timing

Advent: Day 1

November 28, 2021 — 2 Comments

Advent is anticipation, it’s waiting, it’s knowing that good is coming…and we gotta be patient.

When I’m hangry, the time before my feeding is brutal. I feel like I have lost control of my emotions. I feel like I could bite someone’s head off if they say the wrong thing. I feel pissed and then more pissed because I don’t know why I’m so pissed. When I finally realize it’s because I’m hungry, I get a spurt of light and hope. Ah, a solution!! I forgive myself for the thoughts and feelings and potentially behaviors before my need realization. Sometimes I brave the wait by trying to convince myself the hunger will pass. Actually if you press long enough, the hunger does pass. Other times I immediately go venturing for the food. Now if I’m in search for food, this time is also brutal. Because the solution is clear and feels close, yet too far away. I get focused. I get quiet. I am determined. This is also vulnerable territory because any obstacle can be a land mine. But then when I get that first bite, I am blown away, like heaven has come to meet me in my mouth. I love everyone. I love this food. I am grateful. I forget that I was once upon a time, a minute ago, about to slay and rage. I am simply overcome by this food that I knew would cure me, yet also didn’t fully know would bring me so much life.

Why this story? Because advent can feel like this slew of this and that and pissy attitude, even when you know what’s about to come. Because advent, anticipation, waiting and future promises can bring up a lot of feelings and doubts and land mines? Because you might not even know what this advent uncovers! I know the coming of hope and Justice is damn good and is about to, has come.

But the in between, the moments when your body and the world seem to take over, need to be acknowledged and embraced. It’s okay to be pissy and hungry and longing and disappointed and dissatisfied and excited and impatient and patient and … all of it. Take a breath. Allow for it.

What are you waiting for?

What do you know without a doubt, is going to happen, but just requires some trust in timing?

Can you anticipate good instead of glum? Can you anticipate all your dreams and promises coming true? Can you anticipate god’s YES for you?

CBG: #13

April 2, 2020 — Leave a comment

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die;

a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

a time to kill, and a time to heal;

a time to break down, and a time to build up;

a time to weep, and a time to laugh;

a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

a time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together;

a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

a time to seek, and a time to lose;

a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

a time to tear, and a time to sew;

a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

a time to love, and a time to hate;

a time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Everyone is in a season of “refraining from the embrace.” However outside of that, no one can tell you or judge you for the season you’re in. What season(s) are you in? Knowing what season you’re in can replace frustration and anger with patience, doubt with stillness and distrust with potential. Knowing what season you’re in realigns expectation, or even better, helps you release any expectations. When you know what season you’re in, you’ll understand why some characters are starring in your life, while others should just be an extra. It’s okay. It shifts. Tomorrow, the next hour, the next minute could be a new “episode of life.” And each minute is the same length and has equal value. Each minute can matter when your focus is on eternity.

Prayer: What time is it?

Creative: What season do you want to be in? Imagine it. Create something as if you’re in that season.

Brave: Call someone in today.

Generous: Tell a mentor or someone who’s really shaped you in a former season, how much it meant and what you learned from that season.

Day 17: Forget me not

January 2, 2019 — 1 Comment

Exodus 1-3; Psalm 17

God heard Israel’s cry for help from slavery and he remembered his covenant. I mean I don’t think God forgot; as if he had turned away, was listening to some other kind of music and Israel’s crying suddenly jolted back to his original plan. God doesn’t forget and his timing is perfect. So in light of his unchanging qualities, how can we see this? This was the ripe time to take his next action. The people were so aware of their oppressed reality. It’s hard to get people to change when they don’t know they need the change. You can’t pull people out when they don’t realize they’re stuck in a bad way. God remembered. He didn’t forget. He simply brought it back to the forefront so that he could share exactly what Moses needed to hear. God doesn’t forget. He always has the best plan, the original plan at hand. It’s that he knows the best time to strike. He did here with the right person: someone who had a blemished past, who needed refuge, who straddles two cultures, not really belonging in either fully. He was the unexpected bridge who could be an instrument because clearly the good and miracles out of him were not from him. They are from above. How can I get to a state of humble desperation? What unexpected circles have I had access to and can now have positive influence?

A little bit of the Psalm. I love the last bit about how David will behold God and in return he will be excited about his likeness. You know how couples or owners and dogs end up looking alike? The thing we hold, admire, keep close the most is the thing we become and when we look in the mirror hopefully we’re excited. When you behold a kind, compassionate, powerful God, hopefully you become more like that. God may I behold you and be more and more excited by the person I see in the mirror.

Day 13: Let go & hold on

December 29, 2018 — Leave a comment

Genesis 41-42; Psalm 13

Surrender the timing. Surrender the narrow ideas of how things must pan out. Surrender a need to know exactly why you are where you are. Surrender a complete knowing. Surrender the things that are out of your control. Surrender your idea of what being enough looks like.

Own your gifts and talents. Learn from your shortcomings. Be quick to apologize and be quick to acknowledge you can do better. Be eager to help others regardless of who they are. Ask for clarity and ask for signs. Cry out when you hurt. Cry out in vulnerability. Be honest about your longings but don’t grow bitter when the longing doesn’t manifest. Maybe it’s not yet. If it’s a good desire, it’s certainly a not yet.

God uses each of us specifically. Take an inventory of who you’re surrounded by, what gifts you have, where you’re rooted, what you’re passionate about and how you hold onto hope right now. God uses the open and available.