through. It will take a lifetime to dismantle oppression and evils, but the daily work to grow your heart, create something good and take responsibility for what God has entrusted deserve moments of rest. In these moments of rest acknowledge that God is good and evil will not prevail.

Night Time Routine

September 13, 2020 — Leave a comment

Answer me when I call to you, my righteous God.
Give me relief from distress; have mercy on me and hear my prayer.
How long will you people turn my glory into shame?
How long will you love delusions and seek false gods?
Know that the Lord has set apart his faithful servant for himself; the Lord hears when I call to him.
Tremble and do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent.
Offer the sacrifices of the righteous and trust in the Lord.
Many, Lord, are asking, ‘Who will bring us prosperity?’ Let the light of your face shine on us.
Fill my heart with joy when their grain and new wine abound.
In peace I will die down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.

Psalm 4

Who can have a good night’s rest these days when our days are filled with so much unprocessed, unfinished and unanswered? Yet what good does bringing distress into rest do but make the next day even worst. How can we trust enough to let our bodies and minds rest for a night? How can we quiet our anxious hearts for a deep peaceful sleep?

Search your hearts.
Surrender all the feels, the worries & fears to God for safe keeping, just for the night. Don’t worry, they may very well still be there the next morning.
Breathe in the mercy of God.
Breathe out the shortcomings of the day.
Breathe in your set apart-ness, made for a purpose, nature.
Breathe out the comparisons.
Tomorrow, the light will shine upon your face.
Tomorrow will be new.
Amen.

CBG: Rest

May 17, 2020 — Leave a comment

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30

I come to the end of this week weary and tired. People talk of a second wind when you run long distances, when you suddenly get a spurt of energy that helps you finish the second half. I feel like this has been the opposite. A second wall, like we’re starting at scratch again, recalibrating again what this next season will be. We made it through spring and now we need to make it through summer.

I need the promises of this verse. I need the ease and rest of this verse. Yoke is a wooden harness that usually allows two oxen to work together. I imagine it is Jesus and I clicked into this harness, the wagon unevenly set behind him. I imagine the scene of Jesus carrying his own cross and I trying to help in the back, even though the bulk of the weight is on his shoulders. Then I imagine that Jesus had already done all that physical work and all that’s left of him and I is simply to love God and others. His yoke is not oppressive or burdensome. His yoke frees us. His yoke actually gives us rest. When we do the work of God, we get rest. There is a kind of work that leaves you tired and relieved at the end of the day. Am I participating in that kind of work right now? Or am I doing unnecessarily laboring? For who?

  1. What does rest feel like?
  2. Where are you laboring in vain, or at the core, only for your own gain?
  3. Where are you doing it all, when you can ask for help?
  4. What are your hopes for summer?
  5. What’s a character trait you hope to practice and develop this week?

Day 22: EMO Woe

January 7, 2019 — Leave a comment

Exodus 16-18; Psalm 22

There are days that you are given the double portion in order to have a day of rest. We are given abundance in order to allocate well and plan for the future. That is as much a part of the story as trusting God for daily manna. We need to both trust daily, and take just as much as one needs daily, not more and not less, while being prepared for days when we cannot work and toil. Do we toil sometimes and never enjoy the fruits of our labor on rest days? Let rest exist. Let hard work exist. Let daily trust exist. Let interdependence exist.

Psalm 22 is super emo and desperate sounding. It’s often how I feel inside but I’m afraid to be that open about it. How can one be truthful with how one feels without feeling needy? As I’m typing this I’m in an emo mood. When you’re self-conscious about coming off too desperate or needy, you second guess asking every show of emotion. Or at least I do. Then I just become a bottled up bitter mess. So how can I be present in my feelings such as being forsaken and abandoned without making others eye roll? Do I need to care? Or is it presenting where you’re at in a certain place without needing anything from a human listener? I mean the best thing anyone can do when you’re so stuck and entrenched in your feelings is just listen. Because as you listen, you help unravel the blinders around me and pull me out of my woe is me. I never want to be in my woe is me phase but sometimes I’m there and your clarifying questions and care can help pull me back to the surface.

Day 9: Striving for Worthiness

December 25, 2018 — Leave a comment

Genesis 29-31; Psalm 9

Leah kept conceiving in hopes that she would finally be enough for her husband. She kept giving of herself to get the love and worth that would get her to stop trying for the love and worth. Isn’t that us? Isn’t that our lot in this life, to keep trying until we feel we are enough? When will we feel the worthiness that we are innately so that we can stop trying to gain, but live a life simply as a way of praising God? How can I live my life, each moment as an opportunity to acknowledge I am already worthy? God help me to stop striving for my worth because the people around me make me feel not enough, because I fall into the trap of comparison, because I don’t always feel beautiful.

Your Word says you are here for the oppressed and those who are in affliction. Let me trust that about you. Let me be an instrument to show that you are a God who cares for the least of us.