CBG COVID Challenge: #6

March 26, 2020 — Leave a comment

I appeal to you therefore, brothers by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Romans 12:1-2

For most of us (I’m hoping), we are staying put and doing what’s necessary to flatten the curve, not overwhelm our healthcare system and protect the most vulnerable (and ourselves) by doing less. It was an abrupt stop to the natural American rhythms of doing too much, staying busy and being everywhere at once. It was difficult. It was a sharp nose dive into a different pace and culture. We were forced into a kind of sabbath, maybe at first physically then if lucky, emotionally, mentally. Questions of life priorities, of what matters most, of what we truly need as human beings emerged. Maybe stillness popped in. Maybe a new normal or, an openness to a new way is starting to set in.

Then BAM. The challenges arrived. Post this. Inspire us! Make a video. Tag 5 friends. Post a picture. Tag 8 friends. Virtual FOMO anyone? Why didn’t I get that challenge invite? Everyone’s doing it. The need to make “quality content” seeps in. I spent 2 hours yesterday afternoon trying to tape a 1.5 minute monologue. Silly, silly, F.

The intentions of these challenges are probably well-meaning. However as more of these pop up and fill our minds and schedules, are they sneaky ways for the old way of life to wreck our new normal? Are we trying to fit in the former ways of doing too much and competition into this potentially new way of simplicity and enough-ness? Are we adapting to a new way or allowing old ways to dictate how to experience the now? How do we stay motivated without participating in another form of frenzy? What renewals and revelations did you initially experience that are fighting the conformity of the world?

Prayer: God remind me what a YOLO spirit-led life feels and looks like. Show me what I can let go and not participate in. Show me what discomforts I can grow in. Renew me. Refresh me.

Creative: Do something you loved when you were a kid.

Brave: Draw a boundary with something, somewhere or someone.

Generous: Who needs your patience today?

CBG COVID Challenge: #5

March 25, 2020 — Leave a comment

And when he returned to Capernaum after some days, it was reported that he was at home. And many were gathered together, so that there was no more room, not even at the door. And he was preaching the word to them. And they came, by bringing to him a paralytic carried by four men. And when they could not get near him because of the crowd, they removed the roof above him, and when they had made an opening, they let down the bed on which the paralytic lay. And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytics, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”

Mark 2:1-5

All my family and many of my friends live in New York City. It’s grim looking at the numbers and seeing the city close down. When I shared this with a friend, her response to alleviate my anxiety was positive information, backed by the research of a doctor. Instead of feeling better, I actually felt worst about my anxiety, even borderline guilty for “being negative,” or “living into the media fear.” Then right before I went to bed, I was scrolling Upworthy videos and the tears could not stop flowing. The amount of love and joy and community I witnessed moved me, inspired me, and alleviated my fear. Why did the positive news leave me feeling more anxious whereas the good news Upworthy videos stir up hope?

In my fears and in my anxieties, there is a gap between what I am witnessing in reality and what I hope the future will be like. In the first response, my reality was denied. How I was seeing the world was questioned and how I was feeling underneath was not addressed. That leaves you in doubt, exposed and unsteady. In the latter, it wasn’t that my reality was confirmed; it was an alignment with the spirit in me: that there is a reality being acknowledged WHILE actions being taken to suggest a better future. That is hope. It is in the same hand holding what is, and what is possible: love, progress, community. It is acknowledging the pain of the situation without letting the situation stop you from doing good. Hope is a faith that what is does not define us, or even the whole reality. It is a faith that says heaven and healing are possible.

Like Fred Rogers said, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people helping.” The friends of the paralytic acknowledged the situation. They saw their friend’s pain and suffering. They saw the gap. So they stepped in. They said, but …maybe…what if…there’s got to be more to this story! We will jump from being the helper to being the paralytic. In either role, hope gently pats reality in the back and says, you don’t have the last word!

Prayer: Release the guilt of having fear, doubt, panic. Acknowledge that it stems from a faith that things can be different and things are currently not right.

Creative: Write out a few scriptures, mantras, messages on cards and stick them where you can see them!

Brave: Is there a tough conversation you need to have? Have it…

Generous: Is there someone who would really benefit from you being a friend who listens?

CBG COVID Challenge: #4

March 24, 2020 — Leave a comment

David departed from there and escaped to the cave of Adullam. And when his brothers and all his father’s house heard it, they went down there to him. And everyone who was in distress, and everyone who was in debt, and everyone who was bitter in soul gathered to him. And he became commander over them. And there were with him about four hundred men.

1 Samuel 22:1-2

Things are flipped upside down. Our supposed national “leader” is incompetent and instigates hate in order to mitigate his own culpability. Delivery drivers, retired nurses, grocery store clerks — the people our society have relegated to the bottom — put their lives at risk so that the current exploded society has some semblance of hope of continuity. “Leaders” we have chosen to govern us protect their own checking accounts while “ordinary people” creatively structure ways to care for the elderly, the employed and the lonely. In the good times, good leadership is embedded in the culture, the dialogue and impact of a smooth operation. In crisis, good leadership is taken for granted, but poor leadership, rings ugly. True leaders take responsibility and empower their followers for compassion and the whole. Bad leaders feel threaten when things aren’t going their way because their leadership is built on self-preservation and self-protection.

We are all leaders. What kind of leader are you? How do you respond when you feel your ego and power being threatened? Are we thinking about the individual, the whole, or both?

The world was against David. He was being attacked by the most powerful man in the land. Yet, David attracted those who were in distress, those who were in debt, those who were bitter. He attracted the helpless, the needy, the emotionally hard — those that “could not give anything back.” Leaders inevitably attract the vulnerable. What do we do with that responsibility? How do we shepherd the people we attract? Leaders provide refuge for those in distress, freedom for those in debt and purpose for those discontent. But may it be for their sake, and not for our ego and our name.

Prayer: Lay before God your anger.

Creative: Spend an undistracted amount of time making a meal.

Brave: An “unreasonable” ask. Ask for something that scares you.

Generous: Ask 3 people how you can pray for them.

CBG COVID Challenge: #3

March 23, 2020 — Leave a comment

It seems like even in the midst of rhetoric reminding us to slow down, be still, take notice…there is A LOT OF advice, newsletters, even devotionals to help us through this time. I am not excused from that latter. I do not want to add more TO DO’s, more alliteration bullet pointed advice (although I do love alliterations), more noise to the quiet we have been challenged to become comfortable with. Take a breath. In the name of Jesus, release any guilt or need to accomplish more, to achieve more, to have answers for why this season exists. The amount of content shoved down our throats, from news to meditation tips is our humanity trying to feel less helpless in the face of uncontrollable circumstances.

What if this time to be present is a space to expand our seeking without an agenda, our curiosity and our capacity to live in questions? What if we finally can acknowledge how vast the world, our lives and our community are as the unanswerable things become the normal? What if we finally see our own humanity in the presence of a huge God? Have we forgotten that God is that big in the midst of our plans? Have we forgotten God’s promises in the midst of our own desires and schedules? Have we forgotten our truest purpose in the midst of really great callings we’ve discovered in our enneagrams and personality tests?

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, and when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord.

Jeremiah 29:11-14

I must love the questions

themselves

as Rilke said

like locked rooms

full of treasures

to which my blind

and groping key

does not yet fit.

Alice Walker

Prayer: God, I want to find you. I want to know you. I want to hear you. I want to sense you with all my being. I want to feel your presence in me, around me, before me. How are you expanding how I experience you during this time?

Creative: Break out the colors (on nails, on paper, in the pan…)

Brave: Thank someone you haven’t in a while.

Generous: Reach out to a small business to see how they’re doing.

CBG COVID Challenge: #2

March 22, 2020 — 1 Comment

Being quarantined in a house with a family has brought up a lot of resentment in me. One, the family is together, planning dinners and game nights, while I am separated from my family and my friends. Two, they can sit back and receive my rent, while I struggle financially and scramble to apply for any employment during this #stayhome season. Three, they seem so happy and it only fuels my own bitterness. What do all these lead to in me? Victimhood. “I have it so much worse.” “No one gets where I’m at.” “Why do I always have to figure things out on my own?” “If this was the end of the world, I don’t want to die with these housemates…” I am a victim.

And a natural step is to continue the cycle of comparison and say, well there are people who have it A LOT worse than me. There are single parents struggling to feed their kids and pay rent. There are families with relatives who have died or are dying. Businesses are closing. Lay offs for people who have worked at a job for over a decade are happening everywhere. So if I want to play the victim card, and then see the state of others in a even grimmer state, I am left with GUILT. While it is helpful, when it gives you perspective to remember those less fortunate, comparison is not the way to get out of a state of victimhood.

What do my resentments reveal? Underneath my “woe is me,” what am I thinking? What is my “victimhood” preserving and protecting? My desires. My hurt. My unmet expectations. Because under the irritation and bitterness are my desires to be with people I love, to have a sense of financial security and to be in joy. All these desires are unmet. And I am scared; and I am hurt. I am sad I don’t have a partner that I’d like to be quarantined with. I am sad that my career after all these years still feels uncertain and stagnant. I realize that my joy is very much wrapped up in circumstances. When I am in this state of thought and meditation, God can work. God can work in our honesty and rawness. He can’t break in fully in our lens of comparison. So what’s the remedy to victimhood? Vulnerability.

Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves one another has fulfilled the law.

Romans 13:8

Prayer: Lay before God your desires, your expectations and your hurt.

Creative: Write a haiku. (5-7-5)

Brave: Let someone know where you’re at, and tell them, you don’t need advice, just a listening ear.

Generous: Venmo $1 to someone to let them know you’re thinking of them, you’re with them!

CBG COVID Challenge: #1

March 21, 2020 — Leave a comment

It is natural and normal to paint the current situation as grim. It is. And it can feel insensitive and fake to simply find the silver lining or to focus on the positive. We as children of God DO NOT and SHOULD NOT do that because God does not silver line or simply zoom past reality to eventual heaven. If anyone and anything exemplifies how to “get through crisis,” it was Jesus f’ng Christ. He lived through humanity aka crisis and pain and hurt. He was with humanity. So as Christians we must set an example of how to live through reality while focusing on the goal and treasure we have already gained. This is our special time to overtly balance things that seem incongruent — here and not yet; fully clean yet needs sanctification; saints and sinners. What would it look like for us to be the truest church today, a church that makes others know and feel, we may be human form but we are Spirit guided.

As I was meditating on what the current situation feels like — anxiety, fear, depression, anger, sorrow, joy, gratitude, the movie Inside Out — I landed on this scripture which I think can be a way in to how we will get through.

For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?

Matthew 16:26

When we have the world, it’s easy to meditate on that scripture and tell ourselves — yes don’t be hoarding, don’t be selfish, meditate on God. We were focused on and we had the world, and we didn’t know it. Until now, when it really feels like we have lost the world. We have. We have lost our plans, our community, our money, our jobs, our hugs, life as we know it. So, now that the world is upside down, I’m going to flip this scripture.

For what will it profit a man if he gains his soul and forfeits the whole world?

That, children of God, is what we have. We have gained our soul and we have lost our world. This special time we have is a time for us to one, meditate and live into what it means to “gain our soul” and two, acknowledge and work through a reality of “forfeiting the world.” Can we do this? Can we do the hard work to shift and mold our character and soul while being real humans about our loss? I think by the Holy Spirit we can and we must!

Not sure if it’s Warren Buffet or Benjamin Graham, one of these old wealthy rich dudes, said to do something creative, brave and generous every day. Through these three categories I hope to make tangible the posture of Matthew 16:26. I also want to share a daily prayer posture. I hope this reset and reframe God has put on humanity will lead to a kinder, more vulnerable, and more overtly interdependent world. We need each other and each other is the funnest way through. Virtually, of course. STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE!

Prayer: Grief. Be real and honest with God with loss you are experiencing and you see the world around you experiencing. Give it to God, hardcore lay it on God. Take a breath and let God really respond however God does.

Creative: Dance and jam to a song. YAS queen.

Brave: Who can you forgive?

Generous: Pray for someone who annoys you.

John 17: Get that Glory

January 21, 2020 — Leave a comment

And now, Father, glorify me in your own presence with the glory that I had with you before the world existed.

If we hear someone say, I should be glorified! I want glory! we might think this person is arrogant, entitled, selfish, self-involved…all the words in this category. Yet Jesus asks of it! He asks to be glorified! He wants the glory.

What makes his desire not only okay but good and worthy to be followed?

His glory WILL POINT BACK TO THE FATHER. If you get glory, who gets the recognition?

His glory IS ROOTED FROM THE BEGINNING of a good and good creation. Where does your desire for glory stem from?

His glory is a CONTINUATION OF PAST GLORY. Where in your past have you received recognition and deserves to be developed?

His glory stems from DOING THE WORK, LIVING OUT HIS CALLING AND PURPOSES! Are you doing the work? Are you tapped into your purpose? Are you felling a story beyond yourself?

We need to first answer these questions. And once we’re tapped in, demand that GLORY. Because it’s not a sudden change; it’s simply a recognition that you’re already in the GLORY.

John 16: Tell all the truth but tell it slant

January 20, 2020 — Leave a comment

I have said these things to you in figures of speech. The hour is coming when I will no longer speak to you in figures of speech but will tell you plainly about the Father.

Metaphor

Similes, As If’s and like’s

Make the medicine go down

Movies art

Poetry

Make suffering and realties

Digestible and gentle

Candy coated like gardens of Eden

Hold the stories and feelings we understand

Growing and pruning truth in its core

What if Jesus is a metaphor?

What if the words we take to be so inherently true

Are true in the sense that they point to truth

But within itself are malleable and allow for shifts

According to where the light hits

And the time of day

And season of life

Flexible allows for faith

Flexible holds a God that has inherent worth

A God who is unafraid of your doubt and anger

I want the truth

Straight and slanted

Psalm 13: Express your Vengeance

January 19, 2020 — Leave a comment

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me?

There is nothing wrong with expressing your anger and even your desire for revenge. Sometimes the injustice of the world and your own loneliness are so palpable they overflow into cursing everyone else, especially those who seem to get away with everything. This world has full of those injustices. Those who deserve judgement may never get it. This who are helpless stay in their pits for way too long.

Express it fully.

Speak it out.

How much you want evil to crumple!

How much you want to be pulled out of the cave!

How God has forgotten you.

He hasn’t, but it certainly feels like it.

And your feelings are valid.

Violence is a response to unspoken anger.

Violence is what happens when we bottle it up and the lid explodes uncontrollably.

But if we can honestly express.

Honestly hear what we express.

We might see some of the things we hold as true, are not as true as the fact that —

God will come.

God has come.

God is here and has not left you.

Feel that fully.

Embrace that fully.

Speak out in praise!

John 15: You’re doing good when you’re being stripped

January 19, 2020 — Leave a comment

Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.

How do you know you’re bearing fruit? When you’re getting pruned! When you’re being stripped. When you’re feeling exposed. When you’re getting smaller but more focused. You’re bearing fruit when it hurts. When you’re in the process. When you’re growing out of your old clothes and still trying to find new clothes to wear.

You bear fruit not in the stagnant. You bear fruit when you’re not thinking about the fruit, but just trying to stay alive and attached. You bear fruit not when you notice it, but when others see you remaining in the fire.

How do you know you’re bearing fruit? When it feels like you’ve got more to bear. Persevere. Stay the path. That’s bearing fruit.