Jesus

CBG: Offering

May 29, 2020 — Leave a comment

The apostles returned to Jesus and told him all that they had done and taught. And he said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. And they went away in the boat to a desolate place by themselves. Now many saw them going and recognized them, and they ran there on foot from all the towns and got there ahead of them. When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. And he began to teach them many things. And when it grew late, his disciples came to him and said, “This is a desolate place, and the hour is now late. Send them away to go into the surrounding countryside and villages and buy themselves something to eat.” But he answered them, “You give them something to eat.” And they said to him, “Shall we go and buy two hundred denarii worth of bread and give it to them to eat?” And he said to them, “How many loaves do you have? Go and see.” And when they found out, they said, “Five, and two fish.”

Mark 6:30-38

The disciples are exhausted. They were supposed to go rest; Jesus had encouraged them to go rest. But the people and the needs followed. And so un-rested, they continued to serve. The people came and Jesus gathered them, gave them his attention, his time, his presence. The disciples noticed and knew that these people would be hungry. They were thinking ahead and suggested that the people be encouraged to go get food. It made sense. This was a plan for everyone. But Jesus throws on them another task?! They’ve already served and gave up their rest! And now Jesus expects the disciples to also somehow find enough food to feed the thousands?! They’re tired. They’re spent. Jesus, give ’em a break!!

I would have said something sarcastic, too.

Jesus, oh Jesus, doesn’t meet our sarcasm with sarcasm. He simply asks, what do you have? What can we offer? What can you offer?

You’re tired. You’re exhausted. You’ve done good. You should rest. You’ve looked at needs and still kept giving. You are tired. You are exhausted. You can’t handle another impossible thing to do, to see, to have to help with. When you’re in that exhaustion, it makes sense to see the problem as too big, too impossible. It probably is. It probably will require too much that you don’t have. Say the sarcastic thing. Make a deprecating joke. Roll your eyes. Take a breath.

What do you have? You have something! It may seem small, but you’d be surprised if you step in with faith and courage. Your offering may seem minuscule compared to the obstacle in front of you. But, the step of offering even that, of focusing on what you do have, will show you the miracle that can happen.

Prayer: God I pray that you help me focus on what I can give and what I do have rather than just looking at the challenge and mountain ahead. God I pray that you help me take small steps to change, to act, to help. The faith of a mustard seed can move mountains. I trust that.

Character: Where have I focused on the mountain instead of my ability to walk up the mountain?

Grace: Where has God showed you his abundance in the midst of our lack?

CBG: Self-control

May 28, 2020 — Leave a comment

The Passover of the Jews was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. In the temple he found those who were selling oxen and sheep and pigeons, and the money-changers sitting there. And making a whip of cords, he drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and oxen. And he poured out the coins of the money-changers and overturned their tables. And he told those who sold the pigeons, “Take these things away; do not make my Father’s house a house of trade.” His disciples remembered that it was written, “Zeal for your house will consume me.” So the Jews said to him, “What sign do you show us for doing these things?” Jesus answered them, “Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.”

John 2:13-19

Jesus flipped over the tables at the temple. He made a mess with the coins. He caused the chaos and confronted the people who infuriated them. Those who were with him saw his passion. Those who didn’t know him or were inconvenienced by him demanded an answer for his actions. It’s a foreshadow. It’s a warning. It’s a sign of what is to come.

I do not condone violence when its intention and sole purpose is to harm recklessly and to showcase ego. Violence is an inability to express anger and an acting from an emotional clog/prison. However, I do understand an anger that can no longer be held in and must be expressed. Anger is helpful; it stems from a sense of injustice, pain and hurt. Anger expressed, not to make another small, but to shake someone awake, is necessary.

Self-control has been pillaged by interpretations stemming from a need to control, or can I say it, the white supremacy and patriarchy that has infiltrated our study of the Word. When I first hear of self-control, I think of this pushing down of desires that are “bad for you,” or a denying of your feelings for the sake of “something better.” Often this preaching of self-control is aimed towards women and people of color, or people who have lots of feelings. That is not self-control!

Self-control is an ability to understand one’s feelings and act righteously from those feelings. It’s not a denial of our desires. It’s not being ruled by our desires. The self in self-control demonstrates how strong one’s perspective can overtake the needs/good of others. So in order for the self not to go haywire with its wants, the control comes from seeing one’s desires in light of your grandest purpose and the people that may be affected by your want. Self-control is holding our desires and feelings without judgment to consider how it will affect us when expressed and those in the path of them.

Jesus in that temple is self-control personified. He knew and felt his anger. He wrecked his “Father’s house” which had been violated for capitalistic purposes. Yes, he was passionate, and his passion stemmed from his overflowing purpose. Jesus didn’t participate in a riot; he started a rebellion. Riots alone for the sake of destruction are not helpful, but rebellions that are part of a greater revolution to restore humanity, that we must be for.

Prayer: God I pray for a healthy way to express my anger that doesn’t destroy. God I pray for justice and my responsibility to enact it. God I pray for restoration and my role in it. God I pray for anger aimed for the sake of renewal and restoration.

Character: Where have I chosen to hurt others and myself rather than vulnerably express my anger?

Grace: How does God’s justice feel?

CBG: Gentleness

May 27, 2020 — Leave a comment

When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.” He said to him a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep. Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch our your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go.” And after saying this he said to him, “Follow me.”

John 21:15-19

Imagine if Jesus from the gitgo told Peter he was going to be crucified. Ouch.

It might have felt like that the crucifixion was part of Peter’s punishment for denying Jesus. That would have crushed Peter. There might not have been restoration. Always hanging on Peter’s head might be his once-upon-a-time major transgression.

However, Jesus is not cruel. He doesn’t make us grovel at his feet until he thinks we deserve forgiveness. He forgives. He knows we are fallible humans. He knows and he loves, and so he is perfect with his language and the timing of it.

Jesus layers. Jesus says as much as Peter can handle. He spends time so that we don’t just hear the truth, but we experience the speaker of the truth. If Peter hadn’t been prodded several times, he might not have added to his last response, Lord you know everything, and to that, Jesus prophesied Peter’s future.

Gentleness recognizes that every person is one step from either shutting down or opening up, and acts in a way that encourages the latter. Gentleness is not subject to time. Gentleness treats its subjects as treasures. Gentleness holds the present as the goal. Gentleness is a posture of meeting and honoring the fragile humanity in another.

Prayer: God I pray for a gentle posture when that is the most powerful way to connect to another human being. God I pray for salve in my words and kindness in my actions. God I pray for a felt strength in my gentleness.

Character: Where has your impatience or your control in timing led to unfruitful acts?

Grace: In what ways is God prodding you to be gentler with yourself?

CBG: Rest

May 17, 2020 — Leave a comment

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30

I come to the end of this week weary and tired. People talk of a second wind when you run long distances, when you suddenly get a spurt of energy that helps you finish the second half. I feel like this has been the opposite. A second wall, like we’re starting at scratch again, recalibrating again what this next season will be. We made it through spring and now we need to make it through summer.

I need the promises of this verse. I need the ease and rest of this verse. Yoke is a wooden harness that usually allows two oxen to work together. I imagine it is Jesus and I clicked into this harness, the wagon unevenly set behind him. I imagine the scene of Jesus carrying his own cross and I trying to help in the back, even though the bulk of the weight is on his shoulders. Then I imagine that Jesus had already done all that physical work and all that’s left of him and I is simply to love God and others. His yoke is not oppressive or burdensome. His yoke frees us. His yoke actually gives us rest. When we do the work of God, we get rest. There is a kind of work that leaves you tired and relieved at the end of the day. Am I participating in that kind of work right now? Or am I doing unnecessarily laboring? For who?

  1. What does rest feel like?
  2. Where are you laboring in vain, or at the core, only for your own gain?
  3. Where are you doing it all, when you can ask for help?
  4. What are your hopes for summer?
  5. What’s a character trait you hope to practice and develop this week?

CBG: Pain

May 7, 2020 — Leave a comment

After this, Jesus knowing that all was now finished, said (to fulfill the Scripture), “I thirst.” A jar full of sour wine stood there, so they put a sponge full of the sour wine on a hyssop branch and held it to his mouth. When Jesus had received the sour wine, he said, “It is finished,” and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

John 19:28-30

Jesus was going to die. What would a sip of hydration going to do? He’s dying. He’s thirsty. He gets sour wine.

There are some days, like today, when you hear about another innocent black man who is murdered by white supremacists who are not held accountable for their hate, that there is nothing that can quench the pain and suffering. No words. No amount of money. No justice that will bring back Ahmaud’s life.

What can quench the anger? What can quench the injustice? What can salve the pain? What can make us believe, again and again, that we are progressing? What glimmer of hope is now?

God’s justice doesn’t seem to break through. God’s eventual reign doesn’t seem to break through. I somehow find comfort in Jesus’ death and pain. That he suffered till the very end. That he suffered because of a friend’s betrayal. That he suffered for us, who forget, who often don’t give a shit. Jesus suffered hard. My greatest hope is that Jesus’ sacrificial love moves our anger to sadness to love to the most faithful and courageous action.

Prayer: God I pray for justice. I pray for comfort. I pray for your light to break through the darkness.

Character: Where can I redirect my anger more in the direction of love?

Grace: Where in your body can you make room for God’s grace?

CBG: Agenda

May 1, 2020 — Leave a comment

The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst they said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law of Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus, said, “Neither do I condemn you; go and from now on sin no more.”

John 8:3-11

How often do we use people as examples for our own agendas? We miss the humanity right before our eyes and aim only to protect our own culture. How often do we get tunnel vision because of our own agendas? We ask the wrong questions and are shocked by answers that reveal our own pain. How often do we think in terms of old narratives to justify our own agendas? We miss the new life right before our eyes. I hope every accusation we have against another is a truer opportunity to self-reflect and shift. I hope our grip on old ways of living that gave our lives a sense of certainty and structure would give way to a more faithful, unpredictable journey of undoing and relearning.

I hope we know that unlike humans who are wrapped up in self-agenda, God does not condemn us. He doesn’t condone the harmful ways we live and act, and he beckons us to change in privacy. He doesn’t expose us as a display for other humans to learn. God exposes us so we can experience an intimacy and a connection. Even as God tells us to sin no more, he knows that’s impossible on this side of heaven. What he is encouraging us is to do is make a choice to turn from our former ways that amount to deeper pain and loneliness, and instead to turn to a new way of wholeness and faith. It won’t be perfect, but simply because it’s a continual act does not mean we don’t keep trying.

Prayer: To stop justifying, figuring things out, testing God. To see what’s presented before us and receive.

Character: What actions, thoughts and stories create more harm, self-reliance and disconnection in your life? What is the cost of shifting?

Grace: Where in you life have you felt the grace of God over and over again?

CBG: Humility

April 28, 2020 — Leave a comment

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interest of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not county equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

Philippians 2:1-8

On those fuck the world days, this passage is irritating and feels overindulgent, a passage meant only for those with no worries and so much #SoBlessed. On days when I’m not incessantly fending off lies about my worth and instead feel a softness in my heart to receive wisdom from above, this passage carries an impossible task written for a fairy-tale world, and I live in a real, real-messy land.

What is it about humility that offends our nature? Why is it so preached yet rarely ever experienced? Yet the greatest leaders among us are usually marked with this coveted trait.

It’s a long-enduring work-in-progress character journey that involves ever-evolving antagonists and obstacles. Humility wins don’t come with fanfare and victory marches. It’s a surrender of power. It’s a choosing of an inner power over an outward display. Humility is often misjudged by those who are wrapped up in their own egos, (which is most of us). Others’ projections can make us feel that humility is insignificant, even laughable. Humility is always uncomfortable and vulnerable. It makes another feel space and power, and that can be risky for our space and power. If humility comes with such grueling work, why pursue it?

It pulls you more into a centeredness that makes you firm in all circumstances. It grows your empathy to see all as part of the same humanity. It focuses you on your calling, your purposes. It gives you greater access to forgiveness and awareness of judgement. Its presence, even if you are not aware of it, and usually you shouldn’t be, transforms those around you. It is the ultimate display of immovable power and identity.

Prayer: Only by your grace and Spirit can I even inch into this kind of character and living. Help me to surrender where I sense helplessness. Help me to encourage where my words can soothe. Help me to step back where I do not belong. Help me God.

Creative: Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interest of others. — Make a list of both and compare.

Brave: emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant — Where can you surrender status?

Generous: complete my joy by being of the same mind — Who needs you to remind them they are not alone?

CBG COVID Challenge: #1

March 21, 2020 — Leave a comment

It is natural and normal to paint the current situation as grim. It is. And it can feel insensitive and fake to simply find the silver lining or to focus on the positive. We as children of God DO NOT and SHOULD NOT do that because God does not silver line or simply zoom past reality to eventual heaven. If anyone and anything exemplifies how to “get through crisis,” it was Jesus f’ng Christ. He lived through humanity aka crisis and pain and hurt. He was with humanity. So as Christians we must set an example of how to live through reality while focusing on the goal and treasure we have already gained. This is our special time to overtly balance things that seem incongruent — here and not yet; fully clean yet needs sanctification; saints and sinners. What would it look like for us to be the truest church today, a church that makes others know and feel, we may be human form but we are Spirit guided.

As I was meditating on what the current situation feels like — anxiety, fear, depression, anger, sorrow, joy, gratitude, the movie Inside Out — I landed on this scripture which I think can be a way in to how we will get through.

For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?

Matthew 16:26

When we have the world, it’s easy to meditate on that scripture and tell ourselves — yes don’t be hoarding, don’t be selfish, meditate on God. We were focused on and we had the world, and we didn’t know it. Until now, when it really feels like we have lost the world. We have. We have lost our plans, our community, our money, our jobs, our hugs, life as we know it. So, now that the world is upside down, I’m going to flip this scripture.

For what will it profit a man if he gains his soul and forfeits the whole world?

That, children of God, is what we have. We have gained our soul and we have lost our world. This special time we have is a time for us to one, meditate and live into what it means to “gain our soul” and two, acknowledge and work through a reality of “forfeiting the world.” Can we do this? Can we do the hard work to shift and mold our character and soul while being real humans about our loss? I think by the Holy Spirit we can and we must!

Not sure if it’s Warren Buffet or Benjamin Graham, one of these old wealthy rich dudes, said to do something creative, brave and generous every day. Through these three categories I hope to make tangible the posture of Matthew 16:26. I also want to share a daily prayer posture. I hope this reset and reframe God has put on humanity will lead to a kinder, more vulnerable, and more overtly interdependent world. We need each other and each other is the funnest way through. Virtually, of course. STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE!

Prayer: Grief. Be real and honest with God with loss you are experiencing and you see the world around you experiencing. Give it to God, hardcore lay it on God. Take a breath and let God really respond however God does.

Creative: Dance and jam to a song. YAS queen.

Brave: Who can you forgive?

Generous: Pray for someone who annoys you.

John 17: Get that Glory

January 21, 2020 — Leave a comment

And now, Father, glorify me in your own presence with the glory that I had with you before the world existed.

If we hear someone say, I should be glorified! I want glory! we might think this person is arrogant, entitled, selfish, self-involved…all the words in this category. Yet Jesus asks of it! He asks to be glorified! He wants the glory.

What makes his desire not only okay but good and worthy to be followed?

His glory WILL POINT BACK TO THE FATHER. If you get glory, who gets the recognition?

His glory IS ROOTED FROM THE BEGINNING of a good and good creation. Where does your desire for glory stem from?

His glory is a CONTINUATION OF PAST GLORY. Where in your past have you received recognition and deserves to be developed?

His glory stems from DOING THE WORK, LIVING OUT HIS CALLING AND PURPOSES! Are you doing the work? Are you tapped into your purpose? Are you felling a story beyond yourself?

We need to first answer these questions. And once we’re tapped in, demand that GLORY. Because it’s not a sudden change; it’s simply a recognition that you’re already in the GLORY.

John 16: Tell all the truth but tell it slant

January 20, 2020 — Leave a comment

I have said these things to you in figures of speech. The hour is coming when I will no longer speak to you in figures of speech but will tell you plainly about the Father.

Metaphor

Similes, As If’s and like’s

Make the medicine go down

Movies art

Poetry

Make suffering and realties

Digestible and gentle

Candy coated like gardens of Eden

Hold the stories and feelings we understand

Growing and pruning truth in its core

What if Jesus is a metaphor?

What if the words we take to be so inherently true

Are true in the sense that they point to truth

But within itself are malleable and allow for shifts

According to where the light hits

And the time of day

And season of life

Flexible allows for faith

Flexible holds a God that has inherent worth

A God who is unafraid of your doubt and anger

I want the truth

Straight and slanted